Two of my flatmates are having some sort of relationship, but they have not told me. I walked downstairs a while ago and they were 'busy' in the kitchen, I just turned around and went back to my room.
I know it is none of my business, but for some reason it has made me really angry. I have shared personal stuff with both of them before. He and I are good friends, she and I are good friends, but I feel like they are deceiving me. I don't really mind if they are seeing each other, I just hate the idea that they are lying (I have given both a chance to mention it, but they didn't).
I know they don't have any responsibility to tell me everything, (and I don't automatically tell them everything either) which is what makes this feeling so bizarre, I don't know where it has come from or why. I just know I am angry and very uncomfortable around either of them (they act like nothing is happening, and they have no idea I know). Any ideas?
2006-11-26 19:51:55 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You need to get laid.
2006-11-26 19:54:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say confront them and ask them why you havnt told them. you never know it might be paranorma (i think thats the right word anyway) and nothings going on. its not like theres any point keeping quiet and letting it be a secret when you already know. Be a friend about it, you never know they might ave done it for your own good i.e they thought you liked the girl or because they are doing a chandler and monica and when its a secret the relationship is better. I doubt they purposely do it to hurt you. to sum up, talk to them. all these hidden feelings cant be doing anyone any good for you or them! someone will end up getting hurt or ur have someone eye out with that!
2006-11-27 04:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by diamondchichan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you want them to be honest with you, but you are not being honest with them. Be the bigger man. Confront them. tell them you have walked in on them a few times. Ask them why they felt the need to hide it from you and let them know it hurt you. Don't be angry when you talk to them tho. Be calm and cool about it like it's no big thing. Maybe even joke a little. Vent before you do it if need be to let off some steam, but if you confront them while you are upset then they will have had good reason to hide it from you. Good luck!
2006-11-27 04:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by mysticeyes792006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Off course you would be annoyed, I would be to if I were you. They are supposed to be your friends, You thought you could trust them. And in my oppinion it is partly your business as you have to live in the same house as them. Come straight out with it to them, let them know that you know and ask why they felt that they had to keep it from you. This is the only why you will resolve all this and it will make you feel better to have it all sorted out because I know that if I was you this would be interfering with my life. I would constantly be wondering about it, it would always be on my mind, getting me down.
2006-11-27 03:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy_L_B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just uncomfortable because you all were friends, and now everything has changed. Just wait, it will get worse when they both start coming to you with their issues. Do you like the girl more than you realized??? If not, don't worry, it won't last. Never does. Maybe they didn't tell you because they thought you would be uncomfortable....which you are!!!
2006-11-27 03:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you may have been seeking a closer connection with your flatmates than they have been seeking from you and as a result you have over-invested in your relationship with them, this is okay, I've been there and done that, it sucks but it happens sometimes.
Try to keep your feelings in check, and try to understand the nature of the relationship between yourself and your housemates, this may feel weird as you may feel a bit rejected by them. It may help to write down on a piece of paper all those who are involved in your life (flatmates, friends, family etc) and write next to their names the connection you would like, and the connection that you have, to identify who best to invest in.
Hope this is helpful to you.
2006-11-27 06:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by tysonian22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
New relationships tend to be fragile, and those involved often tend to keep these to themselves. You should not feel threatened nor angry. You should stay out of it.
Let that grow if it will, or wilt if it must, but anything you do or say you will be later blamed for.
Stay "out of the Loop" and see this as a kindness from your friends.
2006-11-27 03:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Norton N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel left out ,don't you? I would be , too if I were in your place.
Wait for a couple of days but if they don"t open up to the true situation, ask them. But the key is subtlety.Don't act as if it's wrong to have that kind of relationship , just tell them '"We are friends aren't we?".
2006-11-27 04:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by hope t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matt, I think you are feeling left out. You can politely say to your 'mates that you are feeling left out and you are ok about them having a relationship. Hopefully they will have the courage to admit the truth, and everyone can live in peace again.
And let them know that you'd be willing to hold the videocamera for them as well! ;)
2006-11-27 03:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is yours. You wish they would open up but maybe they're not too sure about how they feel either. Put yourself in their position - we all need a bit of privacy at times. It's not because you're a bad friend, but because you're such a good friend! They feel a bit shy.
Give them time ... be generous.
2006-11-27 04:35:46 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You secretly wish it was you? Ask if they mind if you join them sometime! Maybe it makes it more exciting for them to be "keeping it a big secret." Even if it isn't anymore.
2006-11-27 04:04:39 · answer #11 · answered by Evil Wordmonger, LTD LOL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋