I am a 38 year old married mom of 6. I love my husband and I have tried to talk to him about this. He is 12 years older then me and isn't interested in sex anymore but I am. There is this guy who has show intrest in me and he is 14 years younger then me, I am finding it very difficult to say no. I don't want to say no because that how I feel but because I am married and love my husband, I don't know what to do. I can't keep going on like I am dead can I? Any advice?
2006-11-26 19:44:06 · 24 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
tough...
2006-11-26 19:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by alegna_2004 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your husband again and insist that you two get into couples counseling. Immediately cut off contact with this other, younger man. He's nothing but trouble for you and your marriage. You don't need him in the picture confusing things right now. Since you've made the commitment of marriage to your husband and I'm guessing that you love him or you wouldn't have married him then there is still hope for working things out. Those feelings of love and lust can be brought back, but it will take work from both of you.
2006-11-27 03:48:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mom,
Think hard about this. No sex you decide to have with someone other than your spouse is going to be casual. If you take this step, you are risking a hell of a lot for the sake of physical pleasure; you've no way of knowing that the loving closeness and sharing that you associate with intimacy are going to be there with another partner.
Try again to talk with your husband about what you really need to feel with him. Is there a reason he isn't interested that he feels he can't share with you? Don't stop loving your husband, don't stop trying to be the best friend he has. And please, don't stop being your own best friend as well---listen to your heart.
I can't tell you what you ought to do. I'm praying for you, whatever you decide to do.
2006-11-27 04:07:01 · answer #3 · answered by Palmerpath 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving it up to this younger guy will be disastrous for you.
Unless you like the idea of being casually pumped and dumped.
He has no desire to take care of you anymore than sexually.
Unfortunately, younger guys target older married women with kids because we EXPECT them to feel overwhelmed and neglected.
Don't play this game unless you are prepared to feel cheap when it's over.
If you truly still love your husband, tell him that you are horny.
Let him know that he's not fulfilling your needs.
At least give him that chance before you betray him.
2006-11-27 04:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you cheat, talk to your husband. Try to find out why he has no sex drive. There may be a deeper problem at the root of this situation. Maybe he needs Viagra and is too embarassed to see a doctor to get it. Maybe he is interested in someone else as well. He is alienating you for a reason, and it is most important for you to find out why.
2006-11-27 03:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go there, it will distroy your relationship with your husband. I think you need to talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and maybe the two of you need marriage counseling, you never know it could work. It has become very popular now a days. Would it not be worth giving it a shot if you thought it could sort out you relationship?
2006-11-27 03:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lucy_L_B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can try first to imagine the outcome
once you had sex with the 26 year old. Would if you discover it was no big deal. Visualize all the guilt and emotions you would or not feel, then you may find those sexual desires will dissipate.
2006-11-27 03:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by Sunny2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age differences here is making your situation very difficult. I would not want to advise someone to cheat on their husband, but neither would I say that you deserve to be denied a sexual life and being paid attention to. Especially at your age. You got to talk to your husband and get him to talk the truth. Ultimately, as Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true."
2006-11-27 03:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should not have to go on like u r dead but cheating shouldn't be the answer. sit your husband down & explain to him exactly how u r feeling & what "his lack of sexual interest" has caused u to contemplate doing. if he can't adjust & compromise then maybe divorce is inevitable so that u can be a complete & happy woman - good luck
2006-11-27 03:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by momatendofrope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey you should not. If you value your marraige and want to keep it you need to spell it out to your husband. Tell him he's not fulfilling your needs anymore and you've been fighting the urges to get yourself filled from other people. If he doesn't immediately come around, swoop you off your feet and take you on the spot, you should call your friend and tell him you're ready for some good lovin.
2006-11-27 03:48:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do you. But know there are consequences in "most" situations. What is up with your husband, I know men, late in their 60's who are still interested in sex, try some counseling for the old boy.
2006-11-27 04:06:04 · answer #11 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋