We'll get into a fight, and things get so heated up that I just get quiet and start to cry, the problem is my boyfriend then gets even angrier that I'm crying and makes fun of the way I cry (making crybaby sounds) and insults me...calling me a *****. He's ALWAYS cruel to me when i cry, what should I do? I don't know how to get him just to back off a bit, why does he seem to get angrier? and so mean?
2006-11-26 19:41:11 · 21 answers · asked by Bridget D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have to also add that when he does do that, we're having a reallly really blazing fight, and he says I cry for stupid reasons.
2006-11-26 20:13:54 · update #1
Please Dearheart get yourself out of that relationship. A person who loves you would not treat you like that. He just wants to keep you to control you. NOBODY deserves to have their feelings miss used like that. Hold your head up and tell him to go jump in a lake.
2006-11-26 19:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by beckini 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hi, all I can say is you don't need someone to do that to you. A person that really cares would never hurt you when it is clear that you are already hurt. Making fun of you, how old is he? He is not a man, a man respects women! Even if you did something to make him mad his reaction shows a lot about him. You choose if he gets to treat you like that! You decide if you want him in your life! It dosent matter how old you are, you have a voice and a right to not put up with his anger problem. This might just be the start of worse things to come. You do not need a man to define your self worth.
I may have been way off, maybe it was just a stupid one time fight but you did say "ALWAYS" I think he is trying to control the situation so my answer is there is nothing you can do but get out of the situation.
I will personally be here if you need a friend.
Best wishes!
Nina xox
2006-11-26 19:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by ninamarie_xox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. I have been there. I was told by a good friend when a woman shows weakness, it scares a man. We are stronger than they are and believe it or not, they lean on us for emotional support. So, when we cry some guys are nicer than others, but some handle it in their own way which is anger. The guy doesn't sound very nice to be calling you names tho. What I did in that situation was I would hold back the tears, look him in the eyes and say "You know what You can't hurt me anymore I am done with this conversation with you. Enough!" And it shocked him! I eventually left the guy becoz he was a crap bag and now I am married to a man that will comfort me when I cry BUT I do not cry all the time due to that relationship before so when I do cry it is really meaningful and he knows I'm upset and he comforts me. That is the way it should be. He shouldn't be treating you so badly. Sounds like he has self esteem issues so he brings you down with him. Sorry Hon.
2006-11-26 19:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by mysticeyes792006 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He acts this way because he can... It's all about the power whose in control. Believe me I'm a guy I'm almost eighteen and I've seen many guys in my life do the same to there girl friends.. Just tell him. "Look sweetie, I really like you I do but when you act this way, I have doubts about us and I want to show you off to all my friends and to my family but if you just walk away and shrug your shoulders when I'm in need of a sweet affectionate guy than it shows that your immature and you aren't sure about us.. So please stop acting like an *** when I need you or we will be over.. For good." When you guys have a problem and you resort to a break up than you guys shouldn't be in a relationship. Every relationship has decades of problems but you must grow up and realize that. But you should leave him anyway.. There are millions of guys out there for you... That means there are a million lifes you could live, if you hate the one you have go to the next one.
2016-05-23 08:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of men get that way when u cry because it is an emotion they don't understand, an emotion they rarely would ever allow themselves to do. To them crying is a total loss of control and it's a sign of weakness and instability. How he is treating u though is cruel and unacceptable. My x was the same way, he would demean me if I cryed and tell me I was phyco and to take it to another room. The best thing to do if u are in a fight is just walk away. Guys are not like women, they can't sit and talk it out if they are angry and the more emotion u show the meaner they will get. Just walk out of the room and let him cool down and get his thoughts together. Wait for him to come to u when he is ready to talk.
2006-11-27 02:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by Amber 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My fiance is like this at times. Not exactly like this, but similar. I have talked about it with him, and here's some reasons he has given me that might be helpful:
It makes him feel powerful to make fun of you
He is hurting on the inside too but doesnt want to show that to you, so he acts in an "anti-crying" way
He has seen others, perhaps parents, act this way and is acting how he has learned from example
He feels bad when you cry, but doesnt know how to make you stop, so he thinks he can guilt you in to stopping
I suggest that you talk to him about this at some time when you are both calm. Maybe he will be able to open up to u as to why he behaves in this way, and the two of you will be able to work on it together.
2006-11-26 19:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
this sounds like a seriouse situation.
If he laughs at you when you cry, then he doesn't care for your feelings.
If a boyfriend doesn't care about your feelings..then what is he for? He should support you...that's what every type of relationship is for...friends suport friends...mothers support daughters etc...
If he gets used to making fun of you, then when he gets reelly mad..he may even beat you. it can happen
Be cautious and stay brave. This does not sound like a healthy relationship.*Please go to counselling> not because theirs a problem with you, but because everyone needs help in a relationship like yours.
good luck :)
2006-11-26 19:51:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a *******! When you're not fighting, tell him how bad it makes you feel when he makes fun of you for crying, and tell him if he doesn't make an effort to stop, you'll dump him. If you think your relationship is worth it give him a chance to change his behaviour. If he isn't willing to change, dump him!
2006-11-26 19:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hunny first of all this doesnt seem like a healthy relationship. Maybe you should weigh your options and decide if this is really worth it. It doesnt seem like he really cares about your feelings..who would make fun of someone who is crying (especially if you love that person) I wouldnt even do that to a stranger!!!
2006-11-26 19:44:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
he's not going to back off.
i have dated someone just like that. and it only gets worse...progresses to physical abuse. what he is doing is called emotional/verbal abuse. you can't change him. your best bet is to be strong and leave him. tell your parents and or close friends what is going on to create a network of support around you. if you can't do that...check your phone book/internet for a local domestic abuse hot line/or shelter for more help. there are also support groups.
make no mistake, what he's doing to you is very unhealthy for you mentally, emotionally and psychologically. i hope for your sake that you leave him.
and remember...no matter what they say...it's not love if it hurts. a person that loves you will not treat you in the manner that you described.
good luck.
2006-11-26 19:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by chocolatebunny 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋