I'm in my 50's, so is he, he has worked hard all his life, so have I, he has been married 2x, me too, although my husband died.
He is not too good with money and has very little savings. I have saved and saved. At this point, for us to move in together, neither of our houses are adequate, so we need a much larger home to accomodate all of us. Our two teenage children of the opposite sex don't get along well, so the place would have to be big. It would be very expensive. I could buy a house for all of us, but I'm uncomfortable because in this market, should something happen to our relationship, I would get hung with a lot of expenses and a house way to big for my son and me. He says he will make the payments, and he is able, but what if...????
2006-11-26 19:15:47 · 8 answers · asked by LuckyEddie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buy the home in your name and if things don't work out and you can't afford it, sell it.
2006-11-26 19:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, major point being that the kids don't want this. What's the huge motivation for living together? Why not maintain and wait til one of the kids moves out and then pick from one of the two houses you own?
You're talking about major, major life changes for everyone and you've still got what if on your mind. Also, wouldn't the strain on your relationship be less if one of the kids was grown? Give it another year, see how he's doing, research the market, maybe you can find a peach, and then decide.
2006-11-27 06:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That "what if" is huge! There is no way I would get in that boat if I were you. Rent a place until you decide to marry, if you decide to marry. Things change when you live together. Make him a deal, cause he will most likely never be able to afford the down on a house. ...You're name only on the deed until you get married. See how he sits with that. You have to make sure you can handle the down and mortgage if he runs. This just makes my skin crawl. I think the man should be buying and making the mortgage. You should be helping, but not carrying the biggest burden. Too many "if's"involved... is a bad sign.
Good luck and God bless
2006-11-27 03:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are marrying his debt.
Try to keep money seperate with agreed bill responsibilities for each.
Your children are going to have to get along because you can't afford to give them the space to continue to not get along.TELL THEM THAT. They are teenagers and will be moving out in just a couple years way before a your mortgage is paid off. That is the goal with children to get them to be able to take care of them selves.
Do not buy a larger house than you can afford because the children are behaving badly. Do not jepordize your life savings banking on a relationship you are questioning.
2006-11-27 04:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by justpatagn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there have been so many women who have been scammed out of their life's savings....Here where I live, there is this man. He put on a front 3 times to get what he wanted.Layed on the charm, etc... The first woman he used, got him a car, the second, a jeep, the third, really got screwed. He got his jeep customized with a fabric top, got $, got the buisness that SHE paid for everything to open, he even got the building, which he lives in now.....Be very cautious before you let that smmmooooth talkin' gentleman take you for a financial ride of disaster!!! ( but he wouldn't do that, or he's not like that....BS, you hear about it all the time, its just like a "gold digger" woman; "Love is blind", till you get royally screwed, then its "oh I shouldn't have......" I wouldn't do it for nothing...kids don't get along too bad. They will get grown and move out anyway.....ruin YOUR life? I wouldn't do it!!!!!
2006-11-27 05:10:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a prenuptual agreement stating that the house and whatever else is yours- see a lawyer so you do not get taken- sounds like he is a spende and may try to spend what you have- make sure you can trust him- if you cannot trust him- end relationship now and save yourself the heartache-D
2006-11-27 03:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some self esteem and self respect! Let him buy a house next door, to your own house! Better yet, buy a house, with your money, for you and your children, and then have him buy a house close, but, not too close! And YOU NEED HIM???????????WHY?????????
2006-11-27 04:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by JUDI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a prenuptual agreement...
2006-11-27 03:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋