Would you divorce...?

Question

You and your spouse are banned from each other... a total real life Romeo and Juliet Scenario... seperated seemingly permanently... If it was impossible to do things correctly and the only alternative to divorce, and losing touch with your family, was to do things illegally? Would you? Or would you give up and just accept defeat, and divorce? Lick your wounds and move on for the benefit of each other, and the children? Why or Why not?

[reader's digest of another of my questions, I know...]

>If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

Nina... I am that man... and other men with Guns are keeping me from my wife... if it were only that simple...

Zookeeper... I understand God to a degree you cannoth fathom... this is out of God's hands... trust me on that one. If you would care to debate the fact, you can e-mail me, I'll teach you a thing or two about your God... ;)

So far... no one seems to actually answer the question... I don't need to pass it over... this is a genuine question of ethics... why is it so hard to answer things of this nature? Deflection anyone?

Answer 1

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Answer 2

If you love someone, then all barriers should be climbed. I would fight to the death for the man I loved, and my children. If a legal issue is at stake here - so be it! You are the only person that can make this decision, as you are the only one who actually knows what position you are in. If you for example are in a war torn region of the world, and your wife is out of your reach, then only you can make this choice. Live without her, or maybe not live at all!

If however your wife's situation would be better without you (and your children's too) then I guess sometimes we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of anothers. Then, you let her go and get on with your life as best you can.

Personally, I would fight to keep that which I loved, but as we do not live in a perfect world, this is not always possible. Good luck to you and your family in making your life changing decision! Know this - whichever decision you make, it WILL be the right one.

Answer 3

No...I would not divorce.

An admiration, devotion and love like this does not come around every day. Cherish the phone calls and emails, and letters right now and pray for the future.

I realize how grim this seems, and I realize I'm not one to talk...but my husband reminds me sometimes...all good things come to those who wait. Patience is a Virtue.

If there is any light at all, I believe it's worth fighting for. Love is never wasted.

I understand more than anyone your pain. And to leave the relationship for fear of enduring pain is selfish and will not benefit any circumstance.

Remeber the hike through the trails to end at amazing waterfalls. Those waterfalls made EVERYTHING scary and hard on that hike so worth the endurance.

It's so very difficult to live within these constraints, baby...if we can make it through this, there won't be a single thing in the future that we couldn't make it through. I am learning appreciation, and I would never EVER take you for granted.

You can tell me you would die for me, as I would for you....I don't need that, nor do I wish that. Live for me love, live for us, Live for God and under God. Be grateful for everyday we can wake up and feel the day. Be grateful for the lessons learned.

I love you so much, my beautiful God Send. I hate that you are so broken over this. I need you to be okay more than my need to keep you. But in answer to this question....Would you divorce? My answer is No. You are worth my pain. But even more important...You are worth my love times three.

Answer 4

I would turn it over to God, he will lead you in the right direction. It may not be what you want at the time but good always prevails in the end. What may seem bad will turn into good. There is a reason why every thing happens.