how do i leave him?3yr relationship?

Question

his been abusing me mentally,his changed from the time he got a job,his always angry,gives up easily, etc i have tried to talk bout it but he says there isnt any thing wrong its all in my head..we have a 1yr old child his suportive through he seems not ready for us to leave together, i feel am in his way and i want to let him be...but how? he says he loves me am not sure any more?

Answer 1

he is cheating on you.... he say he loves you because, he feels guilty.

Answer 2

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Answer 3

First, a child is not a reason to stay together,and if he's mentally abusive,the next step could be physical abuse-which would not be good for you or the child-and if he's convincing you that it's all in your head,and talking to him about it is not working,then there is a problem. No I don't think people should give up so easily,but at the end of the day only you know what's really happening to your life with this person-don't wait to long to change something.

Answer 4

OH boy!!!!! You sound like you're in a right pickle! Although I'm going to be blunt! Abuse be it mental or physical is wrong. Don't stand for it. He may not realise he's doing what he's doing - abusers often don't.

Unless you make the break things will never change - they will more than likely get worse!

You maybe thinking that having a child is stopping you from calling it a day with him. DON'T! Your child will either take on board what the father is doing to you and grow up to think this is an acceptable way to live and will either treat their partner like this or end up being treated like this themselves.

Often mental abusers make you think it's all in your head, they make you feel guilty, like it's all your fault it ISN'T!!!!

Try making the break - tell him you'd like to try a trial seperation, to see how you both feel being away from each other. During this seperation - DONT make contact - make HIM do the work. If he does love you he will contact you. But don't fall back into his arms too easily. He sees you as the one he can control - trying the trial seperation may make him feel insecure and be depserate to get you back - but make it on your terms if you do. Same with the trial seperation - YOUR TERMS - don't shut him out from seeing your child he has a right to see them. Just make it amicable and see how things go. If after the trial seperation you dont feel as though it's worth it or you've made your mind up as being happier without him. STICK TO IT, DO YOUR OWN THING! BE HAPPY!!!!

Answer 5

Its so easy for people that aren't in your shoes to tell you what you should, like "leave him" but not so easy when you still love him. Start by getting your self fixed. You only take mental abuse because you have a bad self esteem. If you need to talk to a professional counselor, then do so (quickly). If your not fixed then you will not be able to fix the relationship, and besides what matters the most is your baby, and it's well being, and beleave me that the babies well being comes directly from mom as a small infant. You are so important, you are so special, you are so needed by your child. Strength begets Strength, so get yourself strong. Remember this is his loss much more than yours, he loses the woman he commited his life to, one day the respect of the child you bore for him, because of his stupid actions. If you beleive he is cheating then I would be hesitant to have sex with him because of all the STD's today. Also ask him to go to couseling, it can only help. My thoughts and prays are with you.

Answer 6

Abuse is abuse but mental abuse i think might be the worst. Once they have you beat down it gets worse and it gets way hard to do anything about. How do u leave??? You either have the locks changed or you pack up your things and your Babbie's things and you remove them from the place u live, then u remove your and babbie as well. If you have no place to go there people and support groups and shelters that will help you do what u need to. Don't be a statistic. Stand up.

Answer 7

There will come a point when you will need to worry about your own happiness. relationships require a lot of work from both people otherwise they won't work. If he's not trying to make the relationship work then you may need to consider moving on. It won't be easy but ultimately it will be better for you and better for your child. Find someone that will love you and want to what it takes to make a relationship last.

Answer 8

first it would have been better if u said how long he's been working. if he got his job a month ago or less i would say its his job, maybe he is in the process of adjusting to his new job. but if he's bn working for 2 months or more ???? something fishy is going on. in this case, stay away from him and try to sort ur feelings for him. i see no point of living with a person who is torturing u mentally.

if u want to dump him and u think it will make u feel better, just tell him that you cant go on like that. best of luck

Answer 9

Asking a bunch of internet ghosts this question may not really help. IF you want to leave then the steps will be obvious to you no matter how painful the are. But do you want to leave? That your asking a question and saying your inlove with him means you want the situation to change. Go talk to a real person not "us on the net" Talk to him, decide and then act.

Answer 10

He should not mentally abuse you at all, there is no need for anyone to live in an abusive relationship, maybe you should have a break from each other, and try to work out where your relationship is going, give you time to think, its not healthy for your son is be in a home where there is unhappiness and arguments...........good luck sweetie and god bless,

Answer 11

I regret to say that I think you should leave him. If he is abusing you mentally than this is not a healthy relationship and is one you would not want to model for your child. IF you are concerned he might not give you up easily, please read the security expert Gavin deBecker's paperback book entitled "The Gift of Fear." It is an excellent book for women to read because it teaches women to pay attention to their intuition and how to handle situations that could get out of hand.