I've been with my man for 10 yrs..(married 5 of them). I started seeing this past ex that I dated in high school which was about 10 yrs ago. I really loved him but was stupid to leave him. I learned that all this time he has had my heart. So we starting seeing eachother but he is in a relationship with his chic going on 6 months. We have been together several times & he says he cares for me. He has never said that he loves me but he says that I was his 1st love. He was with his chic before the one he is dating for 10 yrs & have 4 kids. I ask him what he is doing with me when we do see eachother & he says he's not sure.He does think about me he says & cares for me.I tell him that he makes me happy & he is what I want.He says that he knows that I hurt when he leaves after us seeing eachother but he is in a relationship. I tell him my heart has been broken since I left him way back...So what should I do? What am I doing? I mean I'm not waiting but I would really love to be with him..?!?!
2006-11-26 18:43:39 · 17 answers · asked by Peaches 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No husband isn't around...he will be doing some time. Yes I love husband but he doesn't make me happy...Should you have someone that makes you happy?
2006-11-26 18:54:22 · update #1
I guess we need more thatn 1000 characters...I don't have kids....this past love of mine does..and I thought that he was happy with his ex chic that has his 4 children...i waited all the time..not sure why i waited so long...hubby & I been through alot & have cheated on eachother as in both of us...I want someone to make my happy & hubby doesn't...!!!
2006-11-26 19:01:19 · update #2
Yes have been living on my own for the past 10 months...hubby is locked up...Yes I might be hurting other people or family but hubby hasn't treated me so good these 10 yrs...finding the person that makes me happy & that has treated me right in the guy that i am seeing.
2006-11-26 19:06:23 · update #3
no, just a little, have fun
:> peace
.
2006-11-30 15:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not only are you an idiot but you sound very confused as well. You are the one who's married. Your ex isn't and even though he's in a relationship, you are the one with the commitment. The grass always seem greener on the other side, when you don't have to live with the other person 24/7. But you are the one who gave your vows to your husband and if you can't honor those vows for whatever reason then at least give your husband the dignity of knowing your intentions so that he can make a choice for himself whether that choice is to stay with you or not.
2006-11-26 18:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by jdhs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all good for you for finding a lost love --SHAME on you for having someone at home that loves you and you not having enough guts to call off the marriage and cheat instead--what are you thinking?? Put yourself in your husbands shoes--how do you think he is going to feel when he finds out and don't think he wont--what if it were you?? What you need to do is stop seeing this other man UNTIL you figure out if you want to keep or throw away your FAMILY--that's right its not all about you --you have children who love you and their father --and if you loved this guy way back when why did you ever break up?? Something wasn't perfect or you would have stayed together then--I think you had what you had then and now?? YOU have a family --that is where you belong--but if you think you really don't love your husband then you need to be honest with him and go thru a full fledged divorce BEFORE you run off to another man --your husband deserves to have the benefit of honesty
2006-11-26 18:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...your cheating. Not good. Your husband should divorce you. Your living a lie and hurting all sorts of people in the meantime, including yourself.
Yes, you should be happy. Happiness isn't always on the menu though. You really need to stop what you are doing and think about the life you have now and try to mend it....and be happy. Get some counseling.
If you are still unhappy, then try living on your own for a while without a man. See where your feelings are then when you are alone and no other influences to fog your head.
Don't allow yourself to get in confusing situations, it only gets worse. Try to make it better and think of what your life is going to be like not what it's like now. Emotions can wreck havoc in our heads.
Good luck and God bless
2006-11-26 19:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past love is using you for sex. He may have some feelings for you and he may even care a little bit, but when it all boils down he likes having a lover on the side. He enjoy the excitment of being with a past flame who is so pathetically devoted to him without ever having to make any effort. Really, the guy is a jerk. You can wait all you want, but even if he did leave to be with you, it wouldn't work out. You'll lose your exictment.
I think you should cut it off to save yourself from that kind of hurt and remember why you got married to your husband in the first place. You probably won't listen anyways.
2006-11-26 18:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
he has only been in his relationship for 6 months - it wouldn't be as hard for him to leave her as it would you. He is playing. So I take it your man now doesn't make you happy or there is distance right now for some reason - figure it out. Did your new guy's relationship before end because he cheated I am gonna guess and say yes................. if he cheated on her he will cheat on you get on a better level with your husband while you still can and if you have kids you have to think of their lives too
2006-11-26 18:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your missing the main point here! The guy your having an affair with isn't even married and he is still running BACK to his girlfriend, and telling YOU he is in a relationship! Get prepared for a rude awakening, from both your husband and guy friend. Because your going to get dumped by them both, sooner or later! The boyfriend is totally playing you, and your husband won't want a untrusted wife. Sorry!
2006-11-26 19:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all...yall both wrong for seeing each other because you're married and he has a girlfriend...(sigh)...i guess the best thing for you to do is sit and talk with your husband and you really need to think about what you're doing before you get caught. What you do will definitely come to the light. Hopefully you'll find out what it is you need to do before it's too late.
Good luck
2006-11-26 18:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get off the fence and stop thinking only of yourself. You are a married woman, did your vows mean so little that you would seek a relationship with someone else even befor you resolve the relationship your already in? Get real, better yet get honest, first with yourself then with your husband.
2006-11-26 18:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by Special Edition 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok..ummm..you're married? You called him your man...well I hear an awful lot about this"guy" you say your in love with. What about your "man"?I didn't hear much about him. Are you thinking of him or how he would feel?Obviously not if you hardly mentioned him. Trust me sweetie..someone's gonna find out sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.
2006-11-26 18:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by L.T. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a divorce ASAP .Your hubby will eventually appreciate you for doing so.I haven't once read anything about your relationship with him....I hope this guy uses and abuses you like you're doing your hubby.
2006-11-26 18:48:21 · answer #11 · answered by Direktor 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋