a week ago i found out that my husband was cheating on me, i decided to give him a second chance because i love him and i don't want him away from me or our kids. but , i don't know if i made the right decision because i feel that he is not 100% honest with me and that he might be thinking about this other women all the time.. i told him that he could go when ever he felt like it, cuz i don't want to keep him here if he doesn't love me no more..he wont leave and he tells me that he loves me but he doesn't show me that...am i doing the right thing or what should i do??.
2006-11-26 18:17:56 · 22 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
give him a second chance
:> peace
.
2006-11-30 15:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NENA- sweety, you are trying to keep your family together, and that is comendable! Just keep in mind that with this decision, u have agreed,( even without realizing it) to completely forgive him!Completely! That means never bringing it up when you are pissed off, or when he's a half an hour late. But, he has to EARN back the trust that you had in him! Trust, that he destroyed. It wont be the same for a long time, and if you feel that you will never trust him again? Well , you have to end this, right here, right now! If you dont, yourself, and your children are going to be misserable for years! They dont want that, and as there Mother you dont want it for them. Be real, will you trust him over time? And will he work to earn it? That's it! That's all you need to know and you have your answer! B kind to yourself and your kids and b happy, what ever u decide, make sure u r happy with it later! Good Luck!
2006-11-26 18:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by jenny H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say give each person one chance when it comes to cheating.
Of course he's thinking about her! He had sex with her! Would you be able to forget somebody who you'd had sex with, especially this recently? Think about it.
He's still there, and that's really saying something! Give him a chance. It might just be worth it.
He owes your children an apology, though, IF they know about the circumstance.
I suggest you do your loving and wifey things to him to show him that you love him and care for him and make love to him more than normal. Don't think it's your fault at all, he just CHOSE not to keep it in his pants and with just you! Sorry he doesn't respect his marriage vows. I hope he learns something and grows up.
You could read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husband's". That's an excellent book that will help the both of you a lot. Men are such simple creatures and it really doesn't take much to keep them happy. Not much at all! They require so little, yet women complicate it and then give almost nothing. So, don't hold yourself back now. Let him know exactly how you feel. BE HONEST AND OPEN with him and encourage him to do the same for you, and then take care of each other and your children.
That's the best advice I could give to you at this time.
I'm really sorry about this with him! good luck, hon.
2006-11-26 18:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My psychology teacher always tells us that if the person you marry isn't your best friend..then get out of dodge! What it means is if your husband can't be faithful..and honest to you then he's obviously having some problems with your marriage. Cheating just doesn't happen once..and go away. He will be faithful when he wants to. Maybe you should sit down with him and talk to him about what he did and why. If he can't talk to you about it then he's not being very honest with you. Saying "I love you" means NOTHING!!!! One moment he can say I love you..and the next moment be with another women. I understand you don't want your kids to be away from him...but if your hurting and ur marriage is hurting..then your children will eventually suffer as well. So maybe some marriage counsiling will help..
2006-11-26 18:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by luckychick123452006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, you are emotional, heartbroken and confused. Give it sometime. Do you work? If not, then make provisions to start working. Pray - prayer soothes the mind. Keep your mind occupied with other things for now. Get counseling if you can.
Then after a few days/weeks, when you are really ready to "think" and not "feel", decide what you think is best. Think about your kids first. Think about yourself. You will do what is right!
If you have decided to give him a second chance, do not doubt and do not speculate. Do not make yourself unhappy.
Lift yourself up and be strong.
Your love and forgiving nature are commendable!
Good luck!
2006-11-26 18:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by sadsmile 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all I can say is do what you think that is best ,but disregard the fact that the kids will suffer more than you if you stay in the mariage if you and the husband started fussing at each other. the well being of the kids are your first priorty if you work things out that is good but if it seems like your "going nowhere with this situation than maybe a divorce will be better in the long run, please do not keep those poor kids in more stress than they really need to be.
2006-11-26 18:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by sptech1994 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl i have been in your situation before and i took my boyfriend back...i felt like i made the wrong decision but on the other hand i believed in second chances...i think tha you actually made a good choice but dont jump to trust him that soon again...if you cant eventually gain your trust for him back then you need to get out of that relationship...not too soon though! remember there is no relationship if there is no trust...
2006-11-26 18:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by goodgirl_101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're not sure hire somebody your husband doesn't know just to follow him around for a few days and take pictures of what he is doing and that person will report back to you. if you see that he is still cheating on you then i think it's time for a divorce, take custody of kids and everything. unless you signed a prenuptual that is a different story. but take the kids, the money, and the house and let him at least have visitation like once a week for the kids.
2006-11-26 18:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember 1 is not the only number.....theres a 2 and a 3...once he do it the first time...his gonna go for the second and third....and since you gave a chance his going to think that you would give him the second and third...dont be a loser...and get on with your life with somebody that would respect you and love you.
2006-11-26 19:20:31 · answer #9 · answered by mabel20179 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a short time, watch his behavior, and show him your love, if you take a good responce, go on , but if after this time you do not see any change, you can take your final decision.
2006-11-26 18:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by rosa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please be careful. I took my cheating man back for the sake of the kids and b/c i loved him. He did it a 2nd time putting our family thru more hell. it took me 11 years to figure out that he was not going to change his ways. Be strong and do what's right for you and your kids. I am better now b/c i finally got the strength to leave. best wishes!!!
2006-11-26 18:24:12 · answer #11 · answered by jazzie0202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋