I have frequent fights with my wife..Please suggest?

Question

I have a frequent quarrel with my wife,she has different belives and opinion, i have different believe and opinion. She is short tempered and get irritate on so many small things.To cope up with this, I am not able to express my feelings properly, as she become aggresive and violent.What she says, i should not argue/discuss with her, when she is angry.So i need to pull the things back, and do as per her wish, later once she is in a good mood, i can tell her.I feel very bad for the same. I really want to stop day to day quarrel and suffering for both of us.I can't leave her,we can't go to any marriage councelor. Please suggest.

Answer 1

if she's blowing steam let her , don't say anything then when she cools down talk to her and get to the bottom of the issue . differences in opinions are normal as long as it doesn't hurt anybody , just respect the differences

Answer 2

1. Communication is key. Sit her down. Tell her how much you love her and that you would like to resolve issues. Ask her what it is that is bothering her. Sometimes, there are deeper issues that can cause even small issues to look huge!
2. Are you recently married? If not, have these issues stemmed now? Is it a love marriage or was it arranged? Did you not know each other?
3. Unlike poles attract! So difference in beliefs and opinions is not all bad! It can lead to lively discussion. You both may have different up-bringing.
4. Why insist on agreeing or changing the other person? If you don't agree or she doesn't, its ok to be different on petty issues. But be compatible where it matters. Talk to her.
5. If she is short tempered, then smile and let it be. Only when two hands clap will there be noise. Write her small love notes. Be romantic. Win her over. She is a woman. She is your wife. Your kindness and love will be greatly appreciated.
6. Be a giving and loving partner in every way and she will follow suit.
NEVER GO TO SLEEP FIGHTING. NOT WORTH IT!

Answer 3

Let me guess, it's always her issues that you argue about.... She is bullying to get her way.....You have to take the bait for it to turn into an argument....
She will continue because it works for her.....

1) Save it for the "Big Issues" if you can agree because it isn't worth the argument do it, but let her know exactly that.

2) Call the game, tell her you know she is using her temper and anger to get her way, threaten to do the same and give an example of one of your issues and how she would react to get her way.

3) Re affirm your commitment to the relationship and your desire to work past the differences, striving for a happier relationship, and pursue a commitment from her to do the same. ( That may be the real issue you do need to argue about) It takes two people working for the same goal.

4) Take notes on how her family deals with her behavior and what works and what doesn't when it comes to shutting her game down......

5) Violence and aggression are abusive and should not be tolerated. Let her know you will walk and discussion ended when she become "that way". Stop discussing the issue when she behaves that way and criticize her abusive action. Then walk away and let her cool down. Try to walk away a little before you normaly would.

Answer 4

If you know she's going to blow up any minute now just simply tell her that you will resume discussion when you're both level headed and leave her alone. Really now, how hard is it to discuss your differences like two mature adults? You are both acting out on emotions rather than logic and instead of letting your feelings get out of hand, recognize when you're both acting irrationally and cease the argument until you have both calmed down.

Most importantly, learn to compromise. You will not always agree on all things but you should strive to meet somewhere in the middle. Also, try not to argue about little things that don't really matter. It isn't worth the trouble.

Answer 5

Open and honest communication is key to a healthy marriage. You know I hate to say it but your wife is on to something if she says she needs to wait a little while before talking withyou regarding something. She may be real angry and say something that she will regret and you will not let go of. So...maybe put a time limit on the amount of time to go between her or you saying you are to angry /upset to talk about the topic of the quarrel and the time apart use to ponder over what made each other so upset. Discuss it a few hours later or after work say if it happened in the morning for example. Dont use terms like "i hate it when you dont pick up after yourself" try using "it really hurts me when i have to pick up so much around the house when I dont make the messes. I could really appreciate your extra effort or attention regarding housework that has been done by picking up after yourself" attacking words vs. owning words. the first sentence structure could put someone on the immediate defense the second might put someone on a more open less defensive approach to the conversation at hand. if you are bad at communicating verbally try writing letters to each other but reading them with each other. so that you can explain your thoughts and less likely to put attacks on paper either. just keep communicating openly and honestly, that is my best advice and marriage takes lots of work. its not easy but it is worth it. just be open with each other and honest.

Answer 6

Gee let me guess, was this an arranged marriage? And the reason you cant go to a counseler wouldnt be due to the fact that you live in a backward country where people arent supposed to admit that their marriages are less than perfect? Your wife is out of control and needs therapy, you either get counseling or live with this issue until you develop health problems.

Answer 7

Is the quarrel about money. It always is. Communication is the key. It is hard to talk when ones angry but to solve problems, one must be able to express. Learn to come up with solutions together for a start. If you are unable to solve it, then ask for help from someone close. It helps. Good luck!

Answer 8

I can understand ur frustrations.. take break from daily life ,you can try this in very special moment between u and ur wife.. tell her u dont feel good after a fight with her and say ok we promise we will not fight.. if u tell her she fights, matter will only get worse,
tell her due to ur work pressure u sometimes reply bac but feel very bad whole day , its all ruining ur work ability, ask her to help u and tell her to understand u! giv her little more attention, small surprises and things will show impovement . ( if theres love between u and nothing major conflits there, this sure gonna work) . good luck.

Answer 9

If you can't go to counseling, go the a clergy or get some books that you can both read. She has to be willing to "give and take" and sounds like she is being 1-sided.

Answer 10

This is horrible! I hope that you don't have children because this sounds exactly like my parents and I hate them...together. Whe are people going to learn to get over that physical attraction and lust and figure out that opposites shouldn't be married. Sorry, dude.