Long Distance Relationship...?

Question

I've just embarked on an LDR with this wonderful girl...two weeks strong so far... I'm just curious... She lives 3 hours away... This is my first time in an LDR, and I want to hear some expiriences, good and bad, and what is your view on LDR's...

Answer 1

I absolutely HATE LDR's. They are inconvenient, torturous & paiinful when u really really really care for the person u r with. And i swore to myself that i would never ever be in another one again after my first one fell to pieces due to her cheating on me. (guess i wasnt close enought o give her what she needed)
BUT.....in feb of 2005 i met this woman (introduced by a mutual friend).....intelligent, funny as hell, similar interests, and gorgeous beyond belief......and 3000 miles away. Not 3hrs. At least thats driveable. She was THREE DAYS away from me. Opposite coasts. But we fell in love with eachother & couldnt even bare the thought of not being linked in a relationship. Sooo....i jumped into the deep end of the LDR pool (i was scared s.hitless) but guess what???? I floated. And we are still floating. We remained long distance for the 1st 9 months. After that, she moved out to Cali to be with me and we've benn together ever since. But those 1st 9 were extremely hard but ONLY because we missed eachother so much & craved to be in eachothers presence. There was no cheating, no lack of trust, no lies, none of that. We were truly meant to be together and the distance was just a test of that strength. It really just depends on who you are trying the Long Distance Relationship with. If both of u are TRULY COMMITTED to eachother, it can & will work. If not.....DONT DO IT! It will only be a waste of time & unnecessary pain & drama.

Answer 2

LDRs are a challenge, but then so is any relationship. You have to work harder, because not actually seeing someone or being with someone for long periods of time can have a real emotional strain on a relationship. However by making this effort sometimes you talk about things you don't normally talk about and you find things out about each other, because there is less distractions! People who say LDRs don't work are making sweeping generalisations - LDRs work if you both want them to. So, Good Luck!

Answer 3

LDR can be a very good way of finding out what you want to know about the person due to long phone conversations and a general interest in getting to know one another mentally rather than focusing on the physical aspect. The bad side to these sort of relationships is that so much time is spent apart, that when you get together for visits, fights can erupt due to the frustration of being so far apart. LDR is a double sided blade!

Answer 4

I am not totally against LDR, whatever works for you, do it. But for me personally I am against it. The purpose of having a relationship is to get to know each other well before taking the plunge (marriage). Some would even try to live together. I would like to see the "bad" side of my partner. Is he/she a ******? does he/she has a bad temper? does he/she clean up things? some hidden fetish? From these things, you can then gauge if you are capable of dealing with his/her imperfections. Now if you are in an LDR it is quite difficult to know these things unless you really find time to be together like in a long vacation. Also there is an issue of intimacy. A hug or a kiss especially when one really needs it (like someone to cry on when you have problems) is very important. Sending an email with a smiley face would not be of help. And then finally, if you both decide to take the plunge, who will move where? Who will sacrifice his job or home for the other? I know I am think way ahead but sooner or later you both have to decide on it.

Answer 5

I was in a relationship before. We were together for 1 year and 5 months and going strong before I left the country. The relationship lasted for just a month after I left. Apparently my then significant other longed for attention and loving that I couldn't give by being so far away, and ended up getting it from someone else. Quoted "No matter what you do or say, I still can't feel whatever it is that you want me to feel" in other words, even if I said I love you, that person still won't feel it. We used to have so much trust in each other and we believed that we would make it. But it only took a month for things to drastically change. Distance is such a huge factor and it might not seem like a big issue for now but eventually it will be. But hey, that's only 3 hours and you're still in the same continent, so just imagine your situation is 2/3's better than mine :) Goodluck to you!

Answer 6

You can't have a real relationship without seeing, being with the other person. Remember, infatuation lasts a couple of years, even when you're seeing someone during that time. That's the period when everyone is on their best behavior, after which they start showing who they really are. If you're having an LDR, think of it as being pen or phone pals.

Answer 7

Wow , hey chill! its cool! it really is. My bf and i are staying about the same distance as both of you does! ..3-4 hours of driving. We met online and Gawd he's so perfect than those whos closer to home. This all doesn't depend on distance . it depends on the people themselves. You must have the trust and you must have the patience..we've been with each other for more than a year now and everyday we grow more and more inlove with each other..if you really love her, try it. My bf would drive down here for like few times in a month

You may not meet each other much but once you guys does..it'll feel So bloody great! Don't take it as tough ,everything is tough. Try to enjoy it. Yeah we fight alot but those only make us stronger (fight and negotiate). D bad thing is "? Your phone bill will rise up :p

Answer 8

It's tough.. But if you both are very into each other and can trust each other.. than it will work for the short term but making a few plans to move closer within a few months or once you know it is for sure what you want. Make sure before hand you know each other and spend enough time equally making the trip back and forth or whatnot.. As with any relationship it's a two way street..

Answer 9

I dont think of all of us needs to have an prolonged distance dating. existence occurs and gets interior the way, you basically could artwork around it. If somebody needs to be with their long distance BF or GF adequate/or they love them adequate, they are going to circulate to the place the different individual is and end the long distance element. those people who've relationships over the internet or out of state "basically because of the fact" are probable dropping their time. long distance relationships wont final if there isnt dedication.

Answer 10

I found LDR's really hard to hold onto...because there was too much time that I was without that person....I'm talking real long distance relationships though..maybe 36 hr driving.