So my hbby had affair before our wedding and didn't tell me about it till I found the love letters from his closet. He said it was past so you should forget about it I tried and tried and succeded in some point, But I caught them talking over phone last march 2 o' clock in morning I was pregnant then He asked him about it he faught with me why I was listening to their talking. And said I have nothing to do with it. I told my mom-in-law and she said I am wrong not his kid. What should I do. He seems fine with meBut How I can stand that he still have his x girlfring in his life
2006-11-26 17:41:45 · 17 answers · asked by ishu s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Normally Indian males do tend to be loyal, but when tempted and find an opening do succumb to. The best course of action can be to approach the ex and tell her straight what you think of her and try to find out if she hereself is married and if true, things can be sorted out amicably.
The point of worry is that your hubby is doing it in a clandestine way. Since your mother-in-law does not seem to be interested in your problem, you would have to seek help from other sources, like your old friends, classmates and your parents.
But first thing first, you must ask your hubby and tell your view point and if at all he wishes to continue the relationship, tell him to be open and straight. Invite that ex to a dinner party in your house try to sort it out.
2006-11-26 19:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find a man that is as crazy about you,as you are him.That is how you can stand the fact your hubby has ex girl friend in his life.Your hubby Lie's to you, cheats on you,Has no respect for you,does not care if he is hurting you.I'm not saying your hubby does not love you, but I'm saying a good and decent man would not treat his wife like you describe, even if he no longer loved his wife.What in the world would make you love this man enough to care ?Love or Not decent men with any morals at all would not treat a wife in such a way.If there is anyway you can let this ex girlfriend take the burden of having this type of hubby in your life then by all means Thank her,and next time don't settle for a man that would treat a woman in such a way.
2006-11-26 18:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just read your text and wish to make my contribution. There is an old saying that goes. "marriage is not a bed of roses" I have been married for 30 years and I can tell you that there is a long distance between courtship and marriage. The fact is that two different people from different background coming together as one has many challenges. Was he possessive when you were dating? How would he not want you to love you parents? What do you mean by dominate? What starts the beating? One thing experience has taugt me is that most of these characters might have been part of him but you did nothing about them thinking that once he become yours he will change or you can help change him, unfortunately things are just unfolding and I feel we should look for solution not divorce.
2016-05-23 08:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hai Ishu,
I am married too and i perfectly understand ur state of mind. Why dont you try and find out that gf's number and at a right time call her up and mention how much this whole thing is affecting u. Y didn't ur husband marry that girl in the first place??? If he didn't have enough guts then, how come he have guts now???? Its all because traditionally we indian wives seem to be more for giving and tolerant coz we have many things to think about ,like not disappointing our parents, our children ,and most of all society!!!but at this point of ur life only u can do something.Forget what others think...its ur life!!! DONT TALK TO HIM, WARN HIM !!!! that u will not tolerate these things.i think itshis curiousty to know all about her. He will patch up with u ....dont worry.
2006-11-27 06:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by simply magic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dear,
I am really sorry but you need to keep a check on your husband and if possible that ex of his too. If you can getsome proof about them it will help you. Weather they are just friends or something more. Ask a friend of yours to keep a tap on him. You have to be strong cause you have a baby to take care of too.. It might be that they are just friends and nothing more but in case they are not you have to be prepared for your next action. What will you do about it will you accept it or will you divorce him or will you get your hubby back from this women. But in whichever case you have to have proof. Only than you can prove your self in front of your mom in law/court and take the help of your parents.
Be prepared girl. And take care
Good Luck & God Bless
2006-11-26 18:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by Blueberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey...it is not good to ur child who is growing within u. I think u must win ur inlaw's support. Possible, get evidence and keep them in secret place.
But try and understand that You must win a man's heart emotionally...not by demand. Now u can be hard enough to him and take care of ur child the way u want hm/her to bringup.
2006-11-26 18:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by SureshkumarYVS from hyderabad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AND you're pregnant w/ his child? I'm sorry to hear that. Your husband sounds really unreasonable...and I have a feeling that he's not going to stop talking to his ex-girlfriend either.
The only thing I can think of is that you two should seek counseling together.
2006-11-26 17:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by star_puk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does typical indian's get divorced? He will if not already met up with his ex.He will continue to do so.Of course its your fault so says mom in law. If there is anyway to get out of this'marriage" do it.Good Luck!!
2006-11-26 17:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by Joan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello ishu s,
I'm not sure of your culture, but isn't divorce legal in your country? If you do not trust your husband, then why don't you divorce him and find a man who will treat you better and who you can trust.
Again, I am not familiar with your culture, ishu s. I hope that you can be happy and enjoy your life.
--Rick
2006-11-26 17:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ys what u said i agree.Listen try to explain your feelings to him say that you respect him and now its time for him to move on from that situation.And now you are going to have a child be careful if u r in depression that hav an impression on ur child.Meet the family councellors they will help you.Good luck my dear frnd.May God Bless You with a cutest child,health,peace and wealth.bye
2006-11-26 18:08:17 · answer #10 · answered by lekha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋