i recently posted a question about what i should do about a certain eating establishment that my gf and i visited the other night i was dressed as michaela ( i am very passable) we got to the place were seated and the waitres came to take our order we ordered our drinks, and within two minutes we were being asked to leave by the manager, he said taht if we did not go he would call the police, i was so embarrased i wanted to cry right there, the only thing that stopped me was i was more angry than hurt. needless to say to avoid any bigger scene than was already being made we left, my gf still thinks i should consult an attorney over the matter. i cant understand why they were so rude we were minding our own buisness just intent on having a quiet night out i know nobody in the place knew i was not a "real woman" no one even gave us a second look when we entered so it had to be the waitress ( i do not have a very fem voice) she must have realized that i was not a "real" girl when i spoke
2006-11-26 17:41:28 · 13 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
wtf why does the worl have to be so hateful i was doing no one any harm and i feel like i was treated like a second class citizen. i know a lot of you are saying why is she still whining aboutt this, but im mad as hell and really hurt that people can be so mean
2006-11-26 17:42:48 · update #1
for clarity in case it not crystal to anyone out there i am a crossdresser
2006-11-26 17:46:52 · update #2
I would think that it would be illegal to do that to you. It is a form of discrimination. I would definately contact an attorney, and at least see what they have to say. Then if you have many crossdressing friends, I would have a huge gathering at that very resturant, and order the cheapest thing on the menu and drink only water. I know that, this doesn't exactly advance our cause of being accepted in society, but it sure would be fun. Unfortunattely there are bigots out there, and we have to deal with them cause we are different, but that doesn't make us any less human. I wish you luck in whatever you decide, you have more courage than many of us.
2006-11-27 13:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by JML 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off let me say that what they did was a petty, small minded and mean thing to do, and I'm not a lawyer but it's not illegal for restaurants to kick out people. I've worked in restaurants for years, and all most all of them have signs or policies saying they can refuse service for any reason they see fit, they don't usually use this policy but it is there and perfectly legal. The police couldn't arrest you for anything, unless you had actually done something, I'm sure they just said that to make you leave quicker. They could have called the police and had them escort you out (I've seen this done a few times for very unruly customers, you see some crazy things on the swing shift) but they couldn't arrest you.
They're just small minded a holes. If it is a chain or a company owned restaurant you can call and complain and someone might actually help you or give you some comps but if it is a small or family run place, they can do as they like, it's not illegal to be an a hole after all.
2006-11-27 01:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by thoor_ballylee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To begin with, the owner or manager of the establishment should be required to give you the REASON you were asked to leave. If you weren't doing anything that would be out of line or creating a disturbance, I see no just cause for their actions. And while it's true that they probably could have called the police and had them escort you out of the premises, what reason could they supply as to what offence you had committed that justified such an action? I think it would be a pretty good idea to call this business and explain to them what happened on the night in question (to refresh their memory) and ask for the reason they took the actions they did. Listen carefully to exactly what they have to say and when they've supplied you with an answer, tell them you needed to know so you could advise the proper people. My guess is that without knowing who these proper people actually are, they may try to make amends. Crossdressing is not illegal in most places unless it is done to conceal one's identity during the commission of a crime of some sort. Others replying to your post have suggested that the matter be referred to someone in the GLBT community for publication in some of their periodicals. This might be something you would want to explore further, but proceed with caution and be sure that what might be published, such as the name and location of the establishment, as well as the details of the incident are completely accurate.
2006-11-27 21:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by senorita_cd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the waitress detected that you were a man trying to pass yourself off as a woman, then I believe she may have been acting in the best interests of the female patrons who would not want a man in the women's restroom, or vice versa. You sound like a reasonable guy so I think you can understand her concern. You might want to look at this from her perspective. For all she knew, you may have been a perverted individual who wanted a cheap thrill by watching women from inside their restroom. I don't think you should consult an attorney because I think you may lose the case based on this point and therefore you will have wasted your money. I feel your best bet is to find places which are more alternate lifestyle-friendly. I hope this helps. Good luck in the future.
2006-11-27 01:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Talk to Lambda Legal and the ACLU, they'll be able to answer your questions and take legal action if necessary.
A simple phone call or email and they should be able to give you some answers as to whether you have a case or not.
Dinner is irrelevant, this is more about your right to be treated as an equal human being no matter where you are or what you look like.
best of luck.
2006-11-27 02:04:50 · answer #5 · answered by kate m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That was pretty harsh what happend to you and your girlfriend at that restaurant. Did the manager give you a reason? I have to agree with your girlfriend that you should consult a attorney because that can be construed as discrimination I guess based on sexual orientation (?) and you can have grounds for a lawsuit.
2006-11-27 02:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that legally a restaurant can refuse you service for those reasons....But I can understand why you chose to leave......At the very least I would write to as many GLBT publications etc and tell them your story..so that the community knows which businesses to avoid...and I would be 100% on your side if you took legal action....
2006-11-27 01:47:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should sue otherwise they will keep treating others like you the same way. Stand up for yourself. Just because you don't fit the moral majoric mold doesn't mean that you have no voice or no rights.
You might want to put up their name so that I can help you boycott them. ; D
2006-11-27 01:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by miss_ursie_la 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do is your business, no one else's
the place that asked you to leave, in my opinion were out of line
and should be reprimanded
best wishes
hope this will not happen to you again.
be yourself..however you choose!!.
2006-11-27 02:00:07 · answer #9 · answered by Bren 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call Gloria Allred. Get her on their asses.
2006-11-27 03:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋