Would most Filipino parents accept a bf 30 years older then their daughter?

Question

I love a girl very much and she has said no, but it seems to be common there for older americans to marry much younger women.

Obviousally this question is for Filipinos only. IF your going to be judgemental and nasty please keep your opionions to yourself. They aren't needed.

Answer 1

Yes it is a common sight but is it really love? I am not sure. Probably decades ago it was more of love but now it is more of economic reasons. Most of these women basically sacrifice their dignity just to get out of the Philippines and have a better life. And if you marry these women, you are basically marrying the entire family and even the clan. Filipinos are family oriented. Most Filipinos working abroad are basically supporting their entire family, from the education of their brothers and sisters, to their parents small business and sometimes vices. Cousins and other relatives would even seek help from them for finances.

Most parents from poor family would easily agree to their daughters choice, even though they are uncomfortable with it but if the girl is in a middle class family, some parents will resist. There is already a case here in my hometown where the girl who is a known personality was ostracized by his father. During her wedding her father, mother and some of her sisters did not attend the wedding, to the despair of the bride. I am not sure with other places in the Philippines but in my hometown people would probably glance at you and before you know it people are talking behind your backs. Filipinos are generally hospitable but it has limitations.

Anyway I hope you find the right girl.

Answer 2

It really depends on the family and their attitudes and needs. Often you will find this kind of age difference the result of a family's need to secure a future for themselves by allowing the daughter to go into a May-December marriage because the likely future in the Philippines is so dismal. However, if she is from a more affluent family that has its own means for securing a future for its members, they may question the motives of the foreigner and the lady may not wish to be attached in a May-December relationship. I know we all think love will conquor all but life together goes years and years, the romance either becomes a close bond of friendship and common interests or it dies. Desperation by some families and women does not mean that it is socially acceptable. Most of the "girls" you see in the "relationships" you mention that span in excess of 20 years are very desperate women seeking a life better than what is in the Philippines. They accept the man to escape the hard life with no future and return the respect to their husband for saving them from that life whether they are a maid, bar girl, or poor province girl. However, those types or relationships are the ones most likely not to suceed because these are thinking rational individuals and once they know they can make it on their own and have a future with or without you, much of the motivation to stay in a May-December relationship disappears. That results in another broken family because she will have two or three kids by then. Please realize that modest income for a westerner is huge income in the Philippines, but they learn rapidly and that goes away in just a few years.
Just think how you would feel if it were your daughter and what motives necessary to make it a favorable situation instead of something to be put up with. After all, you are promising what? Being a widow at a young age? A life of caring for a senior citizen when she is still very active. And what do you think will happen when you are 70 and she is only 40? Will she be ready to live the life of a senior? It may be fine when you are 50 and she is 20, but the future is a nasty nasty road. I am in a marriage that spans 15 years and that is just about the max but we do know of some sucessful ones at 20 year differences, but 30 is really maxing it out, but not impossible. Just the same, people look at us contantly because of our age difference, and in the Philippines people assume my wife was a bar girl who found her sugar daddy. That is not our case at all, but that is what others think when they first see us together and my wife is 45 years old. What scrutiny do you think your young lady would be under? Would not the average bystander assume she married for money, and that she is of low enough character to do such a thing. That is a tremendous burden to put on her for the rest of her life. And you say relationship and not even marriage, makes me think.
Respectfully,
Marvin (Rosemarie's husband of 12 yrs. but we are old already and very happy.)

Answer 3

I visit the Philippines three times a year and see older men with younger women all the time.Most women want a good life and to take care of family first,since this girl does not want you move on! You did not give your age and where you would live if it was in the P.I. then it would'nt be much of a problem but in the USA you would have people asking if they can take your daughter out, and you would have to explain why shes your WIFE.

Answer 4

well i have to lay it straight. most pinoy parents will not accept it but some will under these circumstances:


-if the girl and boy had a wedding without knowledge of the parents and now she is pregnant

-if the girl is an actress or the guy is a politician (not joking!)

-if the guy relieves the family of financial struggles

-if the situation will help the family rise from debt

i am not kidding here. i am filipino and have been living in the phils for 16 years.

Answer 5

not only to the americans but to any race as long as this men have money. Although not all filipino parents would want their daughters marry for money, those who do so would even approve of it even if she be married to the devil as long as they benefit materially.
Decades ago, parents would like to see their daughters get courted by man of any age as long as they get along well, the man is kind, employed, law abiding citizen, be a responsible father and other good qualities. But gone are this principle, most will like their daughters to marry someone rich , even if he is crooked. I think this is not only in the philippines but worldwide now.
If you want to know if a girl really loves you, proclaim you got limited sources of income, bankruft if you're in business, etc.Haven't you encountered in grade school the story of a prince who seeks true love by disguishing himself as an ordinary commoner.?

Answer 6

In general I would say a resounding NO! the exception is if the husband to be has a very good job. (oh, and being Catholic might help too) Filipino parents are very protective of their daughters and want to know that they will be very well cared for.

Answer 7

i'm a filipino! and you know what? there are conditions to be met. trust me, okay?
first, the girl's family has to be on the poverty line got it? then you must be able to sustain her family at least USD200 monthly as you are expected to do so. but you must not be frank about it. just trust me, it'll work. a lot of filipinas are married to foreigners way too old than them. and it's no big deal to the parents because they see the foreigner as their "messiah" to rescue them from poverty. trust me

Answer 8

To each their own ideas I guess
I have seen many former US soldiers bringing back Philipino wives much younger than themselves.. My neighbor for one is about 20years older than his Philipina wife.. Whatever works I guess..
maybe a philipina family might accept the situation if it brings prosperity to themselves and their daughter..

Answer 9

I'm sorry to have to say this but it's true for the majority of filipinas who marry foreigners. All they want is money and to escape the hard life in the Philippines.

Answer 10

well, it all depends on the person, the parents cannot force their children to marry a guy if she does not love him.. regardless of age..

maybe some parents agree just so the family will be spared from poverty..