I have a social phobia and I don't mix well with people. How can I overcome this?

Question

I can't minge with other people because of my conversation skills.
Sometimes I can't get out what I want to say and that makes me
withdraw from all people including family. I am a loner and that is
so sad. I don't feel sorry for my self, but when I have a panic attack
I totally withdraw in an effort to control my anxiety and also to keep people from seeing my symptoms. I shake, tremble, and get very
uncomfortable and insecure. I was not always like this. Most of the
time when this happens people laugh and call me names. I don't know how to response or defend myself. If I did, I know that I would be more functionable.

Answer 1

It's a horrible feeling isn't it. Like you're helpless. The more they laugh the worse it gets. You avoid going to parties. You avoid going to dinners. All that stuff.
Listen up. Many many many people have this problem.
Some never seek help and suffer their whole lives. I'm pretty sure you don't want that. They have wonder drugs these days that will help you tremendously. In time you can wean yourself off the medication. It sounds like you need the help right now though. It's not embarrassing at all to seek a doctors help. That's why he went to medical school. To help people. They're so used to seeing people with anxiety it's a daily event. One visit to the doc. and you'll have your help. =)

Answer 2

I experience similar issues. It's full of vicious cycles; For example, feeling awkward, seeming awkward, getting awkward responses, feeling awkward. or Feeling shy/unaccepted, withdrawing from people, being estranged, feeling even more unaccepted, withdrawing from people...
Haha. It can be frustrating.

Good news is a counselor or psychologist can help you, and cognitive behavioral therapy has been found to give some relief. They can teach you better social skills, relaxation techniques, ways of thinking to get your confidence in a group, etc.

"Bad" news is that you'll probably experience this tendency, in a milder form, for most of your life. However, it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It's still you. Cherish the deeper relationships you have with the few people you feel safe with. Enjoy your privacy. Enjoy your self and love what you have.

Then go out of yourself once in a while, speak up, open up (impulsively, so you don't have a chance to hesitate) and enjoy the results.

Rejection should become tolerable when we've experienced it so often. Haha.

By the way, I don't recommend medications.
Drugs are expensive, they ALWAYS have unpleasant side effects and health risks, and their effects only last while you're taking them. Psychological treatment may work more gradually, but they last longer.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It is very common, many people suffer the same from one degree or another.

I know exactly how you feel about not being about to get words out, your mind just goes blank when in a group.

Other then counselling etc I would suggest you find something you enjoy a sport or a hobby and join a group, gradually try to befriend someone in the group.

Otherwise you must have one friend or someone you can talk to, go out with them, relax it doesn't matter what other people think of you. Once you are more comfortable invite someone else along....gradually build up until you are happy with more people.

It wiull take time and it is difficult but you will get there, have confidence in yourself.

Good Luck

Answer 4

I was the same way but i have gotten better, i learned that we are all different and that is what makes us unique. If the people you are around were your friends they would not laugh at you they would try to help you become a social butterfly. I suggest that you listen more and you will realize that most things people say in conversation is just a bunch of jibberish, when you stop thinking about what people think and say about you, you will not get nervous at all, Read amongst yourself out loud and talk more to people who will not judge you,find out what it is you do not like about your conversation and change it. MOST OF ALL STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO THINKS THAT THIS IS A JOKE, IT CAN AFFECT A PERSON THEIR WHOLE LIFE. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

A lot more common than you think. Many tom cruises are against it, but medication worked for me in the beginning of my phobia and counseling got me to a better place that I'm at now without meds. I think the meds out there are not harsh, they can help you.

Answer 6

You should really consider seeing a doctor to help you with this. I have had a problem similar to this my whole life. I take Lexapro andit has helped me a lot. Seeing a therapist might help too I just prefer not to. Also joining some sort of interest group to make friends would be helpful too. Like a club or church organization.

Answer 7

Contact the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill and attend their support group for this problem, make some friends like yourself, and socialize at the center with them. They have a library so you can read books about young people who can cope with these disorders. Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

I believe it is more of your character. You always need to take the first step in order to minge with the others. You must not be afraid of failing in the first place coz as time grows by you should be able to mixed with others gradually.
I used to behave in such manner previously but I gradually take the first step and interact with others so that I can minge with them. it is tough initially but I get used to it as time goes by. So hope it can be of some use to you

Answer 9

i can understand how you feel.well to be true, i was going thru this myself. but i assure you that it is possible to overcome it. just have confidence. search the web on tips to increase your self esteem. mingle with friends and try to take interest in social affairs. try and meditate to keep yourself calm and composed in times of panic. take the help of a trusted friend who will help you in trouble.go to social gatherings and parties even if you find it difficult to mingle with the crowd. have patience.you will be alright.don`t hesitate to take professional help.

Answer 10

Hey, check out this site:

http://www.cureanxietydisorder.com

It has information that you help you understand panic attacks better - causes, symptoms, treatment, etc.

Also, you can check out this site:

http://www.cureanxietydisorder.com/cure.html

It has helped many people stop panic/anxiety attacks....

All the best...