How do you stop a wife that plays video games 8 hours straight?

Question

...I am frustrated. She doesn't have a job, is not motivated to walk our dog, and either sleeps until the afternoon or takes several naps during the day. She pitches in with the dishes and laundry sometimes, but there are times I see piles of clothes and dishes and she doesn't even lift a finger.

I work a full 40-hour week and I freelance an additional 3 hours every night. I just get upset that she's just wasting electricity when I'm paying for it and not trying to be productive. Yes, she has applied for jobs and is getting interviews, but there is nothing biting yet.

When I try to politely ask her to think of the electricity when she plays these marathon sessions, she tells me, "You cannot tell me what to do. I am an adult." I don't want to control her, I just want her to be more considerate.

Please help me!!

Answer 1

I hate to say it but I have been where she is. I know what she is doing. She is escaping. Video games are the only things she can control right now. She is just as frustrated as you are.Perhaps she didn't sign up to be your house lady or your laundry mat. Maybe she had hopes of being someone or something other than that and unfortunately your complaints are only making things worse. You need to help her recognize her situation and discover what it is she really needs and wants. Part of that may mean she needs some time away from her current situation, time away from the games. You can't impose this time away you can only suggest it. This type of behaviour is definately a sign of unhappiness and a sign she needs to do some changing but I fear, like me, she will have to fall hard to know this. It took some serious life changes to teach me and I hope for her it won't be this way. The best you can do is be as loving and supportive and non-judgemental as possible.

Answer 2

You know, I hate to say it this way ... but she IS an adult ... and as an Adult ... she MUST start accepting her Adult Responsibilities - - and NO responsible adult I know of ever plays video games for 8 hours a day and nothing else!

SO ... the question for you is this -- do you WANT to keep putting up with this situation?

She sounds like she is Depressed or has some mental health issues that needs treatment -- give her the opportunity to get the treatment -- and if she does NOT Want to go -- you can NOT force her to ...

then you need to start reflecting on this and how it is affecting you in the marriage -- because it seems to me that the Marriage is very one-sided -- and no relationship can survive when it is one-sided and only one person is contributing to keeping it together.

So ... think about your options here -- and do encourage her to get some counseling (and some marital counseling too while you are at it). IF she does NOT want to get into treatment or go to marital counseling ... then you need to choose:

Whether to go your own separate way, or to try to stick it out.

Answer 3

Put some peanutbutter on the game and let the dog go at it. Then when she wants a new game tell her that she has to earn it back by cleaning up the house, do the laundry, make the meals, etc.

Or you can take the video game system whenever you leave. Since she is sleeping it will be easy.


IF she is going to act like a kid then treat her like one.

Answer 4

Maybe she's depressed? Maybe she needs some attention from you or some time with a counselor to help her get motivated. She might like confidence to get a job. Some people go so long without one that they forget they're capable. I doubt the electricity from the game she's playing is costing you that much, if that's what you're worried about. Is that really the issue that's bothering you most? It sounds like the two of you need to have a serious discussion.

Answer 5

I'm sorry life seems so tough right now for you ... have you been wondering why she is stuck in "fantasy" and escaping reality. This is not normal behavior. She is probably depressed and has no vision or even a glimpse of hope. Try talking it out with her.. don't use the words snap out of it or get over it.. those words usually just make them more upset... try to see if she wants to spend maybe 1hour out of the house.. then progress like over a period of 2months.... I know you have a lot on your plate right now but is seems like she does as well. Your tough and things are clearer for you... sounds like she's in such a deep dark hole that she can't see the light on her own and may need some help. Key word HELP. :) good luck

Answer 6

Tough spot. SHe has to want to do these things. Put her in charge of the laundry and you will be in charge of dinner. Give her the title to live up to. She likes games obviously. Try to be creative and turn this into a game for the two of you. Give her money to pay all the bills. Let her write the checks to get an idea of what is going where and how much. BEst of luck

Answer 7

Take the system and games and hide them somewhere. Put them in your car when you go to work. Then tell her, that when she gets a job and/or helps A LOT more around the house she can have the video games back

Answer 8

I know this sounds like a cop out but buddy I'm tellin ya - the woman is DEPRESSED. Adults don't act like kids when all is normal. Take her to a doc. She either needs a pill or a few therapy sessions.

Answer 9

Wow I would be frustrated too. My ex was like that and it never got better. She needs to understand how you feel. I hope it gets better for you. But if not you need to tell yourself am I going to keep putting up with this or not.

Answer 10

Perhaps she's addicted? You should probably take the game machine and games away. Give them to a friend, donate them, sell 'em on ebay, etc.