I know you all probably not gonna like what I will ask, but please be as open-minded as possible. I know what I have been doing is wrong.
The thing is that: I have been with my current boyfriend for 4 years now and things have been going really good between us. But a while ago, there is this guy at work who has shown me how much he likes me and all. We have flirted a lot--hugs and kisses and all (but no sex!) I really like this guy too, but as much as I know, I do not want anything further with him. I just like the attention he gives me and all the excitement in general. Before you judge me, I know I love my BF, but my problem is, even though I love him, I also love this new stuff the new guy brings into my life. I feel really bad about kissing other guys besides my BF, so don't get me wrong. My boyfriend doesn't know this yet, and I feel extremely bad about it. What am I supposed to do? I mean seriously, I don't want to leave my BF for some excitement.
2006-11-26 16:24:27 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am extremely confused! I love the flirting feelings me and the new guy have. It's been a while since I actually really flirt with someone. I am normally not a flirty type, but in this case, I feel that I've turned into someone I hate.
2006-11-26 16:25:52 · update #1
Look your not cheating. Not yet at least. Seems to me like you want to cheat. If you have thought about doing something with this guy then you are not in love with your boyfriend. You love him but your not in love with him. It may be that you are used to him. Only you know that. But let me tell you if you have these feeling for this other guy then you might want to ask yourself how much you love your boyfriend and is it worth it to lose your love. Remember you don't know what you have until you lose it.
If you do cheat or plan to cheat maybe you should brake up with your bf before you get with this other guy. Your boyfriend doesn't deserve that. Don't do anything you wouldn't like him to do to you.
2006-11-26 18:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by Moni0718 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're only boyfriend and girlfriend, not married. There's no reason for you not to try out another guy after 4 years. You probably should. Next time you're hugging and kissing this other guy, go a bit further to see if you're comfortable with it. Maybe he should be the new BF. Have some fun.
2006-11-27 01:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by so 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alright just calm down. I know this is one of those freak out situations where you feel confused and overwhelmed. But all you are really saying is that you find other people interesting and sometimes..."gasp"...you even like them. This doesn't have to be seen as "sexual". In fact you should realize that you can like other guys for who they are but just be their friends. Some guys will always try to be more than friends and that's when you have to say "hey, i really like you but i just want to be friends" it sounds so cheesy but it's the truth. you have to speak outloud how you feel or they won't know. don't be afriad to say how you feel because that is what causes your confusion. you need to talk and think it through so you can figure out what you should do. If you really love your boyfriend and dont' want to loose him then tell guys that you only want to be friends. and don't feel bad that you have feelings for other guys because it's natural to react that way to someone you really like but don't let yourself get carried away. just make the best decisions you can. let yourself feel but think about it to. Hope that helps. Good luck! I'm sure you will be alright.
2006-11-27 00:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by jbirdj623 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing you need to think about is how would you feel if the tables were turned. I think you need to talk to your bf and be very honest, you don't want this to be something that comes back and bites you in the butt. If you feel something you are doing is wrong it probably is. You need to follow your gut and heart and make the decision that is going to be best for both of you. But mostly I think honestly is the best thing for you.
2006-11-27 00:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by kakie829 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to enjoy flirting, it's also natural to have respect for your boyfriend and reject attention from other guys. All our lives there is going to be a more exciting person out there, you can't just give in everytime mr. curiousity steps into your path. Self Control, my friend, I know it's hard, but you need to learn how to use mind over matter.
Good Luck
2006-11-27 01:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bu Tran 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just missing that exciting part of the first months of dating. You need to incite your boyfriend into doing some flirting with you. Chances are he has grown comfortable with the way things are. Be more flirty with him yourself. When he tries to reach for you dance away and give him that "I bet you can't catch me" look. Make him chase you. Invent some games to play like you did at first. Send him love letters and sign them "Secret Admirer"
Hope that helps....
2006-11-27 00:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by Harley Charley 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my dear u r very much a cheater. u r commiting a very selfish act.U'r only thinking of the temp. pleasure but not the long term hurt that u r causing to u boyfriend
2006-11-27 00:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by "Said&Done" 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell Mr. excitement that thing can not work out as he would like them to .than tell your BF about it or not but you still have to think about what if someone elsa tell him it would come out better if you tell him first. if you tell him or not .one thing you need to do is stop whats going on before someone get hurt. tell your BF that you need a little excitement in your life. p.s tell me what happen after that..
2006-11-27 00:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand where you're coming from. But yes, it's still cheating. You might want to reevaluate your relationship. Maybe you're not ready to be stuck. Or maybe you could try to spice things up with the boyfriend. Good luck. Don't beat yourself up about it though.
2006-11-27 00:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by queenblafalot 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you're not 100% wrong..just thinking,maybe you have a problem with your BF..sometimes i also have same feeling like you when i have aproblem with my BF..but you also have to choose,because if in case u'r BF know about that..don't you think that will make his heart hurts??and if your BF do the same thing like you do,how do you feel??just think..hope you'll find out soon..God bless
2006-11-27 01:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by princess Daniella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋