Why does some people being judgemental? (please read my problem)?

Question

Hi, I'm from philippines and im a 9th grader. my classmates in school are judgemental about my personality. they keep on questioning me that im gay or not? i said no. yes i really am not gay. im a straight guy and i like girls and i enjoy lots of sports. i even have 2 crushes that one of them i want to be my girl friend. but my classmates keeps on repeating that question that im gay.. even in activities my classmates are ignoring me. it seems that they treat me like a ghost. and the guys are keep on insulting me about it!! they try to lick my face, holding on my penis, and destroying my stuff. even my teacher is ignoring me that im not around.. i really hate my life. I dont know if my crush is judgemental or not. maybe she's gonna dump me because she thought im gay. not only my classmates but my uncles and aunties too. they always ignoring me that im a ghost or something... what should i do? and how could I get out from this problem? pls dont answer with be yourself thing. cauz i am!!

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. People who are like that are total idiots - to put it bluntly.

For whatever reasons of these boys actions towards you, it is plain bullying, harassment, AND sexual harrassment. Especially if you tell them to leave you alone and they don't.

Shame on your teacher for not helping. I'd definitely talk with a guidance counselor or the principal and ask what the repercussions are for bullying and harassment. Surely that can't be permitted, even though it seems tolerated!

Your principal needs to talk with your teacher so your teacher can start paying attention. But if s/he still doesn't help or make the boys stop, your teacher could be liable too. This is mostly how it works in the US.

You can try these sites on bullying and homophobic bullying:

http://www.bullying.co.uk/pupils.php

http://www.police.govt.nz/service/yes/nobully/whats_bullying.html

http://www.onthenet.com.au/~townsend/where_to_go_for_help.htm

http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=whydoi

http://www.ipoweri.co.uk/links.html


As for your family, I wish I could help you more there. Have they always ignored you? Is your family naturally quiet? Or do they seem to have changed lately?

You could ask them if they are mad at you, or if they realize that they ignoring you. You never know, they might NOT be ignoring you, and thinking because you are a teen that you want to be left alone.

Are you nice to your uncles and aunts? Just things to think about. But you should definitely ask them, and then it's all clear.

As for the girl(s) you like. I think it's as simple as this: If they break up with you because of something they THINK or HEAR, then they are not really worth it, now are they? Would you really want to be with a person like that anyway?

So sorry about the jerks at your school. High School sucks and has sucked for MANY teens. In four years, you'll be outta high school and won't ever have to look at them again.

But the sexual harrassment (them touching your penis, trying to lick your face), is SERIOUS and can be reported.

Until then, please hang in there.

Answer 2

People can be overly-judgemental even if they have no direct opinion on something they love to chatter about, but only an indirect form of negativity, usually formed by the prevalent opinion of the masses. In the case of Twilight, however, there are many parameters which you should take into consideration. And first of all, you need to be aware of the fact that many people judge its content from the movies that are out which, if you want my opinion, are even worse executed in comparison to the novels. Many hardcore Twilight fans have joined the side of "not-so satisfied" groups that like to stand up against the concept of the Twilight movies, merely because directors and producers have left out a number of important parts that would help the adopted into a film novel evolve into a desired masterpiece, thus satisfying the figment of imagination that many readers have formed inside their heads while absorbing the pages one after another. Secondly, let's just stick to the fact that the Twilight novel series are not just poorly-written and overestimated, but they carry negative messages through, messages continuously commented against from a much more healthier society which realizes that not every woman needs a man by her side in order to feel important in this world, and that not every teen-aged girl should recklessly give up her future ambitions in order to get married to a beast. Not to mention that the last novel of the series clearly encourages pedophilia - unless I am the only person who has been open-minded enough to figure it out. Overall, the only thing I am trying to pull off is that people will always judge things, either by their outer appearance or assiduous (which is the right to do, after all). You will never get an answer to this question. Especially for the second part of it, which is the core in which we should focus. "Why are people so judgmental?". Well, this is society.

Answer 3

9th grade can be though on pretty much everyone. You are not the only one who goes through this "crap", it seems to happen all the time.

No offense, but you sound kinda like a wuss. Why would you let guys hold your penis? Tell them to back off with a friendly punch. Dont be a total ***, but be funny about it. For example, if they go for your penis and say your gay, say"then why are you reaching for my sac", and punch him in the balls. LoL

As for the girls. Have fun with them. Treat them with respect and enjoy their company. Work your way up on asking them out. Dont even worry if they think your gay or not, just focus on what you want and have fun getting it.

I hope this helps a little bit...

Answer 4

This is a really tuff situation. I would try to ignore it. I don't know why some people seem to thrive on making other people hurt. The next time they ask you are you gay I would say to them no, but you must be, because you seem to be so obsessed with it. You should also pray for them because they must be pretty shallow people. I really hope things will get easier. Maybe you should try telling your mother what is going on and she what she has to say.

Answer 5

You should talk to your parents and your school counselor.

There is help out there for this kind of problem but you have to make the first effort.

Kids can be very cruel to any other kid who appears weak or vulnerable.

Get some help before this turns into something more serious.

Answer 6

This is a very complicated question. you need to try and talk with your friends and family or beat the **** out of the guys that mess with you. and the whole touching you thing should be dealt with be an adult at the school.

Answer 7

well im a 10th grader, so i've been thru and seen those kinds of problems. you just cant let it get to you, and you have to be tough. you cant let them talk to you like that or touch you. if they say that your gay, just tell them they are stupid for thinking that. prove to them that you are not gay, and if you stand up for yourself they will respect you. if you dont let it bother you, they will just get tired of calling you names and bothering you. so just be tough about it. and as far as the girl that you like, just start talking to her and let her get to know the real you. if she doesnt like you for who you are, then she is not worth it. at school you can try sitting next to her in class or eating lunch with her. give her a compliment and just be nice to her. and if you are ignored, just make yourself known. let everyone know that you are not gay, thru your words and your actions. dont just take all of that bullying from everyone. stand up for yourself, but be cool about it. i hope this helps

Answer 8

well maybe based on the way you act thats y they think your gay because i have a friend that acts like that and people take one look at him and thinks hes gay but hes not. well what i think you should do is just dont care about what they say. if they dont accept you then you just have to move on

Answer 9

dont worry about them, their jsut jealous becuase youre too kewl for them adn they want to be like you!! if people called me gay i would say yes i am bcuz im very happy.and know im not some old person tryin to make u feel good im in 9th grade too!

Answer 10

Stand up or yourself!!! These people are walking all over you! If you don't want to be a "ghost", make yourself noticed. Not only should you be yourself, but you should be more bold and stick up for yourself .