Earlier today I had a BIG falling out with a very good friend. At this point it remains unresolved partly because she refuses to speak with me now. Her boyfriend took it upon himself to butt in and as a result he to is unwilling to deal with me. Here's the problem, their daughter just phoned me and asked if I could help her with a book report for school. In oder to help this 11 year old means, me going to her house then bringing her to mine (to use the printer).
Her mom has to know that she called me for help. This is where my dilema comes in. In the interest of time I've left out many details so if you think you need more in order to answer my question pls. let me know. I am leaning towards telling her no. Wording it is the problem. How does this sound?
I won't be able to help you this time. Your parents and I are not getting along so I don't feel comfortable going to your house.
THAT SOUNDS SO DRY AND REHEARSED!!! PLS HELP!!!
2006-11-26 14:44:52 · 13 answers · asked by babycattos 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would very much like to help he child. Only I don't know how helpful I'll be. The fallout with her mom was huge and it pisses me off that she is starting a book report at 9pm which is due tomorrow that she has had a week to work on.
I don't want the kid to fail, but seriously, hasn't her mom failed her just a bit by not getting this done sooner? That's one of the things we have been arguing about, me having to bail her or one of kids out at the very last minute. She has used me and now her kids feel it's ok to call me at the last minute also.
2006-11-26 15:28:03 · update #1
Unfortunately it may be the best for all especially you that this friendship may need to change or come to an end all together. Some people can't get beyond the pattern of using another and it seems that you have been kind enough that they now consider you the resident door mat. There are other options I'm sure for her daughter, she can put the report on a disc and print it at school before class etc. It seems like having a good dose of reality was too much for her to handle and that is why she blew up at you. Give her time to realize that she has developed this pattern and then there might be a chance to salvage the friendship, if she can't then her friendship was never as genuine as you had hoped. It is never easy, sorry for the chaos you are going through now. Take care.
2006-11-26 15:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by CA Mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, This question is a little foggy but if you need to help this child maybe you can make a point through the child to get her to your house. Let the child be the middle man. I know that sounds crazy but if she goes to her mom and asks to come with you for help and her mom says no then, youre in the clear! I think (since children are involved) you two adults should talk. I know I dont know the details but I have swallowed my pride before and made the first move. LET ME TELL YOU what I did...lol. I went to my friends house after we had words and when she opened the door I was waving a white hankie and had a bag full of her favorite candy. I then said .."I came in peace and bearing gifts. Can we just get over this? Im sorry" After a few laughs (while I was still waving that flag) she said "get your crazy as* in here. You idiot, I love you! " Still freinds to this day!!! Good luck
2006-11-26 14:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by dee4rad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a problem, but not as big of a problem as having a big fallout with a really good friend. I would focus on fixing that, maybe giving your friend a couple days to cool off before trying to contact her, in the meanwhile I think I agree with Elizabeth L.
2006-11-26 14:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by 88keys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just tell this girl that you would absolutely love to help her, but you don't know how her mother would like it. You should probably ask her if she would ask her mom if it is alright, or ask her mother for help. If her mother says no, you should help her write it over the computer, and then she can e-mail it to you, and you can print it out, and then all you have to do is quick drop it off, or slide it under the door if her mother wants to be that immature about it.
2006-11-26 15:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by xtroubledsoul98x 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want to help then say what you were going to...
If you do want to help tell her to ask her mom if it is okay if she waits outside for you to pick her up... that way you deal with just the little girl... not the fight. Maybe when you bring her home her mother can come outside and talk to you...
Good Luck
2006-11-26 15:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by Tiggy's Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what the heck are you doing helping her kid in the first place.. why isnt she???
on the other hand if it is normal for you to help the kid and you like the kid - then why take it out on her..dont drag an innocent kid into it...
simply either help her out, have her ask her mom if its ok...
or say "sorry this isnt a good time" and say NOTHING more...
2006-11-26 14:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by CF_ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say " tell your Mom to call me and if its ok with her I sure will give you a hand with your report." That way your not dragging the child in the middle of your spat.
2006-11-26 14:51:39 · answer #7 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you would love to help but to ask her mom if it's okay. Tell her to get her mom to phone you if she says no. Mom won't want to be immature in front of her child so it might turn out to be an interesting means of reconciliation.
2006-11-26 14:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by missanniesue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should say, Your parents don't want me to help you, you should ask for their help instead.........It is the truth, not dry. And kids don't like to be lied to. You don't have to tell her why. Tell her to ask her parents why.
2006-11-26 14:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth L 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds good to me.
why'dya have ta rock ta boat in the first place eh?
2006-11-26 14:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋