I'm remarried, and my husband says; "Im too old, she isn't my daughter, another man can not raise another mans daughter."
If I ask her to move in with me he will leave me, I think.
She is 17
She wants to live with an illegal imigrant, who has a child and very, very poor.
Do I have to loose my happy life , to help my daughter?
2006-11-26 14:39:43 · 13 answers · asked by redford 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
None of us can answer that question for you, you have to weigh all the possible consequences and go with the best one for you
2006-11-26 14:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Before you married this man - did you talk to him about how important your child was to you - and that there may be a time when she needed to live with you? If you didn't that is a now a mistake that you will have to fix. Your child is your responsibility - even if she is almost 18 - and the man you married should have understood that. If he didn't - unfortunately - you should tell him now and do the right thing. If that is just too hard for you - because you're all wrapped up in your own happiness - then she is probably better off with an very very poor illegal imigrant. Hopefully they will be able to provide her with love and take on what should be your responsibility.
2006-11-26 14:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by liddabet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter should come before your second husband, always and forever. No way would I let a man come between me and my child.
Besides, HE wouldn't be raising your daughter, YOU would be. He is assuming too much in thinking that you will need his help. If your second husband can't tolerate your daughter living with the two of you then you should leave him and find housing for yourself and your daughter. Hopefully you can get child support from your daughter's father to help assist you.
2006-11-26 15:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by bookworm1171 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is 17. She's not going to require too much raising. I think your husband just doesn't want to share you or his life with your daughter. Which is shameful. I've been divorced for 3 years now and if one of my ex wives kids ever show up at my door, hell would freeze over before I would turn them away. You have to ask yourself if this man is worth turning your back on your daughter.
2006-11-26 16:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by knite_hawk1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What kind of a mother asks strangers this on the internet?
Oh yeah....the one who gave birth to a child she "claims" to love yet chooses some man she's known for "insert dates" who rejects same daughter and says she has a happy life.
I honestly am dumbfounded that you would even ask this.
By the way, her age makes NO difference in the equation. Bottom line is your husbands a jerk and you're rejecting your offspring.
2006-11-26 16:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 17, she's almost done being raised, so now she needs a support system and a roof over her head. Can you work out a compromise with your husband that she will have a curfew, not cause trouble, whatever it is he needs to hear? Seventeen is too young to make life choices without being able to see a couple years down the road. Try sitting down with both of them to see if she could be a decent "housemate" to the living situation you have now.
2006-11-26 14:43:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do .
Im sorry but your daughter should be your first priority.
Your new husband is not as great as you think he is, if he would be willing to let a member of the family suffer. And you are not a good mum if you put him before your own daughter.
Sorry for being so blunt, but really do you even have to ask???????????????
2006-11-26 14:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband doesn't love you if he leaves you "because you help your daughter"!!!What a mother you are?!She 's only 17!What do you think will happened?Are you sure you have a happy live?
2006-11-26 14:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by YORDANKA K 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I was your daughter I would be feeling very unloved and unwanted about now.....You chose a man over your own child......and you are worried about losing your "happy life"....What about her life??? does that count?....
God, just hearing this story makes me have abandonment issues.......What a shame....
2006-11-26 14:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you should choose your daughter over him..but does she have a grandparent, or aunt to live with, she is months away from being an adult on her own..even a friend maybe..if your husband really loves you he would do it rather then loosing you..It is only for a year..
2006-11-26 17:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by hazeleyes_127 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do you have to leave your happy life to help your daughter what kind of question is that your children should come first no matter what
2006-11-26 14:56:01 · answer #11 · answered by mystical 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋