My 35-year-old sister buys presents for people, sends flowers and cards, and generally helps anyone she can. That's great! But what isn't great is that as soon as the good deed is completed, she calls family and friends and brags about it and wants us all to know what a wonderful thing she has done. It is wearing thin in the family and people in general think she's a nuisance. How can I tell her in a nice way that it appears she is doing these good things to get credit, NOT to really help others? Thank you.
2006-11-26 14:16:29 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you are doing a good deed because you're a genuinely caring person who wants to help people out, then you would never call around looking for adulation. That's egotistical. The reward is feeling like a million bucks for putting a smile on someone's face. She must be needy in some tremendous way.
2006-11-26 14:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by blondes tease, brunettes please 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that it's not a good deed if she's doing it for bragging rights.
Tell her good deeds are done for the pure feeling of doing something great for the world, not so you can call every person you know. She's doing more damage to her reputation by bragging than by just simply keeping it to herself.
Tell her that you're all pretty annoyed at her preaching about how much of a "saint" she is.
2006-11-26 22:22:01 · answer #2 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy at all! Doing a good deed to help someone is a very nice thing. But if you are only doing to get recognition then you really aren't doing it for them you are doing it for yourself. Just sit her down and tell her that it is great what she is doing IF she is doing it for the right reason. Tell her the Bible says that doing something for others in anonimtiy is a blessing in heaven. But not to be prideful and make a spetacle of yourself to call attention to that good deed. That is being prideful and unfortunately cancels out the good deed in the eyes of God. Tell her she doesn't have to tell you to get her just reward because God already knows what she did and he will reward her in heaven..lol if she stops being so prideful! :-)
2006-11-26 22:26:22 · answer #3 · answered by Jody May 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true. A good deed is something that is done for the sake of altruism not glory! You won't get through to her if you accuse her, just mention it. I bet that she doesn't know how to help so she buys things instead, so offer her a real suggestion on how she can help.
2006-11-26 22:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something nice yourself, then casually bring it up in a conversation- but just slip it in. And then be like "I feel kind of bad about talking about it- it seems like it takes all the good out of it by bragging. I mean have you guys ever felt that talking about good things makes it seem like you're doing it to raise yourself up to others, not to raise the other people up? Make sure she is present and hear what she says. Just make sure that you don't just bluntly bring up whatever act of kindness you choose- make sure it seems like it SLIPPED out of you and you regret it. And dont direct it to ure sister or she will be insulted. Best of luck- :-)
2006-11-26 22:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister is desperate for acceptance and wants very badly to be liked. Next time she calls to tell about something she's done you can say gently: "Sis, we know you're a wonderful person who does so much for others. We love you. I'm wondering why you need to tell us every time you do something good -- do you not feel appreciated enough?" Then listen to what she says. Maybe she isn't feeling like she is valued. Good luck!
2006-11-26 22:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doing a good deed is great if it is a selfless one sounds like she is doing it to get attention a good deed is where you do not benefit from it in anyway....she's an attention seeker,ask her do to something for someone without bragging about it,if she still feels good about herslf without anyone knowing about it then great if she doesn't then tell her
2006-11-26 22:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by tesla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to get acceptance for some reason,and I would ask her are you doing this for yourself or the kindness?. I mail things like that and DO NOT even ask if they get it, I'll know in my heart it was something good I did and it made someone smile. NO YOUR NOT CRAZY SHE IS....lol
2006-11-26 22:22:07 · answer #8 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A very wise book says....Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. In other words don't brag!
oh that book is the bible, been around for centurys
2006-11-26 22:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by bevfortbragg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup! You're absolutely right.. a good deed shouldn't be bragged about. Well, if you're sincere of doing it.
2006-11-26 22:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by Sportivo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋