So I have had 2 kids and I am 140 lbs and 5'5. My youngest is only nine months old and I am trying to lose the weight. I was homecoming queen and voted most outgoing in highschool I know I am somewhat attractive I have never had problems with getting men but..The thing is my husband has never really wanted to have sex with me. Even when we were dating I could only get it like once a week. It makes me feel fat and ugly. My friends husbands are all over them but mine says he would rather have porn than sex any day. I don't know what to do I try to make it nice for him I don't just lay there or anything and I have been with 5 other guys all of which always wanted to come back for more? Is it because I have gained weight from being pregnant or are some guys just this way? He never goes anywhere. always home so I KNOW he's not cheating and he's so sweet. But it's like my sex drive is so much larger than his. He smokes ALOT of pot -like everyday- Could this effect things? or is it just me?
2006-11-26 14:16:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even when I WAS smaller it didn't help though! And he says he hates lingerie it's overated.. and we had sex once a week wehn we were DATING now its more like once every two or three months!!. I know this sounds silly but i am REALLY hurt and don't know what to do
2006-11-26 14:30:34 · update #1
it's completely him honey! Don't worry you are beautiful and if he doesn't think so .. then go find someone else
2006-11-26 14:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a winner of a husband! Smokes pot and would rather watch porn than have sex w/ his attractive wife... and has 2 kids~~ Real sweet guy!
It sounds like you are also stuck in your highschool days and are on the verge of having an affair if you don't get some validation or acceptance from you'r pot smoking husband.
Well let's see now...pot probably does affect his sex drive ... not you (have some more confidence in your self)!
Maybe watch the movie broke back mountain and see if that might be his option ... or stop telling him how he doesn't deserve you .. it sounds like you might actually think you could do better because of your past... so stop talking and do something about it. Tell him to shape up or ship out ... drugs around or even not around my kids is not an option. You can tough it out on the sex for a while... (other non adultry options) and let this guy change ... if not ... how scary to be on this message board in 6 years with the exact same complaint although you will probably be 159 lbs. and depressed even more.
good luck.
2006-11-26 14:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by jmilil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off let me start by saying there are some people, rare i will say that do not particularly like sex weather it be with you the gril next door or Pamela Anderson. While your husband watches porn, sex in all reality may just not be the thrill of a life time. I have known peaple (mostly women) that could not stand a tampoon in side them much more a gaint penis in campairitive terms. Men sometimes do not fancy fluids on them in most cases where men do not like sex as much. Youalso have the pot thing. Ciggerrets can kill anyones sex drive after enough of them. So imagine what the toxins in pot could do. Or in the rare chance that he is gay then there nothing really you can do. But i will leave you with this. Its is not becuse you are fat or ugly or dont know what you are doing. Yeah ok you had a kid, and you may still have some weight on you. it doesnt make you so disgusting that your man wont sleep with you. and any one who says other wise i will shoot them myslef becuse they are to superfical for you to waste your time on
2006-11-26 14:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Quoth the Raven on this one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 kids and I've gained a few pounds from it. But it doesn't keep my husband from having sex with me. It is hard for us to have sex because we work different shifts and we have 3 kids. My youngest is 4 months. You are not alone. Sex once a week is good. Most married couples have it only once a month. The smoking POT everyday could be effecting his sex drive. But I really think that you are just over reacting. Sex is not everything in a relationship. Good luck!
2006-11-26 14:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by ~dat~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well from a guys point of view it just happens its not your weight my chic is pregnant with our 3rd and she has gained some weight and i dont care because all our babys are good and healthy and my girl still looks good dresses up and has make up on for me when i get home i know she only dresses up to get my attention i am still very attracted to her and she has a higher sex drive than i but i work really hard at my job and after i come home clean up and spend time with the kids im ready for bed she is very understanding about this and i feel a little guilty cause she has had to buy some toys but i always enjoy watching her it usually gets me going if you know what i mean. i know alot of women think guys are jerks that only think of one thing but there are men out there that has more on there minds than just sex. and i also a smoker sometimes and i can make you pretty lazy ignore agent d i c k head lol 140 is not over weight if you like your chics looking like skeletons i guess but i like a lil meat on the bones thick thighs and a butt
2006-11-26 14:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by stephen s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to stop smoking so much. Maybe you should try to watch the porn with him and then do what they are doing in the flick. Tell him things like ...oh, lets do it the way they are doing it. Tell yourself everyday that this is a relationship problem and no one is to blame, but you can work together to find what will work to satisfy yourself. 140 lbs and 5'5" is not bad..do not think you have any problem with that. Good luck !
2006-11-26 14:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Majettza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i swear it is the pot, or he is afaid of having more kids. My man smokes pot to and after out son was born we only had sex like once every 2 weeks. he told me he was afraid of having another one. I got the IUD and we started having more sex, but not like we did before the baby. Before the baby i made him quit for a few months and the sex was like 2 or more times a day. when he started smoking again it went down to like 1 or 2 times a week. i really think pot lowers the sex drive in men.
2006-11-26 14:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by jesika011 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you're a little overweight. The first thing I would recommend is a good exercise program and a healthy diet. Lose about 20 pounds, buy some sexy lingerie, and offer to make a home movie with your man. And then when you look all sexy and he wants you like crazy, you have the power to make him stop smoking or get in the gym as well. Take charge girl, get the power back!
2006-11-26 14:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Agent69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
aw don't feel bad...if u think your still kinda big why dont u try to lose moe weights....even i myself i get so big when i was pregnant but im really really trying to get my weight before...if u think it's the pot all i can say from my experience is different...me and hubby use pot before in 1 month 1 time but we love it specially when we are in bed...mmm i never heard using pot makes sex drive down...anyway for the moment if u feel a little bit big try to lose some weights...
2006-11-26 14:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't prefer a real woman to fantasy (porn) then there is something wrong with him.
Every red blooded male out there will tell you that they rather get laid than watch a porn a masturbate.
If this was a problem when you were dating what made you think it was going to change when you got married.
2006-11-26 14:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl im having the same problem, my man doesnt want to have sex with me either but im 160 lbs. and 7 months pregnant. But if you are not pregnant you should try new things to get him aroused...and smoking weed isnt the reason why he doesnt want sex..my man smokes and has a healthy sex drive just not with me... try new outfits,toys,positions,record yourself on a camcorder and have him watch it. surprise him in the shower...
but im sure it not the weed... He's probably bored and wants excitement..good luck.
2006-11-26 14:30:40 · answer #11 · answered by happy2BAlive!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋