We both love one another, but have a hard time expressing our feeling to one another. He is an impatient person as well as controlling, I have my control issues as well... I alllow him to make me feel like I'm living on egg shells 24/7 We work together bur I never have a paycheck. Always having to ask for everything instead of being able to go buy the things I want or need, If we have an argument he makes it clear that everything belongs to him!! I'm at my witts end. He doesn't make love to me often, It's about his wants & needs @ his time! Please Hlp!
2006-11-26 14:15:40 · 8 answers · asked by jennigsback 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously there is some reason why you have chosen to become engaged altho it sounds like there are control issues for both of you. You don't want to get tied into a marriage with someone who will control you like that ~ but what are your control issues? Be honest about all of this with him & see what happens. Now is not the time to start keeping your feelings to yourself.
As for your difficulty in expressing your feeling to each other:
I recommend this book (not a quick-fix answer "): "intimacy, trusting oneself and the other" by Osho. Here is a little bit from the back cover: ".....Far more important to intimacy is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities, with the trust that the other person will treat these with care. Ultimately, the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed, even if that trust is betrayed, we will not suffer any permanent damage....[Osho takes us ...through what makes intimacy frightening and how to encounter those fears, go beyond them, and nourish ourselves and our relationships to support more openness and trust]".
from st. martin's griffin press or www.stmartins.com
you can find it at many large bookstores or they can order it & is less than 200 pages but excellent...
Also, pls ask him to read it! Good luck!
2006-11-26 14:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by pomme de terre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur already asking that question and just got engaged, maybe u should break it off and wait awhile. i was in the same boat. relationships take alot of effort. there are always going to be up and downs. you should be allowed to at least have some independence. if he wants to be the breadwinner and wont let u work, then tell him he can finance ur education, and everything else u need. do not marry unless u both are sure that its a lifetime commitment.. good luck girl
2006-11-26 23:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to money, there is always arguing. A solution that you could come up to is to get a job that pays you. That way, you can get the stuff you want and share off the products to pay and bills depending on the proportion of income you could get. If you haven't finish your studies, go for it. You are never to old to learn and you'll get paid even more. You'll also get more respect from your husbund.
hope this helps
goodluck
2006-11-26 22:36:15 · answer #3 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear ... This situation is only going to get worse if you marry him. Why on earth would you even want to be with this person much less marry him? Run!!! I stayed with a man like this for 16 years ... He became more and more abusive and more and more controlling.
2006-11-27 09:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both have some growing up to do. Don't get married until you are both more mature. From what you write there are a lot of danger signs in your relationship.
2006-11-26 23:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ace Librarian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you marrying him? If he is a controlling boyfriend, he will be an even more controlling husband and that is not good marriage material.
2006-11-26 22:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh-- hell naw..... you get your *** up, get a part
time job.. then go to a full time job.......
stand your ground...... stand on your own two feet.....
and make your own living.......
i did it after 22yrs. of marriage,
after my kids were out of school.....and older......
was hard at first..... but better toward the end.......
2006-11-26 22:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PRE MARITAL COUNSELING
2006-11-26 22:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by underarrest33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋