We both love one another, but have a hard time expressing our feeling to one another. He is an impatient person as well as controlling, I have my control issues as well... I alllow him to make me feel like I'm living on egg shells 24/7 We work together bur I never have a paycheck. Always having to ask for everything instead of being able to go buy the things I want or need, If we have an argument he makes it clear that everything belongs to him!! I'm at my witts end. He doesn't make love to me often, It's about his wants & needs @ his time! Please Hlp!
2006-11-26 14:09:25 · 10 answers · asked by jennigsback 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should read "women who love too much", i believe it is by Robin Norwood. Honestly, I don't know why you would want to marry someone who makes you feel that way. If it's like this before the marriage, imagine what it will be like after. Good luck.
2006-11-26 14:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, This one is really a doozy. Let's recap! He's controlling, impatient and argumentive and you got engaged? I'd say this is a classical example of a person (you) being co-dependent. It sounds like you have settled into the idea that he is it for you and that you must settle for abuse, so the next step in your mind is marriage. This is a tragedy for a number of reasons. One, no one should be abused. Two, no one should control anyone else's life for any reason. Three, relationships should always be win-win and not self persuing. So what can you do about it? You can do a number of things. Let's start by rethinking this engagement thing. I would stop there and even suggest that the engagement be broken until you both get anger management classes and then "pre-marital" counseling. In fact, go on line and take a compatibility test just to see if you are truly compatible.
I would not suggest trying to make the relationship last at this point. You would do better by trying to address and resolve all of the issues in the relationship and if he is not willing to do that you should reevaluate the relation and whether or not it is what you will be happy in for the rest of your life.
I would also suggest that either you start makiing him pay you are you get a job that is not with him. As to the love making( or lack thereof), it is likely a result of your issues coupled with the fact that he does not respect you. This will only change as the issues in the relationship changes.
2006-11-26 14:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by Willard S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 15yrs... there are many ups and downs but the key is two fold. Comming to the conclusion that divorce is not an option as a solution to a fight. The second is mutual respect. At per your post, does not sound like he gives u much respect as a thinking person... which makes him look stupid for being with a stupid person... huh? anyway... thnk long and hard and insist on marrital counseling b4 ur wedding.
2006-11-26 14:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by drivingi75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married to his twin......I would call the whole thing off because if you let it still go on he will always try to run your life.........Then when you have a child with him you will never get to be the mother you want to be as long as you are with him....the child will get what they want when they want it and will learn how to walk all over you like he is doing.............. Tell him you want a husband not another father
2006-11-26 14:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like hell. You are getting yourself into a terrible situation. Haven't you ever watched Maury or other shows where women are married to controlling men? They are living in Hell!!! Do you really want that for yourself? Get away while you still can!
2006-11-26 14:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but all I can say is get out before its too late. ...Run my friend .... life is much more then being controlled by an insensitive man
2006-11-26 14:41:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if he makes you really happy. if this is what its like before the marriage, how will it be 50 years from now? marriage is difficult enough. dont settle for comfortablility.
2006-11-26 14:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your relationship is already doomed. if you can't compromise now then things won't get any better. you've got to be honest and speak up about how you feel
2006-11-26 16:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't get married...you'll have a relationship forever...
2006-11-26 14:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't cheat.
2006-11-26 14:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by I think this is useful you see 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋