Arguments?

Question

When my husband and I have arguments it's usually about the same thing, the internet and him talking to other girls. When he gets angry he always says he has no intention of meeting these girls but my constant nagging is pushing him to want to have sex with someone else.
Do you think he really means it or is it done out of anger? This morning before he left he got mad because I erased some of his contacts off his messanger list and he said "I will f*ck someone today, I don't care who, if our neighbor wants to f*ck, I will because you are pushing me to do it."
He called me a few hours after that and appoligized, but it makes me wonder if I am going to push him someday. What do you think?

Answer 1

Well, the good ole Internet. I seem to have a similar problem. However, I am not married and will not be married for this reason. I think your husband said it out of anger. At the same time, you did invade his privacy.

I understand where you are coming from. My b/f has 45 women on his yahoo list. He has one that he talks with hours at a time. Then he has the balls to ask if I would marry him. Why the hell would I put myself thru that??? I have finally reached his favorite line........dilligas.......do I look like i give a sh#t?

Your husband needs to grow up and realize...that the Internet is a fantasy world.

Answer 2

Well if does anything then he's responsible for those actions. NO matter how much you ***** at him he can't blame you for his actions.
But if you want to get control of this then i suggest you get him talking about what is going on and why he is really feeling so threatened. It sounds like he is just being defensive because you are calling him out on his lustfull thoughts. He also sounds like he doesn't want to be controled and if you tell him what not to do then he'll do it just to spite you. IF he wants to have sex with someone else then he has his own reasons that you need to get to the bottom of. He probably won't have any good answers because men rarley can explain why they feel the way they do. But I am guessing that this is just the old marriage problem. Things get old and boring and you want some excitement. The internet has lots of excitment and you can actually engage in your fantasy without physical contact.
You need to decide what behavior you are willing to accept and what you are not.
Communication is the key here so keep on nagging untill you feel you understand because this is a slippery slope and it could mean trouble ahead.

Answer 3

Talking to women or men online is not a crime and it is certainly not cheating. I think you should stop being a controlling wife and allow your husband to have his own life and friends. Deleting his contacts and constantly nagging at him because he just so happens to be talking with someone of the opposite sex is very immature and just shows him how insecure you are in this relationship. Your insecurity is having an effect on him. You assume he's going to cheat and that assumption is pushing him to want to cheat. He is saying these things out of anger, but his anger and his words reflect your relationship. You both need to get some counselling and work on your relationship. Marriage is not about each spouse owning and controlling the other. You should be his best friend and his lover not his controlling nagging wife who doesn't allow him to have non-sexual relationships with the opposite sex outside of your marriage. Get help!

Answer 4

I think you should stop erasing his contacts off his messenger list and stop nagging.. If he really wants to cheat he is going to cheat, there's nothing u can do about it.. If he loves, respects and appreciates you then he won't cheat on you.. You should speak to him calmly and tell him that his behavior (talking to other girls) is not acceptable and that it hurts you and that you cannot live with it.. Nagging and searching for evidence that he is cheating will not do you any good, on the contrary it will make your relationship miserable.. He should know that you will never accept the fact that he talks to other girls and that he should start to act like a responsible, loyal husband.. And no one can be pushed into cheating it is a choice that people make.

Answer 5

Life is too short for all the arguing. He is wrong for talking to other girls. It sounds as though he is trying to get his nerve up enough to have sex with someone else, and make you feel like it is your fault - that you "pushed him to do it". You may want to think about a life without him in it, or seems as though you will have to accept what he is doing. Is he having a mid-life crisis or is he too young for that - even so, it is still a problem for you. Do what you have to do to be happy!

Answer 6

He still thinks like a single man.

He hasnt fully evolved into the married man he should be.

He definetly wants more sex elsewhere.

He will screw other women.

He is fighting you for it.

But at least he's talking about it, thats a good start.

Keep working on him and continue to erase female contacts and opportunities to meet other chicks. Cuz he will screw up.

Good job! High five for you!

Answer 7

he is thinking or planning on cheating, and when he does it he will say it's your falt, because u nagged him, instead of taking responsibility for doing things that upset u. he is not acting like a husband, a husband doesn't talk to other's much less say he is going to sleep with someone else. i would keep my eyes wide open, maybe go on the messenger and pretend to be him and see just what u are dealing with. it is just a lame excuse to do what he wants to do, while placing all the blame on u.

Answer 8

No you do not pushed him at all. He is already cheating on you since he is having an emotional affair which is defined as expressing thoughts, ideas, deep feelings, emotions, or sharing experiences normally reserved for spouse with another person or persons. An emotional affairs differs from a physical affair in that it is not initiated for simple sex. Emotional affairs are often initiated when one spouse is not receiving emotional support from the other spouse and seek fulfillment from another person. Emotional affairs are often viewed as being as devastating to a relationship as an affair that involves only sex. He is putting blame on you and he is one who is unreasonable.

Answer 9

I think he is trying to set you up as the "reason" why he will cheat in case he decides to. I don't think his threats about having sex with with someone else is a healthy way to fight. I don't know the answer but the info you gave us makes me uneasy. Maybe he has no intention of meeting those girls, I don't know, but that is some horrible threat.

Answer 10

OK...Argument are always bad.....but You shouldn't have erased anything...that's what got to him....you need trust you husband that he just playing around the Internet...it's like my husband he watches porn girl on girl porn...and looks at other women...but I love my husband and know him and trust him that it just a guy thing......He felt bad and he really loves you because he called and appoligized and know he was worng...trust him that nothing is going on....I have guy I chat with and my husband knows....