Divorcing after 12 years...going to mediation w/ attorneys. What should I expect?

Question

We have 3 children together, divorcing because of domestic violence (weapon included) & he is an alcoholic. I kicked him out of our home in July - after he was arrested for DV. He is now living the life of a bachelor.. new girlfriend..new house-only has court-ordered supervised visitation every other weekend and is supposed to call our children nightly (which he does NOT adhere to - has called our kids only once this week, and left a message for them on Thanksgiving at 9:00. He KNEW we weren't home, and could have called them on my cell phone when he was supposed to - between 7 & 8:00!). We both earn about the same monthly, however, there are 4 people in my household, and only 1 in his. Also, we can't sell our house right now because of a prepayment penalty. Should he have to help me pay the mortgage, ON TOP of the support I am currently receiving for the kids? Also, will I have to speak, or will my attorney do all the talking? What else should I ask for as far as my kids future?

Answer 1

First be glad the a**hole is out of YOUR life. If you keep his name on the deed (agreed upon by both partIEs) he needs to pay at least half every month until it can be sold then split the sale down the middle. Honey, if you DO NOT speak with your attorney for things you agree on or disagree on I hate to tell you that would be extremely foolish on your part. DO NOT let your attorney sell you down the river just to get this over with! You do not say how old your children are but if they are young, he needs to supply 1/2 of all expenses both medically and personally (ie. sports, cheer-leading, band, etc.). You should also have a provision that he pay 1/2 college education for the children. And, I would see if I could make the children irrevocable recipients of his life insurance and pension plan (if there is one) in the event something happens to him and name what percentage each is to get. My gut feeling is with his new life, he will not be a tremendous part of the children's lives anyway. And remember, no trash talking. Leave that up to the attorney and if it gets uncomfortable, ask the mediator for a recess. Good Luck.

Answer 2

As far as mediation is concerned it is formality in your case. No one can tell you that you have to be married to a man who is violent toward you or children. As far as the house is concerned it will be marital property most likely i do not know details how did you purchase it, and a a such it will be divided equal and each of you will receive 50% of what ever is left after you pay mortgage, and selling expenses. I believe that if your husband refuse to pay 50% of the mortgage and taxes and repairs that you will be able to deduct it from the proceeds of sale.