Here is the email (with some details taken out to protect identities):I've never gotten over the love of my life (who was and is married). I am attached in a 5 yr relationship but recently had a very deep yearning in my heart to see him again. I called his house twice and hung up. I thought about how stupid I'd sound and how I didn't even fully know what my intentions, hopes, and desires were from making the phone call. I also did not want to cause pain to his wife. She is an older woman, and while my ex loved her at the time of our affair, he had been out of love with her for many years and was taking care of her out of friendship love and dedication, as she is a foreigner and is dependent on him. Us: We believed we were soul mates, and I've never recovered. How it ended: Me young and battled depression & in an act of foolishness I faked crazy once so he wouldn't leave me and go home to her. I was 2 convincing. He thought I was mental.I pushed him away. He even cried. I miss him!!!
2006-11-26 13:32:12 · 8 answers · asked by humble.earthling 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would tell this person that what she does NOT need right now is one more emotional train wreck. I would suggest that she is compelled to create such a situation in order to distract herself from confronting and working on her own problems. I would, also, suggest that she find out what is the real cause of her feelings of emptiness and the need to seek others to fill that emptiness before she gets involved with anyone else again.
But if she is like most people, she won't listen to any of that and she'll go out and make a mess of her life. In that case, as her friend, I'd be waiting with the Kleenex and the coffee and the shoulder to be cried on.
2006-11-26 13:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me she is still very much in love with him,and they had such a deep connection. I believe that if she did call him and they did see each other again how would the situation change? He is still married and responsible to his wife, your friend is in a relationship. Also her pushing him away must have been very painful for her and I'm sure she suffered from a deep depression afterwords. She should be thankful they had such a passionate connection, some people never get that close.
Why would she want to get hurt again? Unless he is willing to leave his wife and build a life with her,it makes no sense rehashing her past pain.
However if she has a good friend such as you to process through what she is feeling,it will help her get passed this.Be there for her ever if your just there ot listen,let her cry get it out,put closure to this part of her life.
If she were my friend I would be her touch stone, her friend and listen for how ever long it takes for her to let go.
All my best to you....Peace
2006-11-26 14:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by SpecialLdy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems that your friend is just infatuated and perhaps even obsessed with this guy. And maybe the reason she wants him so much is because she knows she can't have him since he is married. We tend to want things more when they don't belong to us...It's quite an extreme that she "faked crazy" in order to keep him longer...that would scare anyone away! But I guess you don't use common sense when you're desperate. Obviously by calling him again, her intentions are to try to get back together with him. If she believes that they are truly "soul mates" she should just wait it out, and if its fate then they will get back together again. Love can't be just a feeling, it has to also be a choice, if she is suffering from this then she really needs to let go...if he does not choose to leave his wife to be with your friend then she must accept his decision...or else she will be battling with these emotions for the rest of her life. It also seems like he might be using your friend just to have someone to sleep with...if he loved her then he would be with her instead of his wife.
2006-11-26 13:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say she needs to talk it out with someone and basicly start the healing process. It sounds like a very mixed up relationship that does not need to keep sputtering. It would be much healthier for her to seek some help and a sounding board and eventually move on to a relationship where she is his only soul mate. Good Luck, I know its hard for people to talk to others about something so personal.
2006-11-26 13:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by ♀♥☼ alycat☼♥♀ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nicely i'm no longer a bible expert...yet i think of a million corinthians 13:sixteen or something like that and it says "love would not envy" in the hot worldwide translation. and your mom shouldnt have mentioned that to you. I hate it whilst mothers says stuff like that. i've got had you as a splash for an prolonged time, I remember your previous avatar, you're very exceedingly! And approximately feeling no longer as exceedingly after a toddler, I war with that too. I used to wax my eyebrows, weekly manicures, dye my hair and consistently style now i don't one of the above, i'm fortunate if i will bathe or positioned make up on even. I used to have various those new outfits, now i can not arise with the money for to purchase any. yet i'm particular they had be green with envy human beings too whilst they see our beautiful infants and what beautiful mothers we are.
2016-10-17 14:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Ann Landers
2006-11-26 13:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by Cliff C 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
too much time has passed. besides he is married now. would your friend want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage? put your interests in another direction and pray to God to help you get over this situation.
2006-11-26 13:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by rubyred 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
she sounds like a stalker .... she needs help !
2006-11-26 13:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by jizzumonkey 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋