This friend is very dear to me and I really enjoy his company. He also happens to be an exboyfriend. But we were friends before we started dating and wanted to remain so afterwards. I have reassured my boyfriend that we are just friends and nothing more but he doesn't seem to beieve me. I have a feling that if I don't stop being friends with him my boyfriend will leave me. I don't want to lose either of them.
2006-11-26 13:28:38 · 9 answers · asked by penguin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Then put your foot down! The best part of a relationship is trust. Your bf is failing. Do not give in to this emotional blackmail! If he leaves-let him. You do not want to spend hours of your life explaining that this friend is JUST a friend.Here is something to discuss: he may be projecting HIS views on you. Is he the type that cannot be around another female without making a pass?
The bottom line is a boyfriend/fiancee/husband had got to trust you and you should be able to trust back. Look for someone more secure with himself AND you. He may be able to handle this, so discuss with him. But be prepared to walk-he needs to be able to trust you entirely, or he needs to leave.You are blameless.
2006-11-26 13:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by life coach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his shoes. Would you feel comfortable if he's still good friends with his ex? It will be uncomfortable, no matter what. I really don't blame him. I'd suggest that you cut down on the phone calls and activities with your friend, in an effort to save your relationship. But you must be aware when your bf starts to become more controlling of your life (by then you will know that jealousy is not the reason). If your bf does not trust you, what else is there in the r'ship? It won't last long, I'm sorry to say. You will be very frustrated with him in the end. But your friend will always be there ;-)
2006-11-27 00:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by Hanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason your bf don't like him is obvious and can't blame him for that.Jealousy and fear.Your bf is afraid that you might be back with him since you guys have history.You need to prove to your bf that you and your friend is well,friend.You will hurt your friend if you stop being friends with him and it doesn't prove anything,it only will hurt you and him.You need to try harder if you don't want to lose either of them.Action speaks louder than word.
2006-11-26 21:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. Here's one way to look at it. Guys who are controlling and manipulative always try to isolate their "victim" so that control is easier. So, I'd say don't stop being friends with the ex. You always need to be independent and have a life of your own.
2006-11-26 21:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not like for my boyfriend to still be friends with an old girlfriend. Perhaps your feelings for this ex aren't in the past as much as you think!
2006-11-26 21:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by zemirahjoy33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your "boyfriend" is the type who would dump you because he doesn't like one of your friends I would tell him good ridiance because he is NOT a boyfriend. He is trying to control YOUR life. Next step he will not want you spending time with your family and will expect you to spend every waking moment with him. That is a form of abuse and it leads to physical abuse. You don't need someone who would try to control who YOU are friends with.
2006-11-26 21:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys come and go, but friends are forever. Dont leave your friend just because of some guy dosnt like him.
2006-11-26 23:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by Echo♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Ok, well i wouldnt leave this friend, but tell him that you want to still be friends and all, but not around the b/f.
2006-11-26 21:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by Star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not ay all, your boy friend seems to be rather possesive.
2006-11-27 03:02:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋