do you think that men that have an affair for more than a year have fallen in love with that person ?

Question

or is it only getting what his marriage is lacking? if you think they can fall in love why dont they get divorced and marry their affair?

Answer 1

everything is possible. we cannot really generalize that people who've been together for more than a year are in-love. i mean, it's a case-to-case basis right? but i agree with the answer above that it has evolved into a relationship already. yes, it is very possible that they have fallen in love with each other or maybe the sex is just too good to give up on. on the divorce issue - it could be a variety of reasons (kids, finances, reaction of relatives). moreover, divorce from the first wife does not necessarily mean a marriage to the other woman. at any rate, there is definitely something wrong with the marriage if a man could carry on a relationship outside of it.

Answer 2

Yes, they are probably in love. Money, fears of retaliation, ect. can cause the married person to continue too long in the marriage when really they long to be with the other woman. Its also possible that the man could love them both for different reasons and for that reason can't decide so he doesn't want to give either one up. I feel ,though,that the man is actually "in love" with the woman if it has been that long. If his wife is vindictive, he can not confront her with his affair and probably dreads what will happen if he leaves her. Probably there is a lot of guilt whether she is vindictive or not. I think if his wife and the husband have not been close in a long time, even before the affair, then she hopefully would not be vindictive . Sure, mad, but maybe just ready to go on with her life. If that seems to be her attitude, I think the husband should have made a decision and made a change by a year. If she is going to cause bad things to happen, then that is one reason why the man might keep putting it off. There are so many reasons for the husband staying, Its hard to believe he doesn't have strong feelings for the person he's having an affair with though. Its according to the man himself,also. Does he send the same message to his wife as he does the other woman? Does he tell his affair that he loves her but can't bring himself to really mean it when he tells his wife?Is he playing both on purpose? Is he a genuinely passionate man about the way he feels about most things? He needs to make a decision one way or the other. Both people are getting hurt by his letting anything stop him from going if thats what he needs to do. If he thinks it will be too hard or is confused about leaving then he needs to let the other woman move on. He should make a decision....fast. Its been long enough..

Answer 3

the best way to give you an answer is put yourself in the other woman's place. If this guy comes home to you one night and says he is splitting with you cause he found someone else, would you think he was having an affair, or cheating on you? How would you feel being left out in the cold when he finds a new woman that gives him the things you used to? The odds are this will happen to you at some point, and while you feel like your falling in love now, how do you think things will look in a year? Maybe this guy is the real thing for you and it just happened to work out this way. Maybe your just next in line, only you will know, so try to walk a mile in the other woman's shoes and see how they fit. Good luck.

Answer 4

No, it's doubtful if they've fallen in love with the person with whom they are having an affair. They may call it love but most definitions of love do not include using another person. Men (and women) have affairs because they want something they don't have. It's very likely that they would have the same problem with their affair were they to divorce and marry them.

Answer 5

Men don't have to be in love to have an affair. No matter what a man says is lacking in the marriage, the biggest thing lacking is his character and honesty.

Often they have kids and don't want the expense of a divorce and they don't want a real relationship with the other woman.

Answer 6

No l don't believe that in all cases they fall in love with the person they cheated with. My husband had been cheating on me for 3 years when l found out. He told me that he felt sorry for this thing, that's what l call her. He had worked with her many years before and she contacted him. Apparently she had a car accident and broke her neck, she played on his emotions and it just started off from there. It is certainly not an excuse and she is lucky l didn't get my hands on her ( she lives in a different state ) because if l had it would have been a lot worse than a broken neck. In his case it was a pity thing but still doesn't make it right, which we both know and he has more than tried to make things right between us and is very remorseful. I know he never loved her, it was always me he loved and l know l love him deeply so we have been lucky enough to work through our problems. Needless to say she is definately history and never to be repeated !! We had been having problems for quite awhile, l am certainly not trying to justify what he did. It was certainly wrong but l do believe in second chances and if you love someone enough there is always room for forgiveness and hopefully with time you learn to forget. We are working on it anyway and so far so good.

Answer 7

I think there are 2 possibility.Men who have an affair for that period, might fall for the other party,but he's reluctant to leave the wife because of the kids,or maybe the wife is rich.He's doin it because of lacking something in the marriage just like what you mentioned.

Answer 8

No,i don't think so .I do think intimately he getting what his marriage is lacking.My son says he loves his wife but has asked her in subtle ways to lose weight, I know he is always attracted to a women who stays in shape.His wife has let her self go,he told her when they got married 6 years ago if she got fat he'll be gone.We'll shes fat and he has affairs on the side,but he still loves his wife.

Answer 9

Having an affair with someone for a year does not mean that one is in love. It could mean that each is fulfulling a void for the other person.

Answer 10

Ask them,,,only they know what they are getting in the relationship, but after a year no longer an affair it's a relationship.