How do I make my wife take the first step into making love?

Question

I'm tired of all the time that I have to take the first step into making love, she always acts as if she's not in the mode, or is to tired, so I have to work really hard to get her in the mode. She has never taken the first step. I hate that. And when we finish she always tells me how great it was, But after that it might take about 3 weeks before I make a move again.
Please help with this mater.

Answer 1

I wouldnt make the first move anymore...I would wait till she does, even if she takes a long time_

Answer 2

You fell in love and married her just as she is. You cannot change people. Don't even try. You wouldn't like it if she were trying to change you. The best you can do is figure out why she's not in the mood very often. Is her life hectic? Does she work long or hard hours? Is she juggling a job and home and children? Look for the reason she's tired, then do something to lighten her load and give her time off. You'll find her mood a whole lot better. If she's doing the normal juggle act of work and home or worse yet work, home and kids...give her a night off. Make dinner, do the dishes, get the kids in bed and let her have a long leisurely soak in the tub with a book and a glass of wine. Do not interrupt her privacy or leisure time. Trust me...she'll be so thankful that if you regularly make these attempts, she'll more frequently be in the mood. But as far as her initiating it, that might not change if it's not in her nature. That you may have to live with until she matures and becomes more comfortable...then and only then might it change.

Answer 3

If all is right between me and my husband I only sometimes initiate because I honestly feel shy about it. I know this sounds stupid but I was raised to think sex is not a good thing and now even though I am an adult...I feel weird about it....so maybe this is how your wife feels and if so then I would give her a break. Tell her that being with you is a safe place and make her feel that she really is. Then you better be amazing and wonderful and follow the advice others here have given you about being sweet. Because if you are a jerk after she actually does initiate it will never happen again.

Answer 4

Have you asked her why she never takes the first step? Maybe she doesn't because she doesn't know how or she may think you are not in the mood. Tell her your feelings and ask her her feelings. Communicate with each other and don't assume anything. Don't keep things from each other or you both will find the marriage is doomed.

Answer 5

I think this is a common problem for alot of women. Often times, women are brought up in such a way as to deter them from being outwardly sexual unless they are prompted. To make the first move in the bedroom is to put yourself in a position of dominance, and typically, women are taught (not only through actual teaching of sexuality, but through a constant conditioning) that they aer supposed to be submissive when it comes to sex...to be dominant and be a woman is to be "slutty" or "cheap". This is a problem that I have faced, and it's only been after ALOT of hard work that I am JUST STARTING to feel comfortable with making the first move. Of course, I came to realize long ago that by making the first move, I was not "slutty" or "cheap", especially since I was doing it with my husband, but it was still a hard habit to break. So...

If you push your wife too hard too fast, chances are she will be frightened and in turn simply "turn herself off" to the whole idea of sex. I suggest that you work on being supportive and try to make her feel as sexy as possible whenever possible. You should also work on telling her about your feelings; tell her how sexy you think it is when she takes a little bit of a dominant role. Give it time, and with your support, she will adjust.

Answer 6

the good dr. phil on national tv suggested that if you want sex on friday start foreplay on monday. he didnt mean sexual advances either. kind words here, a gentle touch or caress there. increase the tempo or instances as the week progresses. any way thats what the daytime doc says. all the women in the audience shouted and clapped when he said it..........????maybe its true???




personally, all i have to do is snap my fingers and there we go.........






just kidding.

some peope just arent into sex as much as others. best bet is to get her to talk about it. but before you go that route, make sure you can handle honesty without anger.

Answer 7

i think of ladies do no longer choose the entire weight of the relationship on their shoulders-they do no longer choose to return to a determination the place to pass on dates, what video clips to work out, and so on...for all time, the guy could advise issues they might do at the same time in specific circumstances too, or the female might experience like he's in basic terms a rag doll she contains around everywhere. even although, no female, rather in the western worldwide places, like being informed what to do. they choose to return to a determination for themselves the thank you to gown and what to devour without grievance from an Stalin-ish overlord. So particularly, its all approximately stability for /maximum/ women. some like the guy being on top of issues, on an analogous time as others like being those on top of issues. maximum, even although, choose it to be a appropriate stability between the two the place each and each events opinion concerns and that they might compromise on issues they disagree approximately.

Answer 8

You want her to initiate it, to seduce you, to go down on you and to ride you. Yeah, not going to happen, unless you change what you do throughout the day. Are you romancing her outside the bedroom? Making her feel beautiful and sexy? Not just by telling her, but by showing her? If not, looks like you're stuck being the initiator, but there's an upside to that. If you do what she really, really likes in bed, she'll turn around and do what you like. It doesn't matter who starts it, it matters how it goes all the way through it, and make for damn sure you finish last.

Answer 9

Maybe you should try wining and dining her and not getting anything in return. Sometimes my husband buys me flowers just because he wants to. Then he gives me a kiss on the forehead and goes about his business. He isn't always worried about it, you know. That makes me want him...badly...so I have no choice but to cuddle up when we hit the sheets. Beleive me...all women don't want to seem hungry for sex, but we are...we live for the affections of a man, escpecially if they are "good". Make her feel sexy and she will be.

Answer 10

Women love sex as much as men, but some women think the if they make the first step it makes them look easy....have you tryed talking to her about have you feel...that always works...also buy her lingerie...and tell her to try it on for you that always works for me...