how you deal with friends that are talking bad about you?

Question

...and still pretend that they are your friends.

Answer 1

I can relate. Well first of all, what are they saying about you? Why? It doesn't make sense that they would say bad things and still pretend to be your friends...I think you need to ask yourself if you should really be friends with them. I guarantee you that it is possible to find friends who don't talk bad about you. If you want to try to work it out, talk to them. Otherwise, they aren't worth your time. Their loss.

Answer 2

Not a lot of specifics to go on here ...

First are they talking about you because they're mad about something you did? Or are they just idle gossping about something you'd rather they hadn't blabbed about? Was it something you told in confidence?

All these things take different approaches.

First identify how you feel about it and identify the outcome you want. Then you can try to design an approach that will result in that.

For example, if they are complaining about something you did, then honestly evaluate what happened. The other person might have some valid feelings about it that you should respect. Maybe you owe them an apology, in which case, make it.

Or perhaps if it was something you told in confidence, you know from now on you can't tell that person any such thing and have it stay secret. You don't need to confront them necessarily, just don't confide in them anything important any more.

sorry this is so general, but you don't give much in the way of specifics.

Answer 3

Well for one thing if they were really your friends, they wouldn't be talking badly about you. You should probably non-chalontly confront them and then seek a new network of friends. "Real" friends, the kind that wouldn't talk about you behind your back. real friend will tell you if they have a problem with you and not go around making a soap opera out of it. In anyone's lifetime, they may only find one or two true friends, so don't get too upset about losing these. Good luck.

Answer 4

If you want to be called 2 faced or plastic then you can pretend to be friends and totally ignore what they say behind your back. Or you can confront them and ask if they said all this things and tell them to shape up or not be friends with you anymore.

Answer 5

if someone is talking bad about u they cant be your friends b - coz friends r someone who accept in what ever u r and from my view get new friends ignore them let them feel your importance and if u dont want 2 leave them you should tell them indirectly that u know how they r talking about u in your absence or if u dont want to tell them just start a talk that i dont like persons who do not like someone but pretend or.......................... all the best i had given my views now its your choice and by chance u r leaving themdo ask them that whats the problem

Answer 6

True friends don't and won't talk bad about you, they will be honest with you but that's different than talking bad (usually behind your back). I wouldn't associate with them any longer, you don't need "friends" like that in your life.

Answer 7

1st of all, those aren't friends. here's a good phrase to remember : "With friends, who needs enemies?"

2nd of all, you confront them about it. Tell them you know that they're talking about you & that they're not exactly acting like they're your friends.

3rd of all, don't be their friend afterwards, 'cuz you're just setting yourself up for more drama, which there's enough already.

Answer 8

If what they're saying is not true then they're not friends and I wouldn't pretend that they were.

Answer 9

get use to it people are going to talk about you until the day you die, and still after then. Just be yourself.

Answer 10

Kill them with kindness. They will feel so bad that they will eventually stop talking about you.