As an asylum seeker in your country how do i rip the taxpayer off?

Question

Im a bum from wherever it doesnt matter, i am busy looking for scams to rip off you stupid british. I will be targetting the retarded white liberals specifically as they are the ones who seem to like me the most. ID theft, mugging, car theft, social security fraud the lot im up for anything. Can you please suggest some upmarket white liberal areas on my tour of your country.

Answer 1

OMG, YOU ARE TAKING THE PISS, and as you write this, your British tongue is rubbing furiously in you inner cheek!
If i am wrong, for feck sake, stay where u are!
for all our sakes!

Answer 2

this is particularly worse than that as you in addition to mght pay national coverage And the greater you earn above that non-public allowance the greater severe it gets E.g. on the 2d somebody incomes £26,000 in keeping with year will lose 21% to tax while somebody incomes £40,000 will lose 25% And the two a style of salaries are under the 40% tax value which kicks in at around £40-one,500 yet there are additionally tax responsibilities to pay on appropriate of VAT for some products enable's say you pay £one million.319 in keeping with litre for unleaded petrol. approximately 79p of that is going to those 2 taxes so which you're being charged a cost of 60% tax on each litre of gasoline As for pensions saving you, do not financial enterprise on it. Taxes can bypass up besides as down and if retire while taxes are severe you will end paying greater tax as you could not reinvest an annuity

Answer 3

Seeing as you are an asylum seeker, from another country.

You have it easy. My British government are not very bright.

You don't need any brain power to work this one out.

Let me point out that you do not need to scam anyone.

All you have to do is go down to your local council office and

DEMAND the following:

a house,
a car,
a butler,
an income,
gold and diamond encrusted shoes,
a disable parking badge,
a crocodile skin suit,
and a partridge in a pear tree.

Then you will simpy be provided with all of your hearts desires. Just remember to tell them that you are not British, because they don't like to look after people like who are British and working and paying taxes.

Also, if you feel like getting high, tell them that you have a heroine dependancy, and they will give you some of that too.

And don't worry about the bill, it's on me, and other decent hard working brits.

Answer 4

I dont think you need any advice really. Don't forget to make sure you ask for everything you are entitled to when you go to sign on. There's stuff they don't tell you. You're entitled to lots of stuff even my job if you want it.
Why don't you get a few of your type together and nip down the bbc. On your way there you could call in at the house of commons and see if tony will buy you all a drink.

Answer 5

why bother stealing, just go into your local job center, they will say "as your an immigrant, how much do you want a week sir", dont worry our taxpayers will foot the bill, then they will say where do you want live?, is there enough bedrooms for you? if not you can have another house, have you got a car? oh ok then we will buy you one to get around, have you got a licence for it? no, oh dont worry, if you hit anyone, just carry on driving, then you might get caught and jailed for two months, dont worry its three meals a day, warm, and friendly with telly and all the recents mod cons! is there anything extra you need?, if so just pop back and we will get it for you

Answer 6

anyway you like mate, they all do it,(squatters rights?????? what is that) I as of many will sit back pay my taxes to this country to build a better future for my child. God help me please to save enough to escape this country and buy a house in france/spain and live like a proper tax payer and eventually own my own house like the rest of the world does without having people from other countries taking them from me.
As a kid i remember asking my mum where in the world i came from and being really proud when she told me that im brittish.But not now i feel i am a producer to many who don't deserve it and gain nothing from my government but higher tax rises. It's not fair and we should all make a stand !

Answer 7

Isn't it lucky that you were born into a country of - what was it - retarded white liberals? I mean, all these stupid idiots who want to take their families away from torture, rape and starvation in the name of asylum...how dumb are they? Surely they realise that they are not as good as you and don't deserve to live without fear and degradation. Merry Christmas, and peace on earth to all men (who come from the same country as us).

Answer 8

You know i have just two words for ya!!!!

Richard Cranium...

and that Dear pathetic ibolisic Prankster is the nicer way of calling you a d*ck H*ad

Answer 9

Stupid Idiot - You Little Joker - but what great Idea , Its a Wonder no one hasn,t thought of this before -- thats probably why everyone wants to come here . ?? Freebie Britain

Answer 10

For a start you are not an asylum seeker , you're english is too good, and if you are a asylum seeker , you are already ripping us taxpayers off!!! get a life. Two words spring to mind, they are , DICK and HEAD.