my son is smoking marijuana?

Question

my son is 17yr old and we have caught him smoking pot, we have tried grounding from phone from computer, He is a senior this year and I hate to keep him from going out during what is suppose to be his best yr of high school, I remember being his age and also smoking and drinking, I turned out alright, so I wonder if its ok to see past it. he does good in school, and recently started a job.
should I continue to fight w/ him and keep grounding him?

Answer 1

I think the biggest issue here is his safety. He will smoke pot whether you allow it or not, would it not be better to know he was safe in doing so? I mean where does he buy it, it's it a safe place, will they offer harder things, are they hardened criminal, is it a bad neighborhood etc. Also where is he smoking and how is he getting home is that safe? I think you should openly discuss these things with him and make sure he is not endangering himself. There's no point saying don't smoke pot as it detracts from the more serious issues of harder drugs i.e. if you lie about pot dos that mean you lied about cocaine, let him know it can be okay in a controlled and safe manner and make sure he is acting responsibly in where he buys it, where he smokes it and how he gets home.

Just to clarify as the other answers all seem a bit weird, this is pot right? It is not addictive and is no worse than a couple of beers, It's legal in some states and in Europe, seems your son is doing okay even though he smokes it and so id you - the taobbbaco he uses with it probably dioes him more harm - ignore all the neocon God bothers who answer

Answer 2

Fighting never has a good result long term. Educating him on the effects of marijuana, etc is appropriate...get online together and research it...alot of facts out there for sure! It isn't easy being a parent as well as the same being a teen. But Teens need consistency and structure and guidance and of course love. Telling him you love him , laying down the rules of no maryjane in your home, researching the facts together, talking about his good grades/job and how they may be affected if he continues, even seeking guidance counselor at school for advice are all positive parenting actions. Best to you and your son...you will get through it and he will respect you more later in life. Bless you for being a parent that is involved with their son!

Answer 3

Believe me, grounding doesn't help all that much but keeping an eye on him does. No family wants to admit that their son has a problem. You are not a bad parent! Under pressure from depression or friends a young guy will do most anything! Tell the parents of the friends you think he's smoking with. Tell them you've found pot in your son's room and that you are not saying that their son smokes pot, just letting them know to keep an eye on your son for you. It got so bad with my son, that I finally gave up my pride and told his friends to help me keep him from smoking pot and taking drugs. They then felt that they were in on an important job, and not just a participant in his drug filled life. If your son will not stop using or get help that you pay for, this is the only way to keep him off drugs. Tell him that all his friends parents will soon know about his pot smoking, if he doesn't consent to stop smoking pot! He will say he hates you and even threaten to run away, but he will get over it! Never give up and never accept defeat! Be firm while telling him you expect ceratin standards! If worse comes to worse, someone may need to be with him nearly 24 hours in a day for awhile, if you suspect further drug use. If he sleeps all day and cannot sleep at night this is a sign of drugs in the system. Making him get up in the day, starting working hard, then rest when he needs to, then work some more until he gets tired, will flush the drugs from his system. He will need plenty of rest but make sure he gets up early, every day, and even if he can only work for 5 minutes, have him work, rest for 5, and then work for some more. Do this all morning and if he falls asleep from exhaustion at lunch, let him sleep until the next day, when you start all over again, until he gets those drugs flushed out of his system. I know this sounds drastic, but usually when a parent decides that he needs to ask someone else for help, he suspects more than he's telling! He'll hate you for awhile but you could be saving his life! I am no medical doctor but I know what works. Give him plenty of water and regular meals, if he'll eat, and make sure he goes to bed by 10 PM, if it comes to this. Watch your son carefully. God Bless!

Answer 4

Nothing wrong with marijuana as it is a medicine and is safer then alchahol and pills the only side effect to marijuana smoking or eating is that you get really hungry and forget things in the fridge lol. im 28 and I use marijuana to help me get through college as well as get through my anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD, ADHD, anarexia and insomnia as well as bi-polar.... yeah im screwed mentally without it. my friends aunt snokes marijuana to cure her cancer and its getting rid of it its in remission only since she started smoking... I know you wont listen to any of this or you will and think its crap anyways but none the less they will do it more if you say no. my kids can smoke in the house and I would rather it in my house then some drug party where they end up doing more then weed... weed is nothing but mdma heroin meth and booze are killers and there everywhere, please promote safe medicine everywhere

Answer 5

He will continue smoling until HE decides to stop. Further punishment WILL put a damper on your relationship. Be frank with him. Ask him why he smokes and remind him that he is hampering his future and you will have no part in that. After HS he will have to make choices and if he expects your support, he will need to submit a little. Since he is nearly of age, inform him that you will not tolerate this type of behavior in your home or having him come home stoned and that if gets himself into any trouble from his habit that you will not "bail him out".
Some family counseling may be helpful.

Answer 6

you are right to ground him, if you did nothing after he was caught then he would try to find another boundary to push at, I'm only 21 so i remember living in my parents house, i was given rules to follow and if i didn't i was punished (grounding, extra chores, etc.) i saw my friends who grew up with out getting discipline from their parents, 2 live on the street trying to afford their drug habits and 1 is a divorced mother of 2 that doesn't have custody of her kids who smoked through all of her pregnancies (she got pregnant about 5 times but only gave birth twice). The girls that got good discipline (the ones who got mad at their parents when they were not allowed to certain things) that i still talk to are either in college, the military, married, or working good steady jobs. you are doing the right thing, he may get mad at you now but in the future he will understand that you are not being evil or unfair but that you want him to life a good and full life, not one full of drugs that would probably end fairly quickly.

Answer 7

Been there, done that with my son too.
I also drank and dabbled in drugs when I was in high school.

But I never disrespected my parents or their house by doing it in our home. I was furious when I found it. Then to try and deny it to me!?!?!? Like I am so dumb I don't know what it looks like and smells like?

I chose the fighting route. I was not going to have that cr@p in my house. You will honestly have to make the decision that will best serve you and the needs of your son. I wish I could give you a great answer--but this is a situation you will have to come to terms with based on you individual situation.
Do keep in mind though, if it were ever turned in, you could be busted and arrested for this stuff in your house.

Answer 8

If you argue and fight with him, there's a chance he won't listen and your relationship will not be so good. As a 17 year old I also believe that putting a stop to it could be the best thing that happened to both of you. You could save him from a life of uselessness. I've seen some of the smartest and most likeliness to suceed have their life ripped apart because of drugs. After continued use you won't have to see him do it, you'll automatically recognize the difference in his attitude.

Answer 9

Pull out the facts. Does your kid listen to you? Will he do what you ask? Does he respect you enough to value your opinion? Find out what he expects to get out of life. See if he thinks he's going to get a job where they don't do drug tests and backround checks. Does he want to go to college? My ex- brother in law was on his way to college and ended up spending tuition money on pot and crystal meth.He's now 32 and is working at a little burger joint in kansas city and lives in a shelter because he can't stop doing drugs.

Answer 10

Teach him to not drink-drinking will kill you

Teach him to reposnsibly use marijuana- you cant overdose on pot

Praise the natural highs he gets from life and let him know you have a zero tolerance for any other drugs.