Can you trust your spouse after they cheat?

Answer 1

I think that really depends on each person. However, my husband cheated on me with a coworker. I did not feel that I could trust him again mainly because he would not admit it and when he was caught he tried to blame me for everything. In my case I did not see where I could trust him again if he did not see what he had done wrong in the first place. You can always give them a second chance and just stay on your guard. Make it very clear that if it happens again that it is over and stick to it. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I think that is very personal. You can choose to trust your spouse or you can be miserable and think he/she is cheating again. How you deal with it is totally up to you. There are lots of men and women who cheat once and who never cheat again. There are also men and women who keep on cheating. You need to find out the reason why they felt the need to cheat....was there something lacking in the marriage? If there was try to work on a solution. Thinking your spouse is cheating doesnt change any outcome anyway. If he/she is going to cheat they are going to do it no matter what you think. I chose to trust my husband after I caught him cheating. I decided I wasnt going to make my life miserable by thinking he was going to cheat again. I believed he wouldnt. Silly me because he did, numerous times. What I am saying really is that he was doing it all along, I just lived a lot happily believing he was not cheating and even if I suspected he was cheating it wouldnt have made a difference to the outcome...do you know what I mean? He was just an excellent deceiver and I dont blame myself for that because he acted like he loved me.....I felt loved and until the proof was staring me in the face that he was cheating, then there was no reason to think that he was.

I guess you can live with your spouse doubting where he/she is all the time, or you can choose to believe she has learnt her lesson and will not do it again. Whatever promted your spouse to cheat in the first place is what is of most importance....work that out and you may just have the perfect relationship. You can make a conscious choice whether to trust or not to trust. You just have to believe in yourself and that is easier said than done because cheating is the ultimate betrayal and kinda tells you, you are not good enough, so feeling confident and good about yourself is easier said than done. After I found out he was still cheating on me, thats when I lost all my confidence, thats when my self esteem did a big nose dive. I was confident up to that point. Then all I had were doubts. I trusted him once and he stuffed it up. I couldnt trust him a second time. I think once can be a mistake, twice a total disrespect for your spouses feelings.

If your spouse is serious and doesnt want to cheat, then thinking he/she is, will only make the relationship go sour. Your spouse made the mistake, you took him/her back, now get on with the rest of your life. Put it in the past, choose to trust, work on whatever problems there may be in the marriage. But if heshe does it again, then it has to be over because you will have no option but not to trust. Without trust, any relationship is doomed to failure.

Be good to yourself, dont deliberately make yourself miserable by thinking the worst. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment...everyone is entitled to make one mistake. If your spouse makes the same mistake again, then it is no mistake.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

It boils down to how much you love your spouse. Trust is always a work in progress when it comes to relationships. People make mistakes and cheating is one of the bigger mistakes in life. Can it be overcome, yes. But it takes a lot of patients and love.

Answer 4

How was your relationship prior to cheating? Did the one who cheated cheat with an old flame or a close friend? If the cheating was done with an old flame or close friend, I would have a hard time trusting them and count my losses and go on about my business. If it was a fling due to a midlife crisis or out of anger toward the other person , then maybe you could make some changes and iron out your differences. maybe it's worth it, maybe not.

Answer 5

It depends on the individual who was cheated on. Do you love your partner enough to forgive him/her and to have him/her earn back your trust? I divorced my first husband for cheating. My second husband got two chances. Now in my third marriage, it's in the back of my head that he may cheat. In fact he sometimes gives me reason to believe that he has but I have no proof. Therefore, I have told him numerous times after he has given me reason to know that should I ever find that he has cheated then he may as well know that the marriage is over and he'll be sorry he ever met me. Get my drift. YES...once a cheater...always a cheater. Who are u kidding?

Answer 6

Trust is a very hard emotion to get back. Been there, done that, it just never feels the same. If your really in love and are commited to making it work, then you should try. But there will always be that little voice saying... can I really trust you? In my world cheaters are the lowest.

Answer 7

No.

It will take time and considerable time watching them which is what the cheater does not understand. They feel as if once it is out the bag and they say that they are sorry that it is then over with and trust is back again. Not so fast or easy.

Best of luck

Answer 8

Sometimes yes sometimes no. Cheating quite often just isn't an affair but the beginning of another relationship. You will never know if that other person is lingering out their with hopes of their own. Often times encouraged by secret meetings.

Answer 9

Absolutely not. Trust me I'll never do it again is nothing, but a lie. If you're going to stay with them, it will take a long time to get over it and unfortunately you never will. After a situation like that, you have to keep them closer than your enemies.

Answer 10

It all depends on your relationship and previous trust in them as well as your relationship history. If adultery has never been an issue, then this is a new issue for you to deal with. I would suggest being completely honest, having time alone, and even seeing a relationship therapist.