why things change when you got married too early?

Question

i 've been with my husband since i was 15, got pregnant at 16 got married when i turned 18 now i have 3 daughter 12 , 8 and 3years i love my kids a lot they the reason i live for.what i am triyng to say is .i think i regret my life now,i dont regret having my kids but if i was given another chance i will do it different.now my husband is not the same loving guys that i used to know 13 years ago.ours sex life is not good we argue all the time ,i dont like been around him. things change completely,so i think getting married too early is a bad thing you not prepared enough,you dont have fun in life,man its sucks

Answer 1

Every marriage- married young or older will change and get boring @ times If you let it
You both need time together away from the problems, worries, kids to reconnect
You need to date your spouse all over again

Answer 2

It should be illegal to get married or have children before 25. It really should. The honeymoon is usually over quick and reality sets in. It's not this way in all cases, some marriages really are made in heaven, the majority however are not. One of the biggest problems is that men like variety. It's instinctual, and has little to do with romantic love. The old lady starts looking less and less attractive, and that bookkeeper at work, better and better. He starts feeling trapped, drowning in his own hormonal soup. That's when the arguments start, the sex dwindles, and the disgust and loathing slowly emerge. But you're trapped! You need his wallet, and he doesn't want to lose a big chunk of his income to child support and maybe alimony. You both go on and live unsatisfying lives of quiet desperation until you can't take it anymore and finally go through a bitter divorce. A year later, he's living with the bookkeeper and realizing he's in the same situation and you weren't all that bad. You have slept your way through half the bars in town, and finally found a guy who doesn't beat your kids. He's been married a couple of times, isn't employed and likes to sit around on the couch and watch the tube and drink beer all day. It's better than nothing though, and that's when something horrible happens. You get pregnant! You can't kick him out, you'll never get child support out of this bum, you wonder what you saw in him, you question your sanity. He ends up watching the new baby while you work, at least it saves the daycare. Then one day he's get cleaned up and gets a job. You're overjoyed, ecstatic. Six months later, he takes off with the company bookkeeper. It's a vicious circle, and getting married early makes sure you're in it.

Answer 3

I think you answered your own question my dear.At that age sometimes we feel we know everything and no one knows better what we want then ourselves.Unfortunately, like yourself ,it doesn't turn out the way we thought it would.
Most of us would do many things different if we had the chance but I'm glad you don't regret having your children and you love them.Reasure them that the arguments you have has nothing to do with them.
Maybe you could talk to your husband (if you haven't already)and tell him you miss the good times you use to have together.Make time for one another.Go out again now and then and have some fun.You are both still young and should be enjoying life.If not spend more time doing things with your children and maybe go out yourself once in awhile with some friends.
Give yourself time to think things over before deciding anything you may regret again.I hope things work out for you and happier days come soon.

Answer 4

I think that maybe you are just feeling a little bummed, which can happen. I am a young wife/mother of 3 boys (2 months, 2 yrs. and 8 yrs.). I met my husband when I was 14 yrs old and have been with him ever since though we waited until I was 22 to get married. Young parents have a tough road ahead because if they are responsible it can feel as though life has passed them by. I have felt that way off and on since I had my son at 17. I would see all of my friends out having a good time, dating, taking trips, going out late and getting to sleep in and I would envy them. Well, those feelings fade and I remember to be thankful for my family, my husband and our children. Try to look at the positives in your life and focus on them. Reconnect with your spouse. Marriage and children are huge responsibilities that can feel like burdens if looked at wrong. Good luck!

Answer 5

Man, you sound exactly like my mom... Mom is that u under an anonymous name. lol. My mom got pregnant at 15 and married at 16. MOre than likely, the man doesn't change. He's been the same since the daay he started puberty, you just haven't had time to discover the real him. More often than not, when you do discover the true him, it's ugly. It's sad because it's hurting your kids more than it is you. Believe it or not, but I truely feel that way. I can't tell you how many times my mom has filed for divorce and how many times I have begged her to go through with it. She always blamed me. I'm staying for my kids, but I'm seventeen and honestly believe I would have had a better life with two adresses. I'm not saying get out. Just seriously talk to him. Maybe get counseling if you think it will help. My parents at one point went and it was a great temopary fix and added fire to their once blazing flame. It gave them a safe place to work things out and encouraged nonviolence, physical and emotional.

Answer 6

Well, I was married at 19, in a hurry to get away from my chaotic family. I didn't really make goals for myself other than to get married and escape. So now I am totally dependent on him. But I did end up going to college and getting a Bachelor's Degree, after the kids came.

Your life isn't over. It is what you make of it. You have to make goals for yourself and try to achieve them. If you don't you will be bored and dissapointed. If hubby is ignoring you, take up a hobby, make new friends, learn something new, read a book to get your mind off your problems.

Answer 7

I too got married young and what I found is that I knew my husband but I didn't know the world. Everything was harder because we were learning life and each other at the same time. Experience changes people. At that young age you naturally grow apart because you haven't learned how to grow together.

Answer 8

pple changes over time. get some time out, go for a trip wf your hubby for a couple of days n bring back the romance & passion u both had in the beginning. create new ways to enjoy, just the both of you. you can't be tied to your children forever. really got to make some special time wf your husband.

Answer 9

You started everything too early. You were still forming yourselves as people. And because you were still maturing, the additional responsibilities were not handled successfully. That's the short, but true story.

Answer 10

because y'all got married too early and didn't get to experience life Together longer..y'all really didn't get to enjoy life,and do what y'all wanted to do,and have good times with each other as well as other people,