I care too much about being liked. It bothers me tremendously if I'm in someone's bad books. From a very young age I would go over conversations and worry about what I should or shouldn't have said or done. Thoughts like these would bother me for days. I still have this problem. I've tried not caring but it's harder than I thought.
How do I get rid of the desire to always be approved of?
2006-11-26 11:10:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Consider that it is your own approval you are seeking, not that of another. If you approve of what you are doing, you don't worry about what somebody else is thinking. If you don't approve of what you're doing, then you are projecting your own disapproval onto another.
Acts, conduct can be evaluated according to whether it causes negative reactions to others. Be aware of your conduct and avoid acting in a way that causes harm to others. If you don't cause harm by your conduct, good. If your conduct, in spite of your best intentions, causes harm, not good. But, remember, either way, you are still doing the best you can. So, if you're doing your best, be satisfied that you have done your best. If others have issues with your conduct, that is their issue, not yours. Also, if you have issues with another's conduct, it is your issue, not theirs. Don't judge yourself and don't judge others. Set your intentions to live your life for your own goals; remember you will always do the best you can. Don't waste your time judging today what you did yesterday...you can only act and make decisions on what you know at the time you make the decision, not on what you learn later. So you will always do the best you can. Since it is your best, whatever another thinks about you is their issue, not yours...you know you did your best.
2006-11-26 12:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is hard to do. I'm in a fight right now with someone and its driving me crazy because of everyone its affecting. I feel like people are judging me and making decisions based on their impression of this conflict. I avoid the entire situation in order to keep away from the people I know are mad at me. The whole reason nothing is improving is because of my resistance to confrontation and making someone unhappy. Instead I live my life in this way and am really bothered by the way things are happening in my life.
It helps to have people who are objective and who can point out when you are justified in how you feel about someone or a situation. They can also call you out when you are being the one causing the problem. Keeping things playing over and over in your head has a way of changing the reality of the situation and you remember it much worse than it was.
Look around and you will see that a lot of people don't seem to care at all what people think of them. Their lives are not necessarily better, just different. It is good to be sensitive to how people react to you, but finding the right balance is important. Maybe force yourself to say what you want or do what you want regardless of how you think people are reacting.
2006-11-26 11:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by summer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start realizing those people you crave approval from could care less about getting yours. Think it in different words if you want, but that's what it boils down to, being able to see yourself as a person with your own set of needs to care for and not to worry about something that might not even matter.
2006-11-26 11:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask more questions here.
There are bound to be a few rude dogs who will critique your question instead of answering.â¥
2006-11-26 18:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by iowamystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
build your self esteem.
2006-11-26 11:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋