My ex-husband and I are still residing in the same household. Our split was amicable and without lawyers. We still reside together primarily for financial purposes but he has made plans to move out by the first of the year. Although there is no romance or sexual tension in our relationship, I still find myself extremely jealous now that he has begun to date. He tells me everything about them (the girls) even how they don't measure up to me. This is beginning to take a toll on me emotionally. Because he still pays bills in the household while I finish school, I feel awkward telling him that I don't want to hear any of this.
Any advice on how to end this barrage of details gently?
2006-11-26 11:06:51 · 14 answers · asked by tigress_4_life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bring home a date of your own, see what his reaction is, if it pisses him off, reconcile...
2006-11-26 11:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi; Been there, done that. It is very natural to feel a bit of jealousy, I know I did. If he is moving out at the first of the year then that is truly the end. Hon, don't be gentle about it - tell him flat out that you find all this unwanted information offensive!!!! Your darned right this is taking an emotional toll on you - tell him he is hurting you and to knock it off immediately if not sooner. You should have gotten a lawyer to represent your interests. I am a lady CPA with a minor in law and if you are relying on him to keep paying the bills while you finish school, you could very well get a "rude awakening" if he bails out on you. For your own protection, get him to financially commit to you IN WRITING and preferably have it witnessed by a third party. A new girlfriend of his, who is the jealous type could very well jeopardize your financial security. Go talk to a lawyer asap!!!!!
2006-11-26 11:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling jealousy towards the other women he is dating and he is telling you that he is comparing them to you ("they don't measure up to me"). It sounds like the two of you still have feelings for each other that need to discussed. He's still confiding in you as though you were his best friend. Either that or he's trying to make you jealous. Or both? And why would he want to make you feel jealous? Because he still has feelings for you.
Marriage is not easy and takes alot of work. Your marriage vows state "for better or for worse". Well, this is one of the worst times that you need to get through. The fact that your split was amicable and you are still able to live together tells me that you both have a great deal of respect and love for each other.
The two of you need to sit down and have an honest and completely open discussion about your feelings for each other. Then find a good marriage counsellor.
I wish you both luck!
2006-11-26 18:52:32 · answer #3 · answered by devils'littleangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are glad that you and him are still on speaking terms but that you really feel that his personal life is none of your business now. maybe you can come to an agreement that you will only discuss the parts of your lives that still pertain to each other like household issues. I am soon to be separated from my husband and still live in the same house together but the only time we speak is to scream insults at each other. good luck
2006-11-26 12:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my ex for a while. It reminded me why we got a divorce. lol
It sounds like you still love him. Like someone else said, being home a date of your own and see how he handles it. If he's pissed, perhaps you two should try to work things out.
If it doesn't annoy him, just understand that this is for the best, and that there is someone out there for whom you are much better suited.
2006-11-26 11:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him finish paying the Bills and you concentrate on school. Make this a positive experience by bettering yourself. If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger. Get your degree, get a job, and show the Boy that you don't need him!
2006-11-26 11:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by 112 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you still have feelings even if the divorce was the beest decision and don't ask any questions about his personal life if he receives phone calls that sound like one of his candidates then leave the room and don't discuss your dating life either. this will just end up in a jealousy /mind game.
2006-11-26 11:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is hard but what is harder is when you suffer financially. My sister's friend use to live live with her husband like this. She decided to divorce so she can find someone else. Its hard to find a descent guy. She does not even have a dollar for coffee anymore.
2006-11-26 11:12:16 · answer #8 · answered by observer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel awkward telling him you don't want to hear about his "friends".
He should have respect enough for you, not to.
Good Luck.
2006-11-26 11:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him u noe what i like that we talk but u noe we use to be together and i really dont like talkin about ur love life because i noe for a fact i was saying my love life to u would be alittle mad.
2006-11-26 11:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Fofo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋