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I will begin mentoring a 13 year old girl later this week. I'm 23, so I'm kinda rusty on what 13 year olds are in to these days. Also, she's a special case because she was raped at 11 years old. Her mother wants me to try to help this young lady b/c she's expressing her anger in violent ways and dressing provocatively since the incident. Does anyone have any advice, on how to help bring out her inner "princess" and build her self confidence?

2006-11-26 11:05:45 · 17 answers · asked by Pinkie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

17 answers

Just be a good role model. Do things with her that are fun, exciting, and MATURE. Be yourself, and have fun. Don't let her know that you know about her situation.

2006-11-26 11:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Avoid junk food Drink lots of water Avoid soda Eat fruit every time you think of snack Be active - play some sports at school or with friend in your community. Eat in moderation - control your portions. Know when enough is enough. You will be fine, if you follow these simple steps and make it a second nature. You're still young, so you have time to grow. Good thing that you're thinking about it. However, if you really start gaining weigh and these simple steps can't help, seek some assistance from a specialist. Good luck!

2016-03-12 23:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

When this happens to children they have a problem with self esteem. More than anything else you have to build her up. If she is wearing provocative clothes, etc. then you can try to steer her in a different direction. The problem with emotions when a child is compromised sexually is that unconsciously they view themselves a used goods or soiled goods - which is at the seat of the self loathing and self esteem issues. She thinks she has been rendered a sex object and she is playing the part because sex is the only tool she has right now. You have to transfer her thoughts to more useful life tools.

2006-11-26 11:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, I think doing something active is would be nice! Most girls her age like to dance, or swim, or run, or do something like that. Maybe you could sign you and her up for some water activity, like kayaking, canoeing, swimming (maybe a water park?), going on a fishing trip, or something like that. You could ask her what sports she likes, and then do something oriented towards that sport. (Like baseball, you could take her to a batting cage, if she likes football, you could play with her in the park, or take her to a game, etc). You could also take her to the movies, take her to an art place, take her to a amusement park, take her roller blading/iceskating etc.

For bringing out her "princess", you should probably just try to be as much of a friend as you can be. Then, when she talks to you, you can listen, and that will help her become more confident. You could offer to take her shopping, and if she wants to get something that you don't think is acceptable for her to wear, gently explain why it isn't.

2006-11-26 11:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by Supernova 4 · 0 0

This may be harsh but you have to be strict yet able for her to express herself. Victims of abuse usasally become sexual active at a young age and from what your saying it is starting to show. Teach her dressing provocatively is not acceptable and limit what see watches on TV. Our media is very good at making little girls dress like 21 year old prostitutes. Shield her from dangerous influences..ie MEDIA,bad friends. You schould get her involved in sports or anything positive that will boost her self confidence.

2006-11-26 11:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If she's 13, she probably likes music, boys, movies, and the general Hollywood stuff. Probably at first, just hang out and do stuff she likes to do. Try to get her into a sport or some extra-curricular activity. Just make sure you don't pressure her into trusting you, or changing. That's the quickest way to make her pull away.

2006-11-26 12:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lynna J 4 · 0 0

do things that focus on her abilities not her looks. I wouldn't say anything about the way she dresses at first but tell her that other things she does are great! Take her to do something she enjoys, if she likes art you can take her to make a pot or dish in a potting class. Or you can take her to the batting cages is she likes sports...that is a great way to get rid of anger in a good way.

Don't focus on her looks, make her realize that she is special because of what she can do not what she looks like!

2006-11-26 11:08:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hmmm, sounds like she has things all figured out, and no worse for wear due to the rape. It even sounds like it wasn't too much of a rape either. Rape victims don't usually start dressing like hookers unless they were to start with.

But yes, I have some advise for you,...don't get involved with that girl. She may start acting up and blame you as a negitive influence and you could get in trouble trying to help.

Ask yourself why her mother isn't the mentor that she is supposed to be. She IS her mother after all. And a real prize winner too I'd imagine.

RUN !!!!

2006-11-26 11:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Right 4 · 0 2

Even though ur thes same sex... Make sure you take great care not to put yourself in a situation that could look bad. Share with her from your heart, but be careful not to let her minipulate the situation. Show her good ways to express her anger, get her to keep a emotions journal... Like I did this and felt this...

2006-11-26 11:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by drivingi75 2 · 0 0

Do Things She Likes Not What Anyone Else Says

2006-11-26 13:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by Soccer Fan 1 · 0 0

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