Married for many years and love her. Tried to deny my attraction to men but it is the hardest thing to do. Would love to be with one man who can appreciate my circumstances.
2006-11-26 09:57:37 · 23 answers · asked by beegee 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No! Explain your feelings to her, and leave it to her to decide! If she is angered, talk divorce. If she understands, why break a GREAT marriage?
2006-11-26 10:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Horse With No Name 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess it depends on how important sex is to you. If it's more important than your love for your wife, then you need to leave. My husband's father is gay, but tried to deny it when my husband was a baby. My MIL was very hurt when he left, but she understood that he didn't feel he could deny that part of him.
On the other hand, my husband and I have *joked* that if he should discover he's got the gay gene after 10 years together, he's going to have to deny that part of him, because he agreed to be married & faithful to me, his best friend, forever. Is that a respectful deal to make? I'm not sure. It seems respectful to me, but then sex (while wonderful) isn't extremely important to me, it's just one part of the whole bunch of things that make up our relationship. I don't want to be sexist, but I suspect the average man functions differently and for him, sex is of primary importance.
In any event, you absolutely can not sleep with anyone without her consent. That isn't respectful to either of you. If having sex with men is that important to you, then it's important enough to not be sneaking around.
2006-11-26 10:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by silverkitte1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is what happens in a society that looks down on homosexuality. Shame on you for living a lie to live a more comfortable life. It didn't work out. Explain the situation to your wife, but don't have sex with men until your divorced.
2006-11-26 10:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO!
What makes you think you can do that?
Who gave you the right? Not God.
Yeah im pissed, but your being a little child.
I want what I want and I dont care who I hurt, even If I love them.
CRAP.
Honestly. GROW UP. YOU LOVE HER. Do you really want to hurt her like that?
Were guys, we are hecka sexual by nature. That wont change, But who you like can. ALL THIS CRAP- I CANT FIGHT THE WAY IM WIRED JUNK. Makes me want to hurl. I know people that thought that and God set them free of it and guess what, they found out satan was lying to them that it would be that way forever. IT WONT BE!
Im sick....Im done....Grow up is all I have to say. You made a life long commentment. TELL DEATH DO US PART, not THAT HOTER PERSON COMES ALONG! Childish. Be a MAN and a HUSBAND TO YOUR WIFE!
If this is a slap in the face to anyone, I dont care, its truth.
2006-11-26 10:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by robertt223 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you more in love with the notion of finding Mr Right or in your Wife?
Which is more important, staying in your existing relationship or looking for another?
Look inside yourself and find out which is more important.
Either way, be honest with her. She is your Partner, now.
If you decide to look for Mr Right, good luck. I hope you find happiness. If you stay with her, then Good luck I wish you well.
Only you can make this decision, b sure to think it through fully before commiting.
2006-11-26 10:37:24 · answer #5 · answered by saopaco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are still immature enough to have no respect for your wife and think your wants are more important than her needs, the best thing you can do for her is get out of her life.
Your behaviour says loudly and clearly that you don't love her. At this point in your life you should already know that love had got nothing do do with how you feel, and everything to do with how you act.
2006-11-26 10:06:46 · answer #6 · answered by displacedyankee 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The only thing I have to say is that you need to be truth full to yourself and learn o accept and love who you are. Talk to some professional help and then get your life together and stop lying to everyone because is not fair to you & your family.
2006-11-26 10:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rather or not you prefer men, or women, is secondary to the lies and deception you are giving to your wife.
You vowed to love honor and cherish her, above all others. Not just above all other females. And you are not doing that.
Leave her, and pursue whatever it is that makes you happy. To lie is not fair to her, or you.
2006-11-26 10:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by Gem 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If I were you I would get out of marriage first. It is better to tell her than to let her catch you in the act. If she loves you then she will understand. Good luck.
2006-11-26 10:00:42 · answer #9 · answered by ladiebugg81 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if you have wanted a man for all these years then you have never really been happy with yourself, you must face the facts and move on now its not fair to her or you to stay in the relationship.
2006-11-26 10:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by luwhodude 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋