I sometimes wonder if anyone has a perfect life. I constantly compare my life to others my age and see that they are happier and more successful than me.
In my case, my marriage did not work, child lives with my ex-husband and did not come out as I wanted and my career is not where it should be.
I see others in happy marriages with children who are well-adjusted and doing well in school and feel so bad.
What did I do to deserve such a bad life? I wonder why my life is so bad compared to others.
Do they really have a perfect life or are their troubles just less than mine and they are able to face them?
Its a difficult question.
2006-11-26 09:48:46 · 21 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, no one has a "perfect" life. Everyone has problems, issues, challenges, discontent with family and/or friends, bad days at work, bad hair days (unless you're bald), bad "luck" etc.
There is no perfection in life. What there is though is being satsfied with our choices or trying to improve choices we've made that weren't so great...
Your life is what you make it. So your marriage did not work...that is unfortunate but because it ended, doesn't mean it didn't "work". It simply didn't work for the rest of your lives. Few relationships nowadays will last 'til death. What the ending of your marriage means for you, is that you now have the opportunity, should you choose to take it, for a relationship with someone else. Who knows...that one might last for the fairy tale "forever"
Your child lives with your ex? Does that mean you'd rather the child live with you? If so...what can you do to help that happen...or is it best the child be with your ex?
The child didn't "come out as you wanted"? Well, that's because s/he is an individual and not a clone of you. For good or bad, that child will be the person his/her genes and environment make himher. Hopefully it'll be a good thing.
Career...if you don't like it, change it. Work harder, change jobs...go back to school.
You sound like someone in mid-life crisis...you're looking around and seeing what others have that you do not (you're not noticing the others who are just like you, unhappy with what they've accepted out of life) and fussing about...
...fussing won't change anything. It's tough..i know (I'm 41 and nothing about my life is as I would have hoped it would be...but I've got so much more than so many others and I know if I want to be happy, it's 100% in my control and no one else's so I've no one to be upset with but me if I'm not happy).
There's nothing difficult at all about your question...there is no perfection...just people who choose to be happy and do what it takes to make it so.
If you want to be happy, you have to do that to. Make it so.
2006-11-26 09:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, quit comparing. You are not them and vice versa. What a perfect life to one just might be misery to another. Maybe those other couples are putting on a happy face when inreality there are the worlds most miserable couple with debt up to their ears. There is always someone else out there with a oorst life then yours. Are you happier than you were 10 or 20 years ago and are you where you expected to be? If not, why not? We all make our own life so if we are unhappy then we have only ourselves to blame for it, and also we have the ability to change it if we dont like it. So compare your life only to where you want to be from where you came. And who knows those people you compare yourself to actually may be wanting to be you with what you have. Remember not all seems as it appears, and its not having what you want but wanting what you have!
2006-11-26 10:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think the only one with a perfect life would be Barbie and Ken, but even then it would still not be perfect because who would want to be made of plastic? And as for my life, it's seems pretty perfect to me . I guess it depends on your definition of 'perfect'. I think of it as being loved and loving back. I don't think its a matter of people being able to face a problem easier. I'm sure it's just as hard. I think its the ammount of love behind them helping them through their problems. I'm definite not saying that you have no love in your life. I'm sure you do, but I think support is a big thing. I don't think anyone really ever gets a bad life because they deserve it, I think its just the way you look at it. Like half empty half full type thing, you could say that everything bad is happening in your life, or you could look at all the good things that are happening in your life, instead of comparing yourself to people who seem to be more 'perfect' than you compare your life to that of a poor homeless person who is probably wondering the same thing as you. "Why is my life like this what did I do?" I'm only in grade nine so I'm sure I don't exactly have much experience in how you feel right now, but it's what I think. Hope I helped you.
2006-11-26 10:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to ask yourself what you want out of life. While you can't change the past, the present and future are yours. If you're unhappy with your job, work harder or switch to something that you'll enjoy more. If you want your kid back, build up your life then file for custody. If you want a happy marriage, go out and date.
But first you need to accept that while life has dealt you a bad hand, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. The man with millions wanted it so badly, he didn't let anyone stop him or tell him he didn't deserve it. You deserve happiness, but it won't fall from the sky. You have to want it and believe that you deserve it. Then go for it.
2006-11-26 09:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been through a couple things you have. BAD marriage, violent, was cheated on, blah blah blah. Finally officially divorced Oct 27th this year! That increased my happy level. I am pregnant with a 3rd child (from some one else, ex and I were seperated for over a year before the divorce) the other man and I are not together, he is an alcoholic, only comes by to say hi to me and his baby when he is drunk. I told him not to come by drunk anymore, hadn't seen him for 5 months haha.. I live with my parents, I sleep on a couch, I do not work, but I am enrolled in an online college degree program. I am very very happy- I might not be where I wanted to be when I dreamed about "what I wanted to be when I grew up" who wants to be a divorcee with 3 children and 2 seperate fathers living at their parents house by the time they are 24? OH YA! I dreamed that one up! haha
happiness is relative
Be happy with what you have, accept your current situation, and figure out things that you absolutly hate about your life, but have the power to change, and then start working on that change. Your life is what you make of it.
2006-11-26 09:56:35 · answer #5 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-17 14:08:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can never compare yourself with another person. life was never meant to be easy, hurt comes to the good as well as the evil people. looks as if sometimes some people's lives are better, but in reality they just don't react to the things as someone else would. does matter who we are married to, or who our boyfriend is. we have to just keep on trying and not give up, as our break could be just around the corner. life isn't easy requires alot of work, and patience, and prayer. get some therapy for your self worth, that matters alot when we don't think enough of ourselves, because our life stinks. got to have more faith and hope for your future even if u can't see it yet.
2006-11-26 10:18:21 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few minutes ago, I disclosed to this group the fact that my wife of 19 years has fallen out of love and wants to divorce...I feel your pain. All I can sayy is look deep within yourself and be perfectly honest with yourself. Maybe you have old issues that you've buried, but still negatively affect you as these old seeds bloom weeds. I hear you and all I can say is begin pulling these weeds out by their roots. It's no fun to pull wees, and it's a lot of work to be sure. Hang in there and take some time to find a quiet place and introspect on the many chapters of your life and how you've come to be where your currently at. Don't be to hard on yourself though...Just begin the process of Identifying areas to improve on. We al have our issues, but your the pnly one who can find that peace once you're truly honest with yourself and others. Peace.
2006-11-26 10:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think nobody has a perfect life. it is just like saying the ' grass is greener on the other side' without actually being there yet. every one has one challenge or the other. it is just that the degree varies and some have a more beautiful/happy lives than others!
2006-11-26 09:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by wittybaby 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing or no one are perfect.
people have ways of covering up their sadness and failures.
you can be best assured that not all those happy people are completely happy.
sometimes it takes downfalls to build a stronger wall in life.
Facing them is one solution and never giving up is the other
stay tough and keep on trying.
2006-11-26 09:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋