Married/Engaged people: How do you know if the person in "the one"???

Question

Ive been with my bf for 2 years and am pretty happy. I get annoyed bc he never has money bc hes getting ready to start school again and in the middle of a career change. when he isnt worried about finances, hes fun to be around, but i hate how he is when he has the stress. how do you know if this person is right for you? Did you ever have doubts or question it? Even after fights? Were there any big differences that were hard to overcome or questioned if it would work? money, religion, ethics..? different perspectives on them?

Answer 1

Everyone has shortcomings, but after 2yrs you should know his and it sounds like youre willing to accept him as is. There is not now or ever has been a manual in finding Mr Right and knowing if he/she is the perfect one for you. Everyone questions if they made the right choice or not but keep going and after awhile the questions eventually become an acceptance instead or are just too old to care anymore. It sounds like he has chosen to try and ignore the biggest stress (finances) in his life, so to deal with all the rest. True love does unite and conquer. maybe he figures youre better when it comes to money affairs and just lets you handle them. Its Mother Natures law that when two of anything unite, sooner or later there will always be confrontations over something. We are all people with our own ideas and opinions and sometimes they clash with those of the one we are closest to. There has to be some kind of glue that has kept you two together for 2yrs and all lifes little challenges so maybe itll keep you together for some time to come. Good luck

Answer 2

I believe that if you have doubts now that you should not marry. It isn't a good sign and things will not improve after marriage. Also, differences in religion, ethics.. all of that is very important. I never believed it until I married a man who had been raised completely opposite of me. He came from a small, wealthy, distant family with no religion. I came froma big, close, warm, Italian, religious family. I had some doubts which I called "nerves" when we were engaged. Once we had children together, our differences couldn't be tolerated. Now we are divorced and I am dating a man who is much more like my brothers and family. I know that he isn't perfect but what I find so fascinating is that even when I am totally angry at him, I still love him. Nothing ever changes that essential feeling. Take your time. When in doubt, don't do it. The decision is too important to not be absolutely sure!!

Answer 3

If there is a doubt, then be careful. It must be someone that you feel perfectly comfortable around. It must be someone that you completely trust.

Don't depend upon feelings - feelings can change according to mood and over the years. make sure that it is someone who you know shares you beliefs, your desire and and someone that you can know that you can draw strength from, or support when things are rough - as some day they are for everyone.

When married, finances can be become a big issue. Fun to be around only lasts for a while at a time. make sure that you feel comfortable with the person in the hard times. If there are disputes over finances already, that is not a good sign, because it is guaranteed that in married life, times will be tight financially from time to time and that can become a strain on the marriage unless your relationship goes beyond the day to day feelings and fun times.

But first and foremost, the question that needs to be asked is whether he is your best friend, as a friend. A good relationship starts with a good friendship and then builds upon that to love. I can honestly say without hesitation that my wife is my best friend.

Differences of opinion and disputes are okay, but make sure that there is mutual respect and friendship which is strong enough never to be affected by such differences and that you and he can speak and iscuss such things openly.

Lastly, keep in mind that love is an emotion, yes, but it is a commitment. You commit to love the person and support them even when you are not on an emotional high of feeling in love. You need to be ready to commit yourself to that person for a lifetime.

Answer 4

I wasn't going to answer, because everyone has pretty much covered what I wanted to say.... but I just read your other questions. I would NOT think about marriage now with him. There are too many things that are unsettled between you. Keep the relationship where it is at, let him go thru his career change and settle down in school.
I never "knew" my hubby was "the one"... there were no big fireworks or Angels singing. I just knew that I could never imagine myself with anyone else ever again in my life.
The fact that you are asking if he is the one, should be a signal that (at least for right now) he isn't. Plus, that thing with his "co-worker" raises a red flag!! If he thought she was annoying, she could have easily opened the door & said... I have company... but he "hid" her instead. Good luck.

Answer 5

Oh wow! Differences are common and an essential part of a healthy relationship. Ex: My fiance and I are a lot alike but very different in that I'm republican and shes democrat. Sounds stupid but that can be grounds for major arguments. But, when you really love somebody, even after the fights, you will know that you re meant to be together. Follow your heart, not your head or your friends. It is common to question every now and then whether you should be with someone or not. Again, just follow your heart and all will be as it should be. Good luck, any furhter questions feel free to ask away.

Answer 6

No marriage, relationship of friendship is perfect. Sometimes it get bad and there are fights but then you forget them. If you remember the fight and have hard feeling you both or not the one's for each other. If your husband or bf don't worry about nothing it's because maybe he knows there is nothing to do about it. And cring about spilled milk isn't going to help. Normally if your not with each other and miss each other, go to work and can't work too much without thinking about each other, or maybe your just sitting watching TV and then you think well it would be more fun to be there together instead of watching tv then you both or the one. Remeber one thing life isn't perfect but making a decision sometimes is the wrong one and you live with it. SO think hard and remember will I really miss him/ or her if she wasn't here by me. If YEs go and take them in your arms and give them a big kiss if it's no just sit there and watch tv.

Answer 7

I dated my now hubby for about two years before we got married. I knew he was the one from the start but didn't know it know it until he was in Iraq.It almost killed me and I knew I wanted to be with him forever. I think everyone questions at some point of they're ment to be a person, but if the answer is always yes, then you should be together.

Answer 8

You have a spark, but you have to also be compatible in so many ways. Religion, financial responsibility, career ambitions, future goals, views on family/children, shared interests, ability to communicate and resolve conflicts, shared ethics/morals/values, views on drugs/alcohol/partying, lifestyles need to mesh. It takes some time to learn about a person. My husband and I disagree on very few things, but we never "fight"- we talk it through.

Answer 9

Sometimes you doubt it but in the end if this person makes you happy and you truly love him then he's the one.

Answer 10

i think u wouldn't experience any doubts of whatsoever shade. the happiness, joy and peace of mind the relationship offers you would make you want to hurry and tie the knots with him as you would never let him go!