STRESSING! My husbands daughter is getting married. Her mother is still alive. How should the invitation read?

Question

I have been with my husband for two years and have had an active role in my step daughters life, where her mother has not. My step daughters mother doesn't think that I should be included anywhere on the invitations. Much less have any say in the wedding. The daughter thinks I should but doesn't want to hurt her mothers fellings. The mother is not paying for any of the wedding either. Should I step aside? I don't want my step daughter to stress. Nor do I want to hurt her feelings. HELP!

Answer 1

you are IRENE.

Seth and Irene Francis are delighted to invite you to the wedding of Susan, Seth's daughter with first wife June.

Answer 2

The invitation should read Mr. and Mrs. ______(name). And then include her name under both you and your husbands. You are married to him, and that would be etiquettely correct. She needs to just make out the invitations the way she wants, not her mom...seeing as it is your step-daughters day, not hers. His ex seems immature and should be putting their daughter's happiness first, and not squabbling over little issues. Talk to your step-daughter and tell her to do things the way she wants, and not worry what everyone else thinks. Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Your step daughter, if she really wants you to go, needs to explain to her mother that this is HER wedding and she'll do as she pleases and invite who she'd like. She needs to explain to her mother that it's her "big day" and her mother needs to stop being so selfish, especially when she's not paying for the wedding. I understand you don't want to stress out your step daughter but since you do have an impact on her and are a part of her life, you deserve to be there for the big day. Stand up for yourself and make sure you get to go.

Answer 4

To keep peace include the birth mother's name on the invitations. When my half sister got married her birth mother's name and my mother's name appeared on the invitations like this. let's assume your last name is Williams and the birth mother's last name is Steven's

Mr and Mrs Williams
and
Ms. Stevens

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of THEIR daughter,

Laura Williams
to
(groom's name)

(the word their was capitalized just to be noticed)
rest of announcement including time, date, and church.

Answer 5

Your invitations should read something like:

Mr. & Mrs. Michael Smith & Ms Jones

and

Mr. & Mrs. Wayne Miller

are pleased to anounce the engagment of their children Sophie Smith and Tom Miller.

But with whatever wedding words you choose.

Your stepdaughter needs to decide who is helping her with what.Her father needs to sit down with her and talk about what he thinks she should do and let her know that her decision is what matters. No pressure, no hard feelings.

Enjoy the day.

Answer 6

Don't step aside if the daughter doesn't want you to. Put only the bride and groom on the invite. Put yourself and your husband on one line, and her mother on another line in the program. This way no one gets hurt and everyone gets recognized. It's the seating that causes more problems.

Answer 7

If you want traditional wording, then you would list both sets of parents at the beginning of the invitation and you would not indicate in any way who contributed to the costs. Your wording would begin with your mother and step-father, such as:
Mr. and Mrs. Mother and Step-father
and
Mr. and Mrs. Father and Step-mother
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughther.....

Answer 8

If your step daugher wants you on the invitation then it should read both of your names, hers and yours.
Example: Mr and Mrs XXXXX and mothers name invite you............
Something like that.
That sounds perfect.
Good luck!

Answer 9

As a step mom of two boys for 7 yrs I can relate to your stress. Thier mom has been terrible the whole time. The kids have constantly felt pulled in both directions, and presently arent coming over at all!

My advice as hard as it is, step aside. Your step daughter will appreciate it. It is not worth the battle. She will appreciate you for your wanting to help, this is something for her mom and dad.

Answer 10

Do NOT step aside!!!
As for the invitations, when my husband & I married I put the following.... (my folks are divorced, my mom is remarried)...

______&______ announce their engagement & plans for a _____
wedding.
_____________ is the daughter of ___________ of __________

& __________&____________ of ___________.

____________ is the son of..........................................

It IS the bride's decision on who she has at HER wedding & who SHE chooses to participate in it. If she wants you to be there & help & be included on the invitations, ignore the ex-wife & do what you can to help & support your step-daughter.......
If the ex won't let it be, calmly explain to her that it is NOT up to "her" to make these decsions & that it is NOT "her" day.......