I just found out Im pregnant and me and my boyfriend decided we wanted to keep the baby. We feel like it's unfair to give it up and we know we can give it everything it needs. I'm just so scared because everyone in his and my family keeps telling us we can't do it. We're too young and it's unfair to the baby. And they all hate me.. Does anyone else think we can do it or is it just me?
2006-11-26 09:02:35 · 15 answers · asked by helpsum1_2day 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Everyone is just worried. ou are very young. And having a child is incredibly hard. Children are selfish creatures that can't understand anything but their own needs.. Try going without sleep for 3-4 days and see how you feel. I was 17 when I fell pregnan wih my son, I was in a secure relationship and had financial support to raise a child, but even without those worries, I had trouble dealing with my son. It is a very hard choice you have to make. Do you have a stable home to raise a child in? Do you have the finances to raise a child? Do you have the time? are you willing to sacrifice drinking, smoking, going out with friends? Your relationship will be stressed too.. If this breaks down, can you do it alone? Perhaps you should wait.. Untill you are ready. Best of luck.
2006-11-26 09:08:53 · answer #1 · answered by evil_nykki 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
16 is still young and it is hard to raise a child at your age. I'm 41 I have 4 grown daughters and 4 grandkids. I got pregnant at17 and wasnt with the babys father It was very difficult but I did it she is 23 years old now. I think you can do it but it will be the hardest thing you will ever do. You will need to finish High school both of you get good jobs and have the love and support of both of your families to get through this. there will be lots of sleepless nights when the baby is fussy not much time for yourselves once the baby comes. it is very expensive to raise a child nowadays. I think first you both need to return home and talk to your families . good luck
2006-11-26 09:15:04 · answer #2 · answered by rhonda r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really sit down with your father and 'talk' to him about how you feel. My parents are divorced so I have been 'through the hoops' when it comes to broken families. It is really important that you show your father that you are mature enough to handle the situation on an adult level. Running away would only make him feel more strongly about your mom being a 'bad infuence' on you. Maybe you could talk to him about setting up a monthly (or weekly/every other week) visitation time so that you can see your mom. Legally, you should be able to see you mom... unless a court has decided it is not in your best interest to see her (which you might want to seriously think about). One think I will say... is when I was your age I wanted a relationship with my dad. He seemed so nice and I wanted to live with him. My mom said no to living with him (though I argued relentlesly) but I did get to visit with him a lot. I thought I had gotten the better end of the deal.. but as I got to know my dad.. I realized that he was not what I thought he was. He was a shameless lier and cheat. My mom had tried to protect me from the pain.. but I was to stubborn to see it. I don't know what your situation is... but please do not run away. Talk to your dad about it... if you run away you may be running away from someone who really really loves you. Your dad is learning too. Hope this really helps.
2016-05-23 05:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are very young and not even old enough to get a decent paying adult job. without the love and support of your family or at least one adult willing to let you live with them to help you financially i dont see how you can do it. this makes me sad because i can tell you love the baby already. there is always the possibility of a family member adopting it or you could do open adoption. that way you are always involved in that babys life and it will know you loved it enough to do what was best. if you are determined to keep the baby try to talk to your parents and tell them why it is so important to you. they may see that helping you in the end is better than making you bitter that they forced you to give up a part of yourself. but you need to also see their side- they love you and want what is best for you
2006-11-26 09:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to tell you it will be a rose garden it is going to be a hard long road. You are going to have to go to school and have a job. Pay for daycare and all the other needs for the baby. They take time away from your friends if you feel like you two can do it then you can do it. Just remember you are young and it will be hard long road. Good Luck and I wish you the best of everything.
2006-11-26 09:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by dreamer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl...you CAN DO IT!!! It is not going to be easy....and that is okay...because no matter how old you are it is not easy!!!
What is fair????
Go to school...no matter what.!!!!
When your folks see this beautiful bundle of love.....they will come around. You won't understand until you hold this little baby...all that your parents want for you is the VERY BEST OF EVERYTHING!!! And they are already aware of the challenges of parenting...they want what is best for you and your baby. That's all!!!
Keep your focus...on that baby...on your education and YOUR FUTURE!!!
You can do it!!!! L:ean heavily on who ever will help...but remember at the end of every day you will only be responsible for you and your baby!
I was only 19 when I had my first...I would not recommend that any one go out and get pregnant on purpose....but if you are already pregnant it is not impossible!!! Educate yourself and always make your choices based on the idea of "what is in the best interest of that sweet little baby" Every thing you do in your future will Affect that baby...it is your job to make sure that it is in a positive way!!!!
2006-11-26 09:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both want to, then you can do it. My 58 year old mother moved 7 hours and several states away from home last year because of her job. Even her own sister kept telling her she'd not make it. But I encouraged my mom and cheered her up when she'd get homesick or depressed. She made it and has thrived.
So you can do it, if you both want to. Surround yourself with people that care about you and will encourage you. Check about applying for medicaid and government help like WIC. If you dropped out of school, then try to finish school or get your GED. Kids don't need a million dollars. They just need parents that love them and want the best for them. Life will be tough, but the rewards of that child in your life will be worth it.
2006-11-26 09:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You're ruining your life and your boyfriend's. If he doesn't leave you after the first year together you'll be living in a trailer and working at McDonald's just to feed the baby. Plus the child won't have a good life either since you probably won't be able to provide for it. So don't ruin three lives by one decision.
2006-11-26 10:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by Misanthropist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Now is the time to grow up and think of your child and its future. Give it a REAL future - put the baby up for adoption. Stable people with love, the financial ability, intelligence and plans for their lives will give your child a real home and a fair start in life. Don't push your mistakes onto your child. They're right - it is unfair to your child. What kind of future can you provide it? Infants are cute and easy - relatively speaking - compared to the great challenges that come as your child grows. You are clearly NOT prepared. I speak from the perspective of someone whose mother kept her.
Parenthood is a PRIVLEDGE and children are a GIFT.
If you cannot give your child the unselfish gift of adoption, you should have an abortion. You are not ready for the greatest privledge and challenge of parenthood.
"Yes, you can keep the baby." Well SURE you CAN -- there's no laws on the books that say you need to have any maturity or brains to have a kid. SHOULD you? That's another story. Sweetie, you will ruin that kid's life. And boyfriend won't stay around long either.
2006-11-26 09:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela G 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
if you both want to keep the child that is great, then prove to both your parents you are responsible enough to do it. get your own place get jobs (babies are very expensive) get married. if you show you both are doing your best to make this happen by the time the child comes, your parents will probably be more willing to help you out if you need it. yes it will be very hard at first but anything you want bad enough you usually have to work for it. good luck
2006-11-26 09:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by parrotsarenoisy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋