Do you think an open marriage can work?

Question

We've been married 4 years, and have been monogamous, but his job takes him away for extended periods of time. We're discussing the possiblity of having an open marriage. I just want some outside opinions.

Answer 1

Nope...Not a chance..

Answer 2

Well, it depends.

A completely open marriage with no emotional attachments to any other person is very, very difficult to accomplish. Feelings always get involved sooner or later and because that isn't the relationship each of you agreed to (If you entered into this style of relationship) it creates serious, though not insurmountable problems in your primary relationship (your marriage). Usually, non-emotional sexually open marriages include both partners in these activities so as to avoid the inequalities and emotional risks that could potentially arise.

On the other hand, from personal experience, ones that involve emotional commitments, and perhaps love do seem to work when one or each person are involved in extramarital activities. These polyamorous relationships build on the kind on emotional foundations that are present in monogamous relationships. They also are based on trust, honesty, and communication between the people involved.

Ground rules in the development of a polyamorous relationship are established before anyone initiates these kind of relationships. From my own experiences, if entered into with open eyes and a full understanding of what changes are going to occur in your relationship with your husband, and there will be some [if properly done - all good], and trust and communication they can work as good or better than a purely monogamous relationship.

It takes people who are not hard-wired by social conditioning though for this to work, both on you and your husbands side and on your other partners side as well. If you involve yourself will someone who is committed to see this work , it can be wonderful. But if any of you are subject to fits of extreme jealousy, I high recommend that you don consider any kind of open relationship. and if you like to keep secrets from your spouse or your partner, it won't work either.

I recommend some reading at:

http://www.polyamorysociety.org/

and follow some of the links.

I have been involved in a polyamorous based marriage for the past 15 years of our 26 year marriage and I wouldn't ever go back. Neither would my wife.

If you'd like to as some more specific questions you can email me at my yahoo address found in my Yahoo Answers profile. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Another thing to consider if you decide on this lifestyle, let your spouse meet the people you're interested in sleeping with (and vice versa), let him talk to them and find out their intentions and make sure that your potential partners are as equally informed (make sure you tell them that they're just there for 'sex on the side' not a commited relationship in any way). If everyone is honest and well informed of everyone else's feelings, you'll do fine, it's when you start hiding things from the other that it starts to go downhill.

Answer 4

Being there, will not work, there is just a lot of sides to consider, if you think you want to experience an alternative way live your marriage, you should try first swinging, this way both of you will taste the feeling of not being exclusive to each other and then move on forward to an open marriage, I would recommend, though not to get into this waters, there are a lot, believe me alot of things you do not even know you will face, it is like being in your car speeding at 110 mph. any little error will destroy it all, it is not worth it!!!
good luck!!!

Answer 5

They can if everyone is willing to communicate honestly and openly. It's a lifestyle choice that the majority of American society frowns at. But, frankly, it nobodies business but for those involved.

I have a few articles on the subject. Links provided.

Answer 6

Yes it can work as long as both parties are honest with each other and share their experiences. I would suggest the two of you try it with other people and see if it works for you. The only way you will know is if you both go to bed with other partners. Have fun,you only live once.

Answer 7

Its very possible but at the same time I say no. Jealousy would arrise way to much, and sometimes one another might wonder a little too much about the other and cause major conflict. But if you are the right two people, anything is possible. Keep every option open and make sure you talk to each other very openly and honestly.

Answer 8

many in hollywood have that. you will have to sit down and find out what works for both of you. and to have agreements not to bring the other person home nor flaunt it and to be discreet. and you dont' need to hear the whole story of whats going on. if you want just a roof over your head and kiddies and the rest he can find someplace else and it works for you why not.

Answer 9

Nope. Theres a reason why pple get married. They want to spend the rest of their life with just one person, and for that one person to return the favor. If your going to sleep with other pple then dont bother being married. besides, u never know... either of u could end up fallin for someone else and break the others heart.

-ash

Answer 10

Through open and honest communication, it can work.

Also, everyone has to be 10000000% for it. If there is any doubt in anyones mind about it, then it won't work. If there is jealousy that isn't addressed and worked through, it won't work.

Also, is it polyamerous? Can you be in love with more than one person and can your significant other be the same way?

It can work, but it is rare.


I wish you the best of luck, honesty, trust, and as much love as the world can give.

Answer 11

if both parties are willing. And there must not be a hint of jealousy or everything will fall apart.

I have seen it work though.

Make sure you set rules that will make you comfortable.
They should be very clear and up held by both parties.