He makes me feel pressurised to do it and to be honest I hate it, have always hated it, only do it if I've had a drink, I reckon if there was no such thing as red wine I would still be a virgin, does anyone else feel like this, I am 40, had two kids with him and we've been together for 15 years but he still expects me to act like we were when I was 25...
2006-11-26 07:52:35 · 36 answers · asked by honeybell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's quite common, as women get older their sex drive is less, but a mans stays the same, he is being selfish and childish. As you can see from all the male replies, ignore them.
2006-11-26 07:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Well I can only guess but how's this? You've never learned to relax, what with the kids being in the next room and maybe worrying about getting pregnant. And he's never got the hang of what you like, because neither of you had that much experience before you got together. Bet it's not unusual, but both of you are missing out and you don't need to. See your GP, get some books like Joy of Sex or just buy that bottle of wine, get the kids on sleepovers, and have a Very Long Talk.
2006-11-26 08:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by judipod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but this is a relationship breaker, if he has an active sex drive and you don't, there is very little "talking it out can do"
Men can father children all their lives and so may never lose their sex drive, while women go through the change, have all the pressures of bringing kids up and so forth, and like in your case, just don't enjoy the act.
I feel like your partner, I have a burningly high sex drive, and the idea of not doing it for the rest of my life would lead me to ending it all. And while it might be a selfish desire, it's a basic animal desire, so you can't blame him for being pushy, it's his basic animal instinct to keep breeding.
So either you figure out why you don't like it, and see if that can be overcome, or I worry about the pressure that will build over this. Please sort it out for your kids sake, but please don't try to maintain the theory that if he loves you, he would leave you alone, or not sulk, it won't be that easy to overcome thousands of years of genetic urges to breed.
2006-11-26 09:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man who sulks when he doesn't get sex is a baby. A real man would NEVER force a woman to have sex, no matter how frustrated they become. If you carry on, you'll become a stressed out, alcoholic with murderous tendencies. A real man would take time to arouse you and the fact that he lets you lay there is vile. He sounds like a very selfish man and can have no skills in the sex department! Don't waste the next 40 years of your life feeling this way. Either fix it with him or leave. Don't continue. It's sexual coercion!
2006-11-26 08:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by Pixxxie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I feel like this, I know how you feel cos my husband sulks too. I feel pressured into it, and when I'm tired and have to get up early in a morning, I can do without the old arm coming over routine. Yes, I'd love to know how you get out of this situation.
2006-11-26 08:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanette 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a vitale part of any adult relationship. If your not sexually compatable.... don't expect the relationship to last long.
Set him free so he can have the kind of relationship he wants... I'm sure you can find plenty of guys that aren't interested in sex to start dating.
I suggest you place an add in Match.Com that says your looking to meet someone new.... Start the add out with .....
"I don't like sex..." and sit back and wait for all the emails to come rolling in.
LOL
2006-11-26 08:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really dont like sex in general...or is it just the intimacy you dont like? Maybe you need to take a few steps back & think about why you are with your partner...and what attracted you to him in the first place. This may remind you of what you like about him. You may need to talk to him about your feelings (the key to a good relationship is communication, right?!) Also, you dont need to have sex everytime, theres massages, oils, oral sex, 'sexy' games which may bring out the fun side of things! Hope this helps, best of luck!
2006-11-26 08:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by glamtastic86 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a man thing. My hubby is very highly sexed, and expects me to be the same. he goes all rejected if i say no, even though we do it a lot...lol....to keep him happy.
I like sex, but just not as much as he does, and it drives me nuts when he sulks, i just tell him, i have a right to say no, and tell him he is being a baby. We get tired with the kids, housework, etc, sometimes, you just want to go to sleep, and they should respect that!
2006-11-26 08:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
For him to expect that you are always in the mood, like your a love machine is ridiculous. He needs to respect your feelings. He needs to understand that there is way more to a relationship than sex, and if your not into it, he needs to stop acting all depressed.It's not a one sided relationship. Your job is not to please him, that's not why you were put on this earth. Its not the end of the world for him. Good luck. You're not in the wrong at all here, it sounds like he is.
2006-11-26 08:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by thats_hot_097 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go and become a nun, why are you so mean to your partner ? Surely at 40 you are supposed to enjoy the last moments of your sexual bliss together. He should sulk because you are acting like a kid. I would understand it if you were sick, enjoy it whilst you are both able bodied and in good health, who knows what tomorrow holds.
2006-11-26 08:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by marizani 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Have you told him you hate sex? Is he aware that you always hated sex? I don't believe it's right that you should hate sex. It can be a wonderful thing between two people who love each other. Seek professional help and find the reason for your hatred of sex................
2006-11-26 08:20:39 · answer #11 · answered by Pendragon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋