I was married for 3 1/2 years to what I thought was the love of my life- we were together 7 total.
2 years ago I found out he was having an affair with my cousin (who is 6 months younger than me...and my parents raised for a few years when we were younger).
I divorced him, and they got married a few months ago.
This will be my 2nd Christmas alone (and yes- Thanksgiving was hard too). She was always Grandma's favorite, so this is no big deal to grandma- the family is split, and most are helping me get thru this, yet I can't help but be angry and sad when the holidays come around. Do you have any ideas to cope with possibly seeing my ex- and his new "wife" this year?
PS- I am a FIRM beleiver in everything happens for a reason, and I am thankful for my blessings- I am more disappointed she threw away 25 years of friendship and family for him!
2006-11-26 07:24:09 · 11 answers · asked by Rae 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry for all the losses you have had and I feel your sadness around your cousin. You were friends for a very long time and I'm sure you miss her.
This will be my first Christmas alone and I feel pretty low right now. No ex and new wife to contend with though, thank goodness.
You survived last year and I'm assuming it was pretty difficult for everyone, except maybe Granny. This year if you see them remember that a year has passed and you don't really know what is going on in their relationship. They could both be feeling bad about how things turned out. Your cousin may miss your friendship as much as you do. Perhaps these thoughts won't be spoken but you can't be certain the marriage is one big happy party. Unless they are sociopaths they have to feel something for your situation.
Walk proud with a smile and congratulate yourself for how well you are coping. Merry Christmas.
2006-11-26 07:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!! That is HARSH! Well, I would be avoiding the ex and his new wife. So if that means spending the holidays with your chosen family (your close friends) I would do that.
The first christmas after my divorce, I found comfort in the comedy holiday song CD's like Bob River's. I love christmas music... and those made me laugh at a time when I wanted to cry.
And you are right... everything does happen for a reason, and in time you will be happier in the long run once you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
2006-11-26 07:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by LeeLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Starting now, work on getting yourself looking your best. Lose weight if you need to, buy some new clothes, cut out the nasties like drink and ciggarettes (if you do), and just before the holidays pamper yourself to beauty treatment if you can afford it.
The bottom line is that you want to go into the holidays looking so good that you will be the center of attention, and when asked how life is, answer 'Absolutely Fabulous'.
Your ex will start to wonder if he did the right thing, his wife will feel put down and everyone else will think that it was him that was stopping you from blossoming.
This advice is given to you free from the 'Artful Dogers Revenge Centre'
2006-11-26 08:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
expensive warm mom, in certain situations you basically wish there replaced into an F1 button for dealing with meanness and each of the sick little issues that small minded human beings arise with... because you probably did not let us know how previous your daughter is, and the position you're positioned, i'll basically assume that you're interior the U. S. and performance a daughter who's at an age that she will be able to be completely conscious of the way good or undesirable a Christmas is. i don't have a lot money both, and that i do not spend any in the course of the season, for the sake of the season. I do get presents for my daughters, yet no vast spends on decorations and lighting fixtures and get togethers... We do have a family individuals meal, usually lunch at my human beings's position on Christmas day, yet no longer something extra... I advise that you're making it an day holiday which include your daughter... flow to the baby's ward in a wellness middle, or an orphanage, in a poorer area of city. locate out in the previous you flow, on what's authorized and also you should likely prepare dinner something to take with you. little ones at those places do not want presents as badly as they could like a warmth smile and and a delightful face... the excitement and gratefulness that you get in go back will more beneficial than catch up on your sister. i imagine both you and your daughter ought to detect something jointly. the position the position I presently paintings, have days (usually the first saturday of the month) on which we party to spend an afternoon with orphans, or with spastic little ones, or in previous age homes. We take a e book or 2 for reading to the little ones, some filled toys, and continually sweet...:) yet there have been good solutions on your question, too, which consists of basically vegging out for the day, and eating and watching previous re-runs or videos... Very importantly do make sure to attempt to gauge what your daughter ought to need to do too, that way, issues received't be a actual disaster. if you're ever in Bangalore, India, enable me comprehend, you should continually spend your Christmas with my family individuals...:)
2016-10-16 10:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like the family threw her away tho - which they should have. Their correct response would have been to tell the 2 of them they were not welcome. But all you can do is put on a happy face and pretend that everything is ok. They are the ones here who should feel bad. Just know that he will cheat again on her.. And you will have the last laugh.
2006-11-26 07:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to mend a broken heart is with a new love..
It also serves as revenge on the cheating ex...
Holidays are often difficult times for many people..
Just hang in there, the will be over soon enough..
2006-11-26 07:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you had no children from this union.
For one, I'd make it a point NOT to see them. Give yourself a sweet vacation, to a nice warm spot. Holidays are ALWAYS a disappointment. It's like a deflated balloon. Dont give it so much prep time........or anticipation. Treat holidays like any other day.
However, make time for YOU, to enjoy whatever your interests may be.
2006-11-26 07:38:12 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KARMA. Sit back and relax. You should go see a shrink also to get over this or at least cope. Sounds like you are doing alot better than most people would be!!!!
2006-11-26 07:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful you have people around you for the holidays. Millions out there dont' have anyone to share the overrated x-mas holidays and that's why its the highest suicidal statistic holiday.
2006-11-26 07:27:22 · answer #9 · answered by Believe me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life is temporary, and yes God has plan for you, things happen for a reason, and it is not an easy thing to go through, my wife had an affair and left me,she did me a favour, she is very miserable, I forgive her and moved on, I moved on by giving my heart to Jesus......with Him on your side things always get better.....God bless ya
2006-11-26 08:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋