My husband and eye have known each other a long time we went to the same elemetary shcool.My dad and his dad work for same company his dads the president of claims for the insurance company and my dads the vice president.We became friends when i was 10 and him13 it was love at first bite(no joke he tried to give me a hicky to win a bet).Anyway highschool we dated on and off but broke up when i was in my last year.We met up again when i was 19 in college i got pregnant and we married it was hell it lasted 2 years before we seperated and we divorced the next year.I graduated college and we tried again to make it work after 7 trys we remarried again.We have been married a 1 1/2 now and i am now 25 yrs old and he is 28.We cant agree on anything not even house decorations we own 2 houses one is my old home wich is used as a vacation house or weekend home to avoid the problem.Everything is a fight we have a love+ hate relationship and are driving each other crazy.do we divorce again?
2006-11-26 06:48:28 · 14 answers · asked by Jessia h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We tried therapy and it seemed to make things worse fights got louder and we have a daughter together.
2006-11-26 06:50:01 · update #1
You made a kid with this person. Kids need two parents. Stop thinking of yourself all the time and put your child's needs first!
2006-11-26 06:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a firm believer that you should "earn your way out of a bad marriage". It's important that you be able to say to yourself "we tried everything possible and it just wasn't meant to be".
Try counseling with a different counselor...they are all different and some of them aren't really that good at their jobs. If he won't go, try just going yourself. That's not admitting that it's all your fault. It's just that you can only change yourself, not anyone else. You might just grow as a person as a side effect. Then, if you do end up getting a divorce, at least you will know yourself better and be able to make a better choice in a mate. Make sure that there's nothing you can do to make it work, if not for yourself, for the sake of your child. Contrary to what many people think, "Compromise" is not an evil word.
Anyway, I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
2006-11-26 08:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello, 7 time's you let this man back in your life. If after the first, divorce you didnt learn. I dont think you ever will. marriage is about giving and taking, not being selfish and butting heads all the time. I have been married for going on 6 years now. I dont understand, how the two of you havent killed each other yet. I would suggest leaving, and never going back. Until you learn this. I dont think anyone can really help you. Gl
2006-11-26 07:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is short and definitaly to short to be unhappy all the time. I fully recommend to divorce and move on to a happier life. There is someone out there for everyone. Just be patient and not in a hurry looking for it because that is the wrong way to find happiness. The best thing to do is to make your self happy first. The right soul mate will come into your life without looking for it or him when you least expect it to happen. Staying married to someone that you dont see eye to eye with will never change. It will only get worse.
2006-11-26 07:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anna O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that the two of you love each other, but you don't like each other. If this is the case your marriage is doomed. You two have tried counseling and it hasn't worked. The only thing I could suggest is to end the marriage before you two start resenting each other. Besides your child doesn't need to be exposed to your constant arguing. Don't stay in a bad marriage for your child's sake either. It will benefit you, your husband and your child if you two just stayed friends. But remember this is only my opinion. you must ultimately do what you think is best. But also remember, An EX is an EX for a reason. GOOD LUCK! I hope they two of you make the right decision.
2006-11-26 07:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by Itsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you may be great as best friends, but just can't be married. You might try counseling again with a different counselor, though - since they may employ different methods that may be more effective. The important thing is to put an end to the cycle that is obviously making you both miserable - by either working it out & communicating more effectively, or by divorcing and becoming friends.
I wish you both good luck & happiness
2006-11-26 06:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by lisa_tilton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to talk with your husband about it. Try and work it out, spend quality time together, just the two of you. If that doesn't work I'd probably file for divorce.
Don't rush things though, you might regret you actions later
Love Amy
2006-11-26 06:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by heartshape_bullets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert but....I really sounds like you two have grown apart. Try separation for a while. Find out if you guys prefer to be with each other or apart. It will give you two time to think. I really don't believe in marriage counseling, because if you need to work on it that hard its too late.
2006-11-26 06:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by blue_6670 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... that is extremely hard... it seems that you two will always love and care about one another but you shouldnt get another divorce over arguing all the time. Try to talk it out with your husband and explain to him that you truely love him... make sacrafices you two. So what if the curtains aren't the color you want you're not going to die. Learn to compromise. Talk to your husband.. if he wants to paint a room black and you wanna paint it white, paint it gray. Just compromise. If you two really love one another you'll find a way to make it work.
2006-11-26 06:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey jessia
i know how you feel not being happy in life.you need to divorce your husband and take some time off for a while and to rethink things over and make a list of things you want in a man and dont seattle for any thing less you need to be happy in your life and so does your kid.,good luck
2006-11-26 07:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stopo thinking just about yourself and him, and start thinking about a little thing called...YOUR KID. How do you think she feels in all of this? If you are arguing or fighting in front of her you need to stop. She will have just the same expieriences in relationships when she is older, unless you two come to your senses, and stop acting like children. Hope everything goes ok...
2006-11-26 06:56:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋