The other woman is extremely beautiful and very young.What can I do?

Question

After 18 years of marriage my husband told me he didn't want to be married any longer.He is in love with another woman.

Answer 1

sorry, divorce.

Answer 2

This question has become extremely vexing for married women.

No one is free from the ravages of time, its a matter of fact, we all grow old, nothing can stop that process.
Humans are not immortal, as we have witnessed that time and again.

They say true beauty comes from within, and I continue to
believe that.
All women cannot look like Christie Brinkley, Cindy Crawford,
Cheryl Tiegs, or even Paris Hilton, the darling of the fashionistas.
But why would you want to?
They have their own blemishes to hide and their cellulite to
dry up.

You cannot be expected to compete with a 22 year old, micro-mini skirted, blue eyed, blond hair, darling of the debutante set.
First of all they haven't the breadth and depth you do, and
if you have gained a few pounds and have tracings of crow's feet around your eyes, who cares, if your husband really loves you,
trusts you, and respects you as his best friend, constant companion, and intimate lover, he can't see any bad things about you, save occsasional arguments on possession of the TV remote, or he left the toilet seat up once again.

In a word, accentuate the positive, re-inforce the good
points you have, make small gestures that cater to his favorite things, set the tone and mood for romantic adventures, enhance
your bedroom action slightly more to the kinky side, but just a touch, don't overdo it.
Try candle-lite dinners, with soft easy listening music playing in the background, gaze into his eyes and make him feel very appreciated, like he is the only one in the world right now, and
you are letting him know, telepathically.
Eliminate all interruptions and distractions, they are bane to set your mood.
If you have children, if you can, arrange for them to be with a trusted babysitter, on an overnight basis, away from your home,
this night belongs to just you and your man, thats all.
Turn off all your cell phones, and take the land wire phone off the hook. At least for a few hours.

If you want to intensify your more intimate moments, give him a body massage using apple-cinnamon flavored massage oil, edible, and rub him all over with that, and ask him to do the same for you, this will lead to other things, I'm sure.

If this action doesn't start his engine, he must be dead,
But don't quit, remember its a two way street, he should pick up the ball and begin to ministrate to your activities, but if this
measure fails, hard to say what to do next.

Sounds to me like his fire has gone out for you, that is to say
the chemistry between you has been transferred from you
to your competition, which is grossly unfair, and thats something you cannot control, regardless of the number of years you have
been married to him.

You cannot force someone to love you, love has to be openly and freely given, otherwise it won't work, as there must be 100% love
and trust to make any permanently committed relationship work.

So, if it was meant to be, try to make the best of it, don't even try to fight it, he will further resent it, always remember he did love you in the beginning, so you are still beautiful and desirable, and
have a lot to offer any man.

If there must be a divorce action, in California, 50/50%
community property law, in the division of marital assets,
sad and grievous though it may be, and if there are children,
child custody becomes a hot issue, over custody and visitation rights.
I hope cool heads will prevail, and an amicable settlement is reached by both parties.

Thats my message, one man's opinion, good luck



Donald H. Sites
[e-mail]

Answer 3

That is quite a competition. You have not mentioned if you are dependent to your husband. Do you have a job. I think after 18 years you have spend all your time and youth on him. Don't give up. It is not easy to throw away an 18 years relationship.This is just one trial in your life and many more to come you have to cope up with it. If you love him fight for your man. Give him more loving care and attention. Cook the best food for him. Pamper him. He is just having a mid year crisis in his life just like we women are experiencing menopause. it is just lust not love for the other woman. He will overcome it. Just wait and be patient. He will come back to you . He will miss your good qualities that you have given him all this past year . Also lots of prayers will help you too. I t is just a wake up call from God. If you do not have any problem you forget to call on him. Go to mass.

Answer 4

I agree with the others...get a good divorce attorney and get as much as you can. Let them both feel the money squeeze. Financial problems are the #1 reason for divorce. And, remember, she is not "all that." She may
be young and beautiful (dime a dozen and they both seem like the type who will keep looking) but you do know she has no character, self-respect, others' respect, morals....after all she was cheating with a married man....pretty scummy.
You shouldn't want him any more. There is much better out there.

Answer 5

If you want to try to keep him, then work on yourself.

The best plan I've see out there is Dr Willard Harley's "Surviving an Affair"

Based largely on another one of his books, "His Needs, Her Needs" which indicates that romantic love involves the concept of a love bank. You make deposits in your spouses love bank by doing things that meet his emotional needs.

You make withdrawls from your account in the love bank with Love Busters, such as lying, selfish demands, independent behavior, etc.

See more at the website below.

Answer 6

i became the guy in my team that would flow after those women. the subject with the ordinary public of them is they're warm...and that they recognize they're warm. i've got been in my best, heavyweight physique builder and in the form of condition the place i could desire to wreck that chick all night and into the subsequent morning...yet whilst some previous guy has been showering her with presents and paying her way around city, I by no ability had a guess. As adult men we many times study to settle for an insecure 8 over an overconfident 9.5 If the 8 sounds like a 6/7, she is going to purpose plenty extra stable. i've got had a good volume of success with warm women folk, yet have by no ability been in a position to transition one to an prolonged term dating. they only can not turn me on any way different than bodily. Plus the beautiful ones many times purely lay there and take it, yet they look soooo good doing it. My advice, ask out a hundred great warm women folk. You 'll be surprised at how a lot of them will luckily come to a decision your interest and in case you play your enjoying cards good, you're gonna get to hit it for loose :) beautiful women folk like to earnings how beautiful they're. My all time fav line.... Walks as much as wonderful looking woman and says " i'm particular you hear this each and all the time, yet WOW! you're beautiful! " she is going to snigger, smile somewhat and say thank you. then you say " you recognize you're so beautiful that in case you do no longer talk with me, i'm by no ability going to have the braveness to attitude somebody it is so of course out of my league " If she maintains to talk to you after this replace, i'm hoping you delivered a jimmy hat i've got pulled this one off at bars, golf equipment, coffee shops, artwork or maybe on the food market :)

Answer 7

Realize that what ever you were doing brought you to where you are. Now you need to change or you will be right back here again, but maybe with a different guy. If you are lucky, you might change in a way that changes him in a way you both stay together.

The number one course of divorce I think is laziness - Let me explain

If person A feels loved with flowers, cards, weekend trips then person B needs to do those things to express their love for person A that way.

If person B feels loved with sex then person A needs to express their love for person B that way.

If person A gets sex and not flowers they will not feel loved.

If person B gets flowers and not sex they will not feel loved.

Just because they are our spouses does not mean they feel loved the same way as us.

Convenience is doing it the way we want it. Love is doing it the way they want it.

Think about it and see if you can apply it to yourself.

Answer 8

A girl who is as young as beautiful as you described is not going to stick to your husband, a man who has been married for 18 years. It suits the Hollywood folk just fine, but not people like us. Mark my words, she's going to leave him sooner or later, in search of greener pastures. By then, you would have moved on with your life (start soon!). When he comes crawling back, I suggest you listen to the song I WILL SURVIVE!

Answer 9

Leave him! There's nothing else you can do. If he's in love with another woman than he's not the type of husband you want to be with. Make sure you get all the alimony you can from him!

Answer 10

give him his divorce, because there is nothing he is going to listen to anyway, u just have to let him go, let him be free to make his choices, if u don't he will just resent u for it. i know it hurts it was done to me 3 years ago. but it does get better, pain never leaves us where it finds us. in time the pain diminishes and we move on. takes time to feel better it will not happen overnite. this has nothing to do with u, it has all to do with the other woman, wanting what u have in life. but this was his choice, and he could have walked away from her at any time but chose not to. he shows lack of integrety and u will never be able to get past this, so it's best if we just let them go and move on.we have no control over others, this woman must make him feel young and special, but she won't stay with him very long, than he will be back knocking on your door again.

Answer 11

Give him what he wants. He is probably going through a midlife crisis. The age difference and the fact that she got involved with him while he was married will eat at him, and he'll dump her eventually.

Don't let it erode your self-esteem...easier said than done, but it says more about them than it does you or your desirability. Move on with your life and get the best revenge: a happy life while he's stuck with his arm candy.
You deserve better.