I feel like i love the person i am engaged too but not in the way i should is it possible that will fall into place after we get married in a day and half.?Its a love/ hate relationship because he drives me crazy because he is so anal and uptight and i am the polar opposite but he does not now it and i try to please him anyway. Been together 3 years .
2006-11-26 06:08:36 · 8 answers · asked by Jennifer M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you fall fully in love after your married?
2006-11-26 06:12:35 · update #1
If you're not sure now then it won't help if you get married. Call it off now before you make a huge mistake. You probably don't want to live the rest of your life like that. I don't know many people who would want to.
2006-11-26 06:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have these kinds of issues now, marriage isn't going to help one bit.
Although love can and does develop over time, if you cannot talk about what is bothering you now, when there is not so much at stake (children, property owned and all the rest that goes with years together), you are in for some rude awakenings. The statement that you are "trying to please him" tells me that he probably doesn't know you at all... You haven't let him see who you really are. That kind of innocent deception is nothing to build a relationship on... not one that will last anyway.
You need to postpone this marriage and take a little more time to let him get to know you and your relaxed ways. A person Cannot continue the kind of ruse you have pulled on him in your desire to "please him" and you will eventually become exactly who you are... resenting and bitching about his "anal, uptight" nature and all. This is a recipe for disaster!
This is no criticism of you, please know this! You are who you are and he is who he is, but you Must honestly know each other if you expect to build a solid life together. Give yourselves a chance to be happy. If not with each other, then with someone who won't have to work so hard at pleasing each other!
On the other hand, he may sense your true nature and unconsciously realize that he needs to relax himself... This may be part of the attraction. If you take the time to get to really know each other before you make this commitment, you may find that your relationship is stronger than you ever imagined possible.
Talk honestly with him! He may be having some of the same misgivings himself. If trying to be honest damages what you have now, it certainly wouldn't have survived the trials and traumas you will have to face together in marriage.
2006-11-26 15:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by toastposties 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a feeling, it's something you do.
If you are irritated now, being engaged, it only gets worse being married.
What you call anal and uptight, I'd bet he calls it throrough and responsible.
So, given that you are already painting him in a bad light, using charged words, I'd say YOU are not ready to get married, because YOU cannot accept who he is without putting a negative spin on him.
So, I pray you don't marry him or anyone until you can accept them for who they are, without using such charged language to describe them, either to your self or to others.
2006-11-26 14:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no business getting married and hoping that love will follow. Walk away before it's too late. Good luck!
2006-11-26 14:17:38 · answer #4 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If, you know you are not truly in love. Dont get married, You are only hurting yourself in the long run. I would leave before its too late.
2006-11-26 15:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE, do NOT get married. Marriage does NOT solve anything. It usually creates problems. So dont take that step until you are absolutely sure.......AND you know that you love him!
Opposites may attract at first. But in the long run, you will come to despise your differences!
2006-11-26 14:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not in love with him don't get married thats how alot of divorces happen...
2006-11-26 14:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by dawn n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run for your life!
2006-11-26 15:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋