why do i still want him with me if he has hurt me? Am i helpless?

Question

I am 15 turning 16 in 2 months. I have made many mistakes that I do regret and wish i could take back but i made them
Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 year and 3 months, he has hurt me so much but i am still with him and i still care for him. he has hurt me so many ways like: ( Oh yeah and he is 23)

1. when we 2st started to talk he was talking to other girls but would tell me i was the only 1.

2. he convinced me not to tell his cousin my bestfriend that we were dating which caused many troubles with our friendship.

3. he cheated with me when we were together. with an older girl that went to my school

4. we had sex and he wouldnt use condoms even if i asked him.

5. when his family found out about me he denied me in front of them. (they have always been like family to me too)

6. he told his cousin and his aunt that when i did it with him i was not a virgin but i was.

7. he spent time with a prostitute but he swears he didnt do nothing w/ her
am

Yea when ever i dont call him he will be like o you dont wanna talk to me huh.
but he got use to it becuase i never call him.
me and his brother are bestfriends and he gets jealous but i dont knw if its becuase he cares for me or just an act.

Answer 1

dump the fool he aint worth it,love hurts but it shouldnt have to hurt that bad,you can do better.no one should be treated like that.

Answer 2

Sweetheart you are obviously an intellegent girl. You know this guy is no good for you and you shouldn't be with him. He spent time with a prostitue but didn't have sex with her???? Well he's either a liar or stupid (actually strike that we know he's both those things) but you have to pay for time with a prostitute. There's no way he didn't do something with her. And now he's having unprotected sex with you. You have no idea how many other girls he's having unprotected sex with. I don't need to tell you what you are risking AIDS is just one of the many and varied illnesses this man could be passing on to you. Your best hope is a teenage pregnancy. Is that really the position you want to be in. I doubt it.

I don't care if he is 23 he's clearly not mature enough for you.
Ok I'm spouting now, that wasn't your question was it. As to why you are still with him. I think you can answer that one too. Because you haven't yet had the courage to do what you know you need to do. Perhaps, in a few years, if he matures.......but he'll probably be too late.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, you don't need anybody else to do that. This boy does not deserve you.

Answer 3

you can't control who you have feelings for, that is why you still want him. you want to find the best in people and believe that they really care about you because you care about them and thats what you want.. i honestly think that you need to get out of this situation as soon as possible. if he is cheating on you and being with other girls and then you guys have sex without a condom he could bring something back to you. he obvisously doesnt care enough about you to do that to you. he wont even admit to being with you and told you to keep it a secret. i would really re-think your relationship. no one deserves to be treated this way. i am not saying you are not in love or anything but why does he have to go after such a young girl?? he obviously has some issues and i think you need to get away from him.

Answer 4

WOW first off you need to drop him. You deserve much better then this a$$ hole. Why would want him back b/c hunny you dont think you can find anyone else and since you said this is your first its even harder to let go. The reason of that b/c he took something from you that he shouldn't of your virginity. It is very hard but you will be able to move on. You need to get out and have fun with your girls. dont worry about finding that guy that guy will find you .

Answer 5

Ok first off you have no buisness dating a 23 year old. Two he hates you so dump him and find someone your own age if you can because if he loved you he wouldn't have cheated on you or forced you to have sex(RAPE) and not many guys like non virgins.

Answer 6

im kinda in the same position but he hurt me in diff ways he cheated but said it didnt mean **** cause he still came to me at the end but i love him amd we have a kide together im 17 but i was 15 tohe changed cause he relized no one will ever love him and care for him like i do not even his dad who he thought would be the first one there for him see he went to jail and i was the only one trying to get him out everyone else said he should stay in there but when he got out they acted so happy but all u got to do is stick with him if u really love him and he will relize when times get tough that u r then one that will be there for him not some hoe or some prositute

Answer 7

some people say that no matter what the love of youre life does you can forgive them but to me it sounds like you have just firgave him that many times that he knows he can get away with it.what you need to do is be the one to flirt with his friends dont do anything just see how he reacts and if you are really the one for him you will see how he reacts and if he reacts by doing then same then that is not love for him to hurt you that many times anyway you would be better off walking away,it will hurt for a bit but you are very young and should not be treated like that of someone who loves you.

Answer 8

My little sister in law went through this years ago. A much older man who cheated, he abused drugs and what not. It's abuse. An older man getting with that much younger of a girl. They do it because they know they can control girls that young. I know you think you need him. But seriously, if he loved you, he would wait for you. He wouldn't make you feel like this. My sis in law btw. Ended up having a kid with him. The kid, spent thanksgiving with us, because.....they were both in jail......thanks to the older man. Trust me, get out of this.

Answer 9

u shouldn't b having sex w/ him in the 1st place... its illegal because he is older than 18 and u r not. i know it is hard, but get rid of him. the easiest way 2 do that is find another boy, but make sure he is a good person, don't just get anybody u can find. try someone more in your age group. im so sorry. things will be ok eventually.

Answer 10

HE IS MANIPULATING YOU. HE WANTS YOU TO BE SO TANGLED UP IN THIS LOVE WEB THAT HE IS WEAVING SO THAT HE WILL HURT YOU REALLY BAD, BUT UNTIL THEN, HE WANTS SOMEONE TO FALL BACK ON, SOME ONE NICE AND INNOCENT, LIKE YOU. PLEASE DONT HURT YOURSELF ANYMORE. hE IS NOT WORTH IT. IF YOU DONT PUT A HALT TO HIS STUPIDITY, THEN YOU MIGHT END UP WITH HIS BABY, BUT IF AND WHEN HE FINDS OUT, HE WILL JUST LEAVE YOU, STUCK, HURT, BROKEN, AND THAT WILL END UP AS A CYCLE. gETTING WITH AN ABUSIVE MAN AND LEAVING THAT RELATIONSHIP BROKEN HEARTED AND LONLEY, AND IT WILL GO ON AND ON UNTIL YOU GET SO SCREWED OVER THAT YOU MIGHT DIE, EITHER BY SUICIDE, OR BY GETTING DRUNK TO EASE THE PAIN. JUST DONT DO IT.

TONIGHT I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND I HOPE YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT THING TO DO. YOU ARE MUCH BETTER THAN HIM BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT WHAT HE IS DOING IS BAD. SAVE YOURSELF YOUR LIFE AND START OVER.

GOOD LUCK, YOU ARE IN MY HEART AND ON MY MIND AND I HOPE THAT I HAVE CONVINCED YOU THAT YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO OVERCOE HIS POWER. YOU ARE INNOCENT, AND SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY IF YOU BREAK UP. IF HE WANTS YOU BACK AND SAYS HE HAS CHANGED...DONT YOU DARE BREAK NOW. YOU HAVE COME SO FAR IN LIFE, MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

YOU ARE NOT HELPLESS ANDYOU WANT TO STAY WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU ARE PRACTIVALLY HYPNOTIZED. DONT LET YOURSELF BE PLAYED AROUND WITH LIKE A MARIONETT (PUPPET).

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

Answer 11

hes 23 n ur 15? ur an idiot, hes just usin u cuz he sees u as a gullible little girl. im surprised his family n ur family were perfectly ok that ur were going out with an adult. just forget about this guy, he sounds like a real creep n he should stick wit women his own age. n ur messed up.