everything ok.i think.but then it isnt.he still says he loves me and stuff.and that he wants to marry me next year and that everythings fine.and i know i believe him.for two years hes been in my face every day and thew thing is he never had any friends [long story] until he started working.....and now hes working he wants to chill out with his mates more and says he doenst want to call me as often.....and that hurts so much.he still says he feels the same and that its nothing to do with another girl [he swore on his mother their wasnt] and that its all just about him chilling out and not being in my face and vice versa......i just feel like its a stab in the heart
i dont know what to do..if i say im leaving he will cry etc etc saying he doesnt wana break up he just wants to spend more time with his mates or just chilling on his own....he said he doenst want to feel like calling me......
i really dont know how to take this..im scared feeling vunreble and just dont know what to do........is this a normal thing....i dunooo....im just really messed up feeling so shitttt
advise me pls.....i know we need space....but its enver happened before and it feels so raw and harsh and just unbearale
when i talk to him i feel ok and he says the right things and says he means them but when i talk to my best mate she says things like oh he doesnt care about u as much he doenst give a damn etc but he says he does
i duno who to believe.....
2006-11-26 05:11:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he just texted me saying he missed me....
2006-11-26 05:15:36 · update #1
sounds like yer best mate might be after him. Give him a little time. you say he didn't have friends...could be a new thing for him. Iknow I like to spend time with friends, just shooitng the breeze talking about everything and nothing. give him a chance, make sure he knows how you feel. Let him know that it hurts your feelings, coz it's new to you too, and you are not comfortable with it. If he keeps getting worse, then you might decide to take drastic measures. But don't hold it against him for making friends.
2006-11-26 05:18:31 · answer #1 · answered by mxzptlk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is you best mate single? If so she could just want someone to be single with, and not even realize that she is doing it. Things will change as a realtionship grows, are you having trouble with this because you don't trust him? Maybe you need your space to find things that you enjoy doing, don't depend on him to make you happy. The more independece you show the more comfortable you will become in your relationship and maybe it will bring you closer, and if it is another woman than it is better to find out sooner than later. If you are doing your own thing, than you can be happy in the fact that you have a life that doesn't revolve around a man.
2006-11-26 05:24:16 · answer #2 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I don't know how old you are so it's a little hard to say, but... people do need friends of the same sex and if they are new friends he'll want to hang out with them more. It's o.k. Sometimes, though, it does have to do with a girl at work, not always, don't freak, and saying it's guy friends is a convenient excuse. If you actually want to know what's going on, show up near the time he gets off work and hide out until he leaves...then follow him and see what he's doing and with who. Don't feel bad...women do this all the time!
2006-11-26 05:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart there are some serious issues here. he had no friends for such a long time you say? that is except you. you were his entire social spectrum. you were his safety net, now he has friends his confidence is returning but sadly he still needs his net incase he falls, You my dear are that net i am afraid. he pushes all the buttons he needs to when your together in order to keep you in a position to catch him if/when he falls. i have been used in such a manor and it isn't pretty. especially when he ups and leaves you for his new found freedom. You need to spend more time on you and what you need. go out with your friend enjoy time with her. and tell him that although you dont mind him being with his friends, you dont want to be left in the freezer like yesterdays meal. you want a life and good-times too, you deserve no less hun.
dont wait around to be used go out and enjoy yourself. Think about what you wanna do and do it, if he wants to join in then fine if not then, ENJOY being you. as for who you should believe? the answer is simple. shape emotion in the fire of your heart but temper the emotion on the anvil of your mind, somewhere in the middle an answer you will find.
2006-11-26 05:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Cff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your trust in him my dear. Men are just like that. They need some time off by themselves and with their buddies. Unlike us, women, we can be really clingy at times. That's a big turn-off for men. While he is away with this friends, do something fun for yourself. Don't make your world all about him. The more you force him to stick with you all the time, the more he'll pull away dear. Trust me on this. I know it feels awful and it really sucks when you feel he's taking you for granted. But that's only temporary. Be the fun, fearless and confident woman he knew from the very beginning of your relationship. In no time, he'll be back in your arms again. Men are just like rubber bands. They pull away but they come back. And yes... I think he really misses you... So smile my dear! ;-)
2006-11-26 05:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by Smooth Operator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try doing something for yourself if u feel like leaving him for time then leave to it for yourself if he cry then let him because he make u cry when he says he don't want to call u so much time or perfer to spend time with his boy than u.......
Either he have someone and he don't want u to know because he don't want to lose u and he jus being a prick about it....
Get some space between u and him and enjoy your life don't rely on him to bring u happiness when hes not even trying
2006-11-26 05:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by tutsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone, guy or girl starts to pull away, that's what they're doing. He isn't ready to settle down but he is also not ready to let you go! Start doing things on your own with your friends and stop worrying about him so much. It will bother him, if he really cares, that you're out having fun too, without him! If it doesn't then he really is ready to let go of you. My main advice it to let him think you're out, even if you aren't! Don't be so available to him. Make him plan things with you.
2006-11-26 05:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by mich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants......so why should you hang onto a glimmer of hope when he keeps taking it away and giving it back.......Maybe you should find something to occupy your time and not talk to him.....make yourself unavailable....if he loves you he will think about what it is he wants and if he doesn't he will just go on his way hanging with his mates. Sounds like your relationship is headed for trouble if you stay with him........You might just be better off finding someone who knows what they want.
2006-11-26 05:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he loves you but when he is with his friends he feels like a man and wants to have fun.. so if he wants to hang out with his buds that fine you should hang out with your friends but tell your friend if she wants to be your friend she cant be trying to start trouble... it will hurt you in a long run tell your man he needs to make a day where he is with his friends and you can be with yours not to just not come home let you know what day and that he needs to make time for you to..
2006-11-26 05:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by Beth m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give him some space. the job is new to him, so is his mates. it is the first time he is having mates in his life, let him. he want to spend some time with his mates, let him. don't let him spend all the time with you, he may get bored with you. don't be over possessive. if he said he is yours, then it surely is. if he swore on his mother, then believe him. if he said that he misses you, then it's true. i suggest you to listen to your heart and listen to your lover. i am not telling you not to listen to your best friends. listen to your heart, give him some time and space, everything will be alright. don't worry, be happy.
goodluck. take care
2006-11-26 05:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋